All Star Strategy #13: Winning By Losing
Written by Mario Lanza
on 05.05.04
"A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?"
-Joshua the war computer, Wargames
I'm
sure by now you have come to the exact same conclusion that I
have. By now you have probably deduced that there will not be a
single surprise the rest of this season, aside from maybe the possible
revelation of the winner. The reason I am so certain that we will
not have any surprises is because the producers are trying soooo hard
right now to make us think otherwise. They are going out of their
way every week to make it look like Rob and Amber are somehow
going to be overthrown. And, well, if you know Survivor, you know
as well as I do that that aint gonna happen. Either Rob or Amber
(with the possible darkhorse pick of Jenna) is going to win this game,
and you could have predicted that almost all the way back on day one.
This
is a column I have been meaning to write for a while now, and I think
it is going to be an important one. Because basically what we are
seeing this season is the -one- flaw in the design of a game like
Survivor. And yeah, we have seen this problem before.
But this season in All Stars it has been especially
evident. And that flaw... is that the best way to win Survivor is
to not play the game at all. I mean, just look at some past
history here. Under-the-radar unthreatening players ALWAYS
do well. You can basically pick them to finish in the top 5 or 6
almost every single time a new season starts. And it's not really
even "under-the-radars" per se, it is more along the lines of players
who refuse to ever be involved in a power move. It is the ones
who keep to themselves, the ones who go along with the flow, the
ones who basically keep their mouths shut. The Ambers.
THOSE are the players that always do well in Survivor. And
because of the way the game is designed, those are the players that
always will.
Just look at Tom and Rupert this season,
because they are perfect examples. They are both kind of floating
along with Rob and Amber, just doing whatever it takes not to make
waves. I assume that both Tom and Rupert are planning to get
down to the final four or five... and then make some sort of a last
minute thrust to victory. This plan sounds perfectly good in
theory, of course, but I doubt that it is going to work. Rob and
Amber have covered their bases way too well to fall for some sort of a
last minute Hail Mary like that. So I fully expect that Tom
and Rupert will be the next two players voted out of the game.
And it really won't be much of a surprise.
But here is
the problem. When Tom and Rupert are voted out, and they will be
voted out, they are going to be crucified in the columns and by
the Survivor experts out there because "they didn't play the
game." They are going to be accused of being passive, of being
stupid, and of making this season extremely dull and predictable to
watch. But the problem with this argument is that Tom and
Rupert are both playing this game PERFECTLY. Don't you
see? This is really the only way you can win Survivor these
days. The only way you can win Survivor after seven seasons is by
keeping your mouth shut, by laying low, and by hoping for a little luck
(as well as that other people will implode) around you. That is
exactly what the two of them are doing and that is exactly the strategy
that the two of them -should- be using. Because Tom and Rupert
aren't stupid. They have both played this game before and they
have figured out the natural evolution of things. And that
evolution is that you play aggressively the first time and then you
play passively the second time. That's really the only way to do
it. Passive players just tend to get further in this game.
Look
at it this way: Rupert played terribly his first time
around. He played terribly in Pearl Islands, he was never going
to win, and he really didn't even come close. And sure, he was
entertaining, but deep down he knew that he would have to change in
order to have a chance of winning in All Stars. And did he
change? You bet he did. And the same with Tom, although Tom
didn't have to change as much as Rupert did since Tom has always been a
little sneaky and shady to begin with.
But yes, this
is the great curse of Survivor. And it is a curse we have been
able to overlook in the past because it hasn't been as obvious as it is
this time around in All Stars. The only way to succeed in the
game nowadays is to NOT play the game. The quiet ones will always
do well. If you are adaptable, if you don't make waves, if you
don't stand out, you might as well just pencil yourself right into the
final four. That is why I have been saying that Amber is going to
win almost the entire season (with a little Kathy detour in there, I
will admit.) And that is why Amber or Jenna will be my pick from
here on out. Amber Brkich was the PERFECT person to predict as an
All Star winner because, as Shii Ann so astutely noted, she has the big
green eyes, the unassuming smile, and the quiet demeanor. In
fact, Amber should have been everyone's pick to win this game all
along. At this point in the season I would be quite shocked if
she DIDN'T win!
Boston Rob as the winner is an interesting
argument because he has been edited as the favorite to win all
along. And I know there is growing sentiment behind him being
able to pull off an All Star win, but I'm sorry, I just don't see it
happening. I'm sorry but alpha males do -not- win Survivor.
Not anymore they don't. All you have to do is go back over
all the Survivor winners since Richard and look at the trend:
2. Tina (a mom, adaptable, well liked)
3. Ethan (quiet, respected, well liked)
4. Vecepia (quiet, adaptable, unthreatening)
5.
Brian - THE ONE EXCEPTION. Brian was either the best player of
all time, or he just had no competition. You decide.
6. Jenna (quiet, well liked, unthreatening)
7. Sandra (well liked, adaptable, unthreatening)
Just
look at that list and tell me that quiet, unassuming players don't end
up winning this game. Brian is the only one who stands out
from the pattern but I still think that Brian Heidik's win was an
anomaly. He was a good player, sure, but Thailand was just a
weird season overall. And don't forget how close Jan came
to getting into that final two.
I have always said
that Survivor is a female game and I have always said that a female
would win All Stars. And if that theory holds to be true, then it
shouldn't surprise you at all to see that so many All Star players are
playing more like females and less like alpha males. These
players have all learned how to play the game, and this time around
they are all playing the smart (if somewhat boring) low-key style of
"don't make waves" Survivor. So if you are wondering why
this season is kind of boring, if you are wondering why All Stars isn't
quite as larger-than-life as you expected it to be, well now you know
why. The reason is that females play Survivor differently than
males do. In fact, in most cases they HAVE to, because they just
aren't as big or as powerful or as dominant. So don't condemn
Rupert and Tom for losing most of their personality this time
around. Blame Survivor for being set up the way it has been
designed. And always remember that players aren't static.
They learn and they adapt and they improve the second time
around. Well, okay, except for Lex. Lex decided to go
the other direction and be as aggressive and as visible and as
alpha male as was humanly possible. And hey, look where
it got him.
By the way, please don't take this column
as a condemnation of Survivor, because it is still my favorite TV
show. This season has just been an interesting experiment in what
happens when past players come back to play again. And I don't
think that most of the audience really realized how much the game
has changed since the first season. Because remember, I know
it was a long time ago, but don't forget that Mark Burnett originally
intended for Survivor to be a "best of the best" type of toughness
competition. He originally intended for the best survivalist to
always rise to the top, for it to be almost sort of a Darwinian
experiment in natural selection. And then when the first season
started he was STUNNED that things like alliances and voting blocs
started to come into play and show up instead. I remember reading
many articles and interviews about how surprised Mark Burnett was that
people would band together and form alliances to protect their own
interests, because that was just -not- the show he had envisioned when
he had pitched it to the network. Heck, it wasn't even the show
that most of the PLAYERS envisioned when they signed up for
it. I mean, just look at what happened to Gretchen and the
Pagongs. If Richard Hatch hadn't been there, I'm not sure
that alliances would have even happened that first season in the first
place.
Flash forward a couple of months to the second
season. By now alliances have become an accepted (and integral)
part of the game. But deep down there was still a minority of
people out there who thought that alliances were unethical and
that they were a cowardly way to play. I remember a few books
that came out at the time (The Stingray by Peter Lance being one of
them) that condemned Survivor for being a contest where "the fat, the
weak, and the downright unethical" had an advantage because they could
just band together and take out the strong. And now you flash
forward to All Stars and you can see that this really has been the
case. The visibly strong, outwardly aggressive leaders like Lex
van den Berghe, Colby Donaldson, Sue Hawk, Burton Roberts, Andrew
Savage... none of these players really stand a chance anymore.
And I want to include Rob Mariano on that list too but I suppose he
still could pull off a miracle and win this game. If he does, I
will say that yes, he was indeed the man. But I will still say he
was an anomaly because he probably got lucky.
In
short, it is kind of funny that we have evolved to a point where the
best way to play the game of Survivor is to not play the game of
Survivor at all. The safest way to win is to play the complete
opposite of how Mark Burnett intended people to play the game in
the first place. By now you can win by losing. You can win
by throwing challenges. You can win by dragging a goat to the
end. And by now you can win the game by banding together to
take out the strong. And Survivor is the only game show I can
think of that actually encourages this type of cowardly strategy.
In my opinion that has always been Survivor's great (only?) flaw.
Winning
by losing happens, and it will continue to happen, because the players
are smart. And because the players have learned. The
players have learned what works. After seven seasons of Survivor,
the players have learned that... like Joshua the war computer learned
in the movie Wargames... sometimes futility is the single most
important lesson you can learn.
Just like global thermonuclear war in the movie, the only surefire way to win Survivor is not to play the game at all.
~~ Episode Notes ~~
*
One of the funniest moments I have ever seen on Survivor took place in
this week's episode. It was when Rob took one look at the
fafaru and his face just completely dropped. I swear, I rewound
the tape about five times and I watched that moment over and over,
and every time it was funnier than the last. Rob is sitting
there, laughing and looking cocky... and then the fafaru comes
out. And immediately Rob gets this look of horror and disgust on
his face. Because he knows. He KNOWS what that stuff is and
he probably still has nightmares about it. Too funny. If
you have it on tape, watch it again. I guarantee it will kill you.
*
Speaking of Rob, if you read my column back during Marquesas you will
remember that I was a huge Rob Mariano fan at the time. In fact
at one point I even said he was my new favorite player of all time, he
had even edged ahead of Tina. Well, over time I eventually
flip-flopped those two and Tina went back to being my #1, but I have
always been a huge Rob fan. In fact, yes, it pains me to
admit that Mariano is probably my favorite Survivor Rob of all time
(sorry Cesternino, at least it's close!) However... all that
being said... it is MUCH easier to root for Rob when he is an
underdog. I have had a hard time rooting for him this season
because, well, as Kathy said, because there is just something that
comes out of him when he is in power and it isn't pretty. So
while Rob has played a nearly flawless game this time around in All
Stars, for whatever reason I have never really gotten behind him.
He is just tough to root for when he is the guy calling the shots.
I hate to say this, but in All Stars he has really been kind of a
dick.
* I didn't really want to harp on the Survivor curse
too much but it makes it hard not to when we have a show like the
Apprentice which is so similar and which came out at the exact same
time. To me, the Apprentice is the type of show that Mark Burnett
expected when he came up with the idea of Survivor. Because the
Apprentice is merit based, the strong will always survive, And
everyone puts forth their full effort at all times to be the best of
the best. You can't do well in the Apprentice by being a coward
and throwing a challenge. Now contrast that with Survivor, where
the weak band together, where the strong are dead meat, and where
people routinely throw challenges just to get rid of their
enemies. Do you think that Donald Trump would let people get away
with throwing projects on the Apprentice? I don't think so!
You throw a challenge on that show and your ass is fired. That is
the big difference between the two shows and it is a good example of
why I appreciate the design of the Apprentice a lot more. I think
Survivor is a better TV show overall, but I definitely respect anyone
who wins the Apprentice. Because that show is almost entirely
merit based. The most dominant one will always win. And
Survivor hasn't been that way for a long time.
* I can't
really sign off without a section on Shii Ann. First off, I was
never much of a Shii Ann fan in Thailand. She never really did it
for me and, frankly, I was a little skeptical when I saw she had been
cast for All Stars. I always thought she was irrelevant and
annoying. But I have to say that she did great in All
Stars. She was clearly one of the stars of the season and
her "salvation" episode where she saved her own butt was one of the
best moments of the season. So I give her and the All Star
editors a lot of credit. You guys turned me into a Shii Ann fan,
and I think that she kicked a lot of butt this season. She is now
one of my favorites. But, come on, you know I can't be all sweet
and gushy without making some sort of an obligatory cheap shot!
Anyway, kudos to Shii Ann for her efforts to break stereotypes on
network TV. She leaves Survivor as the only Asian female on TV
who can't conform to a group, who butts heads with authority figures,
who is terrible at mental games and mindgame puzzles... yet who can
outmuscle Rupert and Boston Rob in a willpower-based strength
challenge. Congratulations Shii Ann, you broke down a lot of
barriers in the world. Sorry, I couldn't resist! :)
POWER
RANKINGS AT THE FINAL FIVE:
If Amber or Jenna do not win this game, I will be
shocked. I will be flabbergasted. And kudos to Shii
Ann for pointing that out. I, along with everyone else in
the world, thought that she was going to name Rob as the player to
watch out for. But Amber is a much better choice. That Shii
Ann is a smart one.
1. Amber Brkich
All
Stars was made for Amber. Even if she doesn't win (hint: she
won't not win), I am glad she got a chance to elevate her reputation
the second time around. Just between you and me, I hope she
Brkicks all of their butts.
2. Jenna Lewis
Jenna
is final three material for sure, maybe even final two. If Amber
doesn't pull off the win, then she will. And don't think I didn't
predict a Jenna win waaaaaay back in my pre-season
dialogue with Murtz. I actually picked a final four of
Jenna L., Amber, Boston Rob, and Lex. How is that for
accuracy?
3. Rob Mariano
Rob
is in a wonderful position at the moment and he is final four
easy. I just don't think he will win. I predict he will be
losing to his girlfriend Amber in the final two. And I don't
think it will be all that close. She is gonna snaaaake him.
4. Rupert Boneham
You
might think he is boring this season, but he is playing a much smarter,
much less TV-friendly game this time around. I suppose he has a
chance to win, but a lot would have to go right for that to happen.
5. Tom Buchanan
Tom
makes the top 5 in both of his attempts at Survivor, and that's pretty
darn good. Nobody else was able to do that. But his time in
this game will soon be over. And as many readers pointed out to
me this week, the multiple shots of him and Bucky Bo dancing together
were just plain wrong.
Boot pick for next week: Rupert.
****************************
The S-C Apprentice:
****************************
As
I have mentioned before, this will be my last season writing this
column. *cue sad music* And as I mentioned last week... I
will be running a game in the offseason called "The S-C Apprentice."
Basically I will be choosing between 10 potential writers to see who
gets to take over this column (and the Power Rankings) next
season. I will be running the game just like the real Apprentice
show... only it will be made up of writing challenges. The results
will be posted on the message board all throughout the offseason (I
will also post who gets fired each week). So if you are interested in
playing... and possibly taking over as the writer of Survivor Strategy
next season... please drop me an email. I hope to hear from
a lot of talented writers and Survivor fans (we have 23 applicants
already!) This could be your big shot to become a columnist!
Thanks,
Mario
*****************************
Mario
Lanza is
a 30-year old writer and programmer from Los Angeles. He is the
lead author of the S-C All-Star Stories as well as the smash hit
Survivor: Okinawa (the finale is this weekend!) And like Ken, he
enjoys when people mail him chocolate chip cookies.