All-Star Hawaii author notes

All-Star Hawaii Author Notes - Episode 12 (The Last Supper)

First off, I have to give a quick shout out to a friend of mine named Kona on the Survivor Sucks message board. Kona happens to have grown up in Hawaii, and he was one of the first people back in 2002 to tell me that all our Hawaiian details in the original story were bullshit. He said the island I described sounded nothing like Hawaii, and it made the story almost impossible for him to get through. He said I needed to do more research before I write about a place that I had never been to before.

And do you know what? He was absolutely right.

If there is ONE improvement I hope I have made in Hawaii in the rewrite, if there is ONE thing I hope I have done better the second time around, it is in the way I described all the location details. I hope that it sounds like Hawaii now. If nothing else, more than anything, that's what I hope to have accomplished.

Is All-Star Hawaii better the second time around? Are the players better? Are the characters more fleshed out?

Will the ending be ultimately more satisfying??

These are all important questions. And I hope the answer to all of them will be yes. But I have to say, so long as I got the location details right this time around, the rest of the questions aren't really all that important to me. If I get the "Hawaii" part right, but the story part wrong, it's not going to bother me. All I have really cared about all along is that people like Kona will read my story and won't immediately call bullshit.

I hope that this time around, it actually sounds like Hawaii.

In any case, I ran into Kona on the message board this week (for the first time in like 5 years) and he reminded me of this. He said he hadn't read the rewrite yet, but he plans to. He just hoped it was a little better researched this time.

So do I, Kona. Mahalo. Believe me, so do I.

So what were the interesting facts behind episode 12 of Hawaii?

Well the most interesting part for me was in who ended up winning immunity. Because I have to tell you, when I originally sat down to write this episode, I was almost 100% sure that Alicia was going to be the one going home. I had it all planned out in my head. Alicia was going to start throwing her weight around (thanks to her blackmail deal with John), she was going to push things a little bit too far, and the others were going to get sick of her. Bam. See you later, Alicia. 4-1.

And what was probably going to happen at that point was that we would have two former winners in the final two. Tina against Vecepia. That was the ending I thought was going to happen for a long time now. I was planning on surprising everyone by having Vecepia actually win over Tina at the end of All-Star Hawaii.

But alas, my plans are sometimes foiled by my random immunity picks.

What happened when I sat down to write episode 12 is that I randomly chose a name out of a hat as the final reward winner, and I came up with Alicia. Hmmmm, interesting. She was a player I was getting ready to write out of the story, and yet here she was about to have a very pivotal role in this particular episode. After all, the person who wins the final reward not only gets the big prize (normally a car, but in this case a house), but also gets to take someone with them on a reward trip. And obviously, when you think about who Alicia is going to take on her trip, there's only one person who COULD be chosen, and that's John.

Hmmmm. So there you go. John and Alicia are going to be off on a reward trip for nearly an entire day. How is that going to relate to the storyline? This is the question I had to think about. What is the two of them away from camp going to do to the strategy?

Well obviously the three people left back at camp would be Tina, Vee, and Gretchen. And that posed an interesting dilemma. Because I knew that Gretchen would be pulling pretty hardcore for a final three alliance. I mean, that's pretty much her only chance in this game. Her relationship with Alicia is dead, she has almost no ties to John at all. Alicia already shot down her idea to take out one of the winners. So why not? Why not go to Tina and beg her to do the "all chick thing"?

So right there, I knew I had the storyline for the first two days of this episode. Alicia and John are away, and Gretchen begs the winners to take her in. That's about 5 pages worth of action. Yet for purposes of this story, I had to find some way to stretch 5 pages of action into about 40. That's part of the problem when I have established episodes as long as I have in All-Star Hawaii. If I suddenly dumped a 20 page episode on you (which by all rights this one should have been), it would have felt liked I phoned it in. That's why I had so many scenes of Gretchen going to Tina, and Tina shooting her down, etc. Even though it's the exact same scene, I just did it different ways every time (like the scene with the turtle) so you wouldn't really notice it.

So anyway, there you go. Gretchen wants in with the winners, but the winners say no. I'm sure you could make an argument that Tina or Vee MIGHT say yes in this particular situation, but in this story, with the characters I have created, I felt they would say no. After all, since I was really hammering on the "Tina and Gretchen are enemies because they are so similar" storyline in this and the last couple episodes, I felt it would just work better that way. I wanted Tina to be adamant that they would never team up.

So Gretchen was done. She was lost without options. The only thing that was going to save her at this point was immunity. If she hadn't won immunity in this episode, she was going to home.

And that's when something interesting happened with the random immunity pick.

I wrote the first day of this story (day 34), and then I immediately jumped ahead to see who the immunity winner was going to be.

Now, normally I don't do this. Normally, I write the story all the way up to the immunity challenge, and THEN I pick the immunity winner. I do this because I don't like cheating. I don't like the idea that I might know who is winning immunity so early in the episode. Because if I do, then I can cheat and kind of tip off who it was going to be. I think it hurts the writing. So normally I try to write the first two days as far as I can, until I decide an immunity winner.

But with this episode, I was a little worried about it being too predictable. I mean, come on, in the final five it's almost always pretty obvious who is going to go home in Survivor. You usually have 4 people and one outsider. That's almost always the case. And in Hawaii it was the exact same thing. You had 4 players + Gretchen. If Gretchen hadn't won immunity, she would have been the most obvious bootee in the history of my stories. And that was something I was definitely worried about. I hate being predictable.

So this is why I drew the random immunity winner so early. Not because I was trying to cheat, but because I really wanted to know if Gretchen was going to win immunity or not. If she DID win immunity, then great. That throws a wrench into everything. But if she DOESN'T win immunity? Man. I Knew I was going to have to throw in some clever editing in an attempt to disguise that. I knew that if she didn't win immunity, my job would suddenly get hard.

So I drew the random immunity winner.

I came up with Alicia.

Hmmmm. Okay, so this was the dilemma I was now facing. I had an episode where Gretchen was guaranteed to go home, and it was probably going to happen right after Alicia kicked her ass in back to back challenges (and probably rubbed it right in her face. too). Gretchen was going to get a sound beating at the hands of Alicia.

In my head, I could see the storyline. I could see Alicia make a triumphant victory over her Keko enemy. She'd beat Gretchen, and she would be excited about it. And then, of course, she'd get her ass voted out at the final four (just like Gretchen was warning her).

That wasn't a very good storyline. You could see it coming a mile away. It wouldn't please anyone.

So I sat down and I thought about it.

I thought, "What does the immunity winner drawing mean, anyway?" Does it mean that this person HAS to win immunity? Or does it just mean that they decide how it is going to end? Could I theoretically write a challenge that Alicia WOULD have won, if she had not thrown it? Would that be realistic, and more importantly, fair, to the story?

My first instinct here was to have Alicia win the challenge, and then give immunity to Gretchen at Tribal Council. I thought that would be a fun scene. Alicia is immune all day, and then-- oops-- look John, I just forced you to make a choice. Vote for me or vote for Tina. I hope you choose wisely!

You see, all along, that was the dream subplot I had in the back of my head for this episode. Make John choose. I wanted to force John to have to choose. Because I knew it would make for some interesting drama. What if Alicia put John in a position where he HAD to choose between her and the Ahis? How much power would she have over this decision And better yet, how would John respond to that? Would he flip out? Or would he tuck his tail between his legs and act like her bitch? All along, this was the storyline I hoped was going to be the central part of this episode. I wanted to see what happens if Alicia pushes John into this.

In fact, this would make an excellent topic of conversation for the two of them to have on their reward trip.

A ha. Now I just had my day 35 written! Now John and Alicia could talk about the spoiler decision, and how John is a little worried Alicia is going to do something stupid. It's perfect. I just have to have Alicia remind him a couple of times that he is never going to vote for her, and--- voila--- that sets up my day 36 drama of John being forced to choose. I liked the way this was turning out very much.

And that was when I got the image in my head that I knew would be the centerpiece of this episode.

The minute I got the mental image of "Alicia forcing John to choose", I started thinking up what the best way would be for Alicia to do it. I mean, I knew she was going to do it one way or another. That was what this entire episode was going to be out. This was the Alicia vs. John show.

So how does she force him to decide?

Well obviously the only way she can get him to decide is if Gretchen wins immunity. That's the only logistical way it works. And, unfortunately, Gretchen didn't come up as my random immunity winner.

That was the bad news.

So again, I went back to the drawing board. How can Alicia control it so Gretchen DOES win immunity? Because that was the rule I decided on. I decided that the immunity winner didn't necessarily HAVE to win immunity. They just have to be in control of who does. I decided that, for purposes of the story, it works much better if Alicia uses her power in this challenge to start throwing her weight around.

Like I said earlier, I could have just had Alicia give her necklace to Gretchen at Tribal Council. That would have worked just fine. But there were two problems with that.

A) Then I wouldn't get a fun Alicia-John blackmail scene, where she coldly reminds him of what exactly she COULD do to him in a final jury. I wanted Alicia to calmly point out all the jurors John would never get. That was a scene I stupidly neglected to include in the last episode. This time, she actually gives details.

B) And here's the kicker. I couldn't remember if players actually could give immunity away back in season 5. I forgot if that was even an option then. I knew it started around season 4 and 5, and I know it never actually happened until Jenna and Heidi in the Amazon, but I wasn't 100% sure if it would have been an option at this point in Survivor history. I'm sorry, I'm old. Sometimes I forget these things.

Since I wasn't sure if Alicia could just give the necklace away or not, I just decided to be safe and have her throw the challenge to Gretchen instead. After all, Gretchen would theoretically be pretty good at an arm hang challenge (most women are good at that). So it wasn't a stretch of the imagination that she would be hanging there as long as she could.

And pretty much, at this point, that's how the episode came together.

Alicia wins reward and takes John. Gretchen tries to get in with the Ahis. Alicia comes back and has decides to force John's hand. She takes one look at the immunity challenge, she knows she can ace it, and she decides to take control of the game. And bingo, that's how this episode came about. Since Alicia won the immunity draw, there was no chance I was going to let her get voted out.

Everything else in this episode was either me setting up a future scene, me throwing you misdirection, or me throwing in some random Hawaiian details (like the honu on the beach, or the helicopter ride, where the earphones really are like that).

Although if you read the end of day 35, you will see I flat out say that Tina is going to be leaving at the end of this episode. That's the only time in three stories I have ever done that.

But I couldn't resist. I loved the irony that "Tina being honest" was going to cost Tina the game. I wanted to point that out to you.

I actually wrote that scene several different ways though.

So here we are in the final four.

Gretchen, Alicia, Vecepia, and John.

It's an interesting mix.

Did you realize that if you compare the original version of Hawaii with the rewrite, there is only ONE player who made the final four in both stories? Yup. The only person in the final four both times was Alicia. Last time the final four was Colleen, Tina, Alicia, and Kathy.

Is this a coincidence?

Well I won't say I deliberately TRIED to have new players in the final four. But I will definitely say that if came down to character A or character B in a coin flip, I almost always opted to go with the new character. I mean, come on. I've already written a story with Kathy, Alicia, Colleen, and Tina in the final four. This time, I wanted to do something different. I mean, come on, what fun would it be with the exact same dynamic? Where's the anger? Where's the animosity?

I'm very pleased with this final four. Much more pleased than last time.

Why?

Well because in THIS story, I actually have some heat between the characters for a change!

I have to say, I have never had a final four where the four players have actually disliked one another so much. Ever. It has never happened. Most of my final four episodes tend to be hearts and flowers, let's all win it for the team.

But not this one.

The Hawaii finale this time around is going to be a ball breaker. Several people are going to have very nasty things happen to them, and it's going to be ugly. And I have to say I am incredibly excited about it. I mean, come on. My stories aren't generally known for being nasty or mean. I am looking forward to doing something different for a change. I deliberately went out of my way to have these characters actually hate one another.

So no, if you are asking, the four people in the final four are NOT there just out of coincidence. That was not an accident. They ALL have something to prove. I mean, go back and read John's speech at Tribal Council. He hit the nail right on the head. This isn't just the Gretchen Show. This is Survivor retribution for ALL of them.

No matter what happens, it is gonna be good.

Oh yeah, and that whole John speech at Tribal Council? It's there for two reasons.

A) Because I was worried that a "Gretchen comes back and kicks all of their asses" storyline, which is still quite plausible, could have been considered way too obvious and way too unsatisfying. I was worried that if she won, readers would get to the end and say "Duh, of course she won. This was the Gretchen show."

B) And this is the sneakier reason. I wanted to make sure that if Gretchen DOESN'T win (which again, is quite plausible), I wanted readers to think back to that scene and say, "Oh yeah, I guess Mario was trying to prepare us for this." I wanted the Gretchen fans to think back to that scene and say, "I guess all along she was only destined for third place. We should have been ready for that."

In either case, that scene worked exactly as I wanted it to. It's like an inkblot test. You tell ME what it means. :)

Okay before I sign off to start writing the finale, I have to say something about Alicia. It's not all that important, but it has to be said. It will explain a lot in terms of why I have written her this way.

When Alicia won the original Hawaii story back in 2002, it didn't go over particularly well. Most fans reacted with outrage and/or shrugs of contempt. And even though most people wouldn't come right out and say it, I could tell they were a little disappointed. You could just tell. NOBODY liked Alicia as the winner. It didn't seem to be a particularly satisfying ending for ANYBODY.

So I sat down and I thought about this. I thought about it a lot between 2002 and 2008.

Why didn't people like Alicia as the winner? What was the problem there? Did they just not like her character? Was it because she was just underdeveloped as a character? Was the problem that there were just too many OTHER favorite characters in the cast, and Alicia winning just pissed everyone off? What was the major problem people seemed to have with this?

So I asked around. I did a lot of research. I asked why people hated the Alicia ending so much.

Here are the four biggest reasons people mentioned to me:

A) Alicia is just a minor character, and is barely even an All-Star in the first place. She shouldn't have won.
B) It was just a big "meh" ending. I spent all that time reading your story, and then I find out that Alicia is "the best of the best"?? What the fuck!
C) Alicia was the least developed character in the story. She wasn't good OR bad. You couldn't root FOR her or AGAINST her. She was just "there."
D) Alicia never took any heat for anything she did in the story. It was like you just forced her as a surprise winner just to throw everyone off.

So anyway, those were the four things I remembered about my Alicia win the first time around. People hated it for one of four reasons. In fact, some people even hated it for two or three of those.

So what could I do about this the second time around?

Well the obvious answer, of course, would be "Don't let Alicia win in the rewrite." I mean, wouldn't that be the option that took the least work? I could have had the exact same story as last time, only once we get to the final five I could have had Gretchen vote off Alicia instead of the other way around. Then I would have satisfied all the Alicia-haters out there, and it would have been a fun new development to play with. I mean, Gretchen in the final four. Who wouldn't root for that?

But at the same time, I knew that was also a bit of a cop out.

Look, I'll be honest with you. I went into the Hawaii rewrite with the idea that Alicia was NEVER going to win again. No way. I will tell you that right now. At the start of this story, there was NO WAY she was ever going to get to the final two. I wasn't going to sabotage her, per se, but if there was any chance to sort of tomahawk her character along the way (in a logical way) I was going to do it. That was sort of a no brainer for me.

But then something interesting happened.

As the story progressed, and as she started to develop as a character, I started to like her. She ended up being a fun character to write. And then, through events that I hadn't really anticipated, she sort of stumbled into a position where she was important to the story.

And then all of a sudden, here she is again. In the final four.

And the unexpected thing is... this time, she could very much theoretically win this!

Do I hate Alicia? Of course not. She's not my favorite character. But she's certainly one of my top 5 or 6. And I have to say I would have no problems with this incarnation of Alicia winning Hawaii. Yeah, people might hate it, and yeah the old school Hawaii fans might revolt, but who cares? I think she has earned it. This version of Alicia is playing with gusto right now.

Once I realized that Alicia actually had a chance to win Hawaii (which was around episode 7 or 8), I did two things with her character right away. I made her big and bold, and I stuck her right in your face. I hade her as ballsy as possible. I made it impossible to ignore her.

Why?

Well that's easy. Because if Alicia wins, I want the badasses in the audience to say, "Ha ha, she kicked their ass. She's like Brian. What an ass kicker." And if she loses, I want the non-badasses in the audience to say, "Awesome, what a bitch. I'm glad she got a comeuppance."

I have basically set it up so that, win or lose, you will have a response to Alicia's storyline either way. Either you will enjoy it, or you will be incensed by it.

There's no way I'm letting her turn into a "meh" character this time, no matter where she finishes.

And no, that's not character sabotage. That's writer insurance.

Special Trivia Note: I don't normally steal jokes from people, but in this episode I had to make an exception. Because this one was too perfect.

Remember that joke that John says in the reward challenge, where he says "Who do I look like? Gepetto?"

Well I stole that from a comedian named Nick DiPaolo. That's from his stand up act. He is talking about how a doctor handed him some "build it yourself" crutches in a hospital once, and that was his response. Who the fuck do I look like? Gepetto?

Gepetto was Pinocchio's Dad, if you don't get it.

In any case, yes I stole that joke, and yes I always knew I was going to credit it. I couldn't come up with a one liner that good if I tried.

Come to think of it, John probably wouldn't have come up with it either.

Oh well, it was still funny.

On to the finale!

The Vegas odds currently have Gretchen as the overall favorite at 2:1.

I don't know. I'm leaning heavily towards Vecepia. After all, she's silent but deadly.

What say you?

Back to All-Star Hawaii, Episode Twelve (The Last Supper)