All-Star Hawaii Author Notes - Episode 3 (Here There Be Traitors)

by Mario Lanza



My notes about this episode are going to be a lot shorter than the previous two, for the simple reason that this episode is a lot more straightforward. There's really not all that much that has to be said.

Episode three was easily the best of the first few episodes back in 2002. So there wasn't much that had to be changed. I basically kept the exact same plot, the exact same style, and just fleshed it out a bit to make the characters a little more believable. And, voila, you now have the very exciting and very important third episode of All-Star Hawaii.




SUE VERSUS LEX:

Back in 2002, I knew that the Sue/Lex showdown was going to be an important one in the story. I also wanted to delay it for as long as I could. One of my rules of writing a "serial novel" is that no storyline should reach a resolution in the exact same episode. Once I got the readers hooked, I wanted to drag a plotline out for two or three more episodes, just so they'd keep reading if they wanted to find out how it eventually resolved. So that was the basic premise here. I set up "Sue versus Lex" way back in the opening paragraphs of episode one, and I knew they wouldn't actually face off until episode three or episode four. All that was done for a reason.

I knew I'd have a hard time drawing out such an important showdown without ever coming to a resolution. But I got lucky when our random immunity coin flip had Ahi win the first two immunities. Luckily, fate saved my butt and gave me a justified reason to drag out the plotline that I would have drawn out anyway. Because even if Ahi HAD Ahi gone to Tribal Council in episode one or two, I wouldn't have had this showdown right away.

That's right. Even if Ahi had lost the first immunity challenge, I wouldn't have had Sue and Lex have their showdown. I would have had them lose someone like Rob or Colleen instead. The "Sue vs. Lex" drama was way too important to be paying off right away. After all, it was the only real drama going on for the first three episodes at Ahi!

So anyway yeah I was always saving the Sue vs. Lex showdown for a few episodes, and I got lucky when my coin flip said that Keko was going to Tribal Council the first two episodes instead. Had Ahi ended up going, it would have been a stretch to drag out Sue's demise for more than three days.

And yes, I always knew that Lex would win the showdown with Sue. There's no way you can go into a 4-4 tie with Vecepia standing behind you. Sorry. In the words of the immortal Damon Wayans, Homie just don't play that. Sue was toast.





COLLEEN IN PERIL:

One of my goals when I sat down to write Hawaii was to find some way to put Colleen Haskell in peril, and the quicker, the better. You see, I never really knew what to do with her as a character. I always have a hard time writing younger females (witness Elisabeth in All-Star Alaska). They are easily the hardest demographic for me to write. And the fact that Colleen was a Pagong was even worse!

Why are Pagongs so hard to write? Well for starters, because they never really "played" Survivor the first time around. They never really figured out what the game was supposed to be until it was far too late. So it's almost impossible to predict how a Pagong would play the second time around, because we never saw them play the FIRST time around. So when you start writing characters like Gretchen and Borneo (and Greg in Alaska) you're basically just winging it on how you think they would play.

With Gretchen (Pagong example #1), I figured she'd be pretty much the same the second time around. Sure, she might be a little more strategic. But I always felt that Gretchen was pretty much incapable of being anybody EXCEPT Gretchen. So in Hawaii she's pretty much the exact same character as she was in Borneo. Of course that might change in future episodes, but for now she's just an extension of Gretchen in Pagong.

With Greg, well, if you read Alaska, you saw what I decided to do with him. I won't talk about Greg here because these are Hawaii notes, not Alaska notes. But I will tell you that my Greg in Alaska was highly complimented by many, many people (including Kelly Wiglesworth herself) as the EXACT way Greg would probably play the second time around.

And then of course we come to Colleen.

Colleen Haskell was really in a unique position coming in my Hawaii story because she was virtually beloved by just about everybody. It may seem strange to think of EVERY Survivor fan loving a certain character, but the audience didn't use to be as polarized as it is now. Everybody really DID love Colleen back at the end of Borneo. She really was "America's Sweetheart." And that made her a unique character to write in a story. There was no way I could ever write this story and not make her a likable underdog.

So before the story began, I sat there and brainstormed what I wanted to do with Colleen. I knew she had to be a hero. But I also knew nobody would take her seriously. How would Colleen play the second time around? Well my gut told me she'd try a lot harder this time around. But at the same time, she's just too "Colleen" to really make this a life or death game. She doesn't care that much about winning. If she were to lose tomorrow, she'd go home and she'd still be America's Sweetheart, and she'd be fine.

So I sat there and I thought... how can I make the audience immediately interested in Colleen's story... and still make it seem like she's straddling the line between "America's Sweetheart", and "hardcore first time player"?

And then of course it hit me.

I needed to turn this story into "Colleen in Peril"!

The minute I knew Colleen was going to be in my story, I knew that I had to get her into some sort of danger. And fast. I didn't care what it was. Maybe a meteor could be hurtling towards her. Maybe Lex would come after her with a pitchfork. Maybe she could start dating Chris Benoit. I had no idea. All I knew was that she HAD to get into peril, and I had to make the audience worry about her safety very early in the story. I figured that the fastest way to get people behind Colleen as a character was to make you feel worried about her.

So that's where I sort of came up with the "Colleen sticks by Sue when all of Sue's allies back off" storyline. I wanted Colleen to be exposed, very early on, as an enemy of Lex. And I wanted to have her get caught with her hand in the cookie jar in a very, very obvious way. I wanted Colleen to TRY to play Survivor, and then fail, and then suddenly get caught playing a very serious game against serious people.

Basically, like I said, it was "Colleen in peril."

And at the end of the episode three, now I've got it.

Yay!


P.S. If you watch the TV show "24", you will recognize my theory on Colleen as the same theory the 24 writers have about Kim Bauer. Sure, she's cute to look at. And sure, she has potential as a character. But I'd much rather take a shortcut and just put Colleen in peril, so you're worried about her safety for the rest of the show. It's the exact same thing they always did with Kim in the early seasons of 24. Hey, here's Kim, coming to visit her dad! Uh oh, now she's being menaced by a cougar. Uh oh, now she's being thrown out of a helicopter. The 24 writers always fell right into the same old lazy "Kim im peril" plot shortcut, and I'm proud to say I did the same thing with Colleen in Hawaii.


P.P.S. Another Pagong I was always fascinated with writing was Jenna Lewis. I always thought she'd be a KILLER player the second time around. She just had that innate meanness and media whorishness about her, and I figured she would absolutely murder people if she got to play Survivor again. And I had always intended to use her, too. Jenna Lewis was my ace in the hole as a future Survivor villainness who would be an awesome character in a story. But unfortunately for me, I never got the chance. I only ended up writing two All-Star stories (Hawaii and Alaska), and Jenna just wasn't a big enough star to warrant using in either one. And then I would have used Jenna in my third All-Star story, but that one (Greece) ended up being "Second Chances" again, and Jenna got too far in Borneo to be in that story.

So sadly, I never got to use Jenna in a story. I never got to turn her into the mean-ass little villain like Mark Burnett and the producers expected her to be back in Borneo. And it ticks me off. I should have used her. She would have been a really fun hateful little character.

Of course, you know what happened when Jenna got cast on the REAL All-Star Survivor. She turned into the exact same character I would have written her as in a story! I knew it! All-Stars totally vindicated my belief that Jenna would be a little hellcat the second time around. Now if only I'd had the balls to have ever used her!



P.P.P.S. I actually almost got into a spat with Jenna Lewis on the Fishbowl radio show over this very same topic. I was the guest one day on Rob and Jenna's talk show, and Rob started talking about my stories (of which he was a big fan.) The subject came up that I had never included Jenna as a character in any of my stories, and Jenna got sort of offended. She said, "So wait, dude, you wrote three All-Star stories? And I was never in any of them?" I said no. I'd never had a chance. And she just replied, sort of snippily, "Hmmm, that's funny. I get third place in the real All-Stars and you didn't think I was a worthy choice in three different stories?"

If you ever listen to this radio broadcast, you'll notice that I don't actually reply to this comment. Jenna throws out the perfect bait for me to give a smartass reply, but my mind wouldn't actually let me make it. Because if I had replied the way I'd wanted to, if I'd really said something like, "Well the only reason you got third on All-Stars because the real All-Stars all got voted out first." well, as you could imagine, we might have had a big old nasty argument.

Unfortunately, I just didn't feel like arguing with Jenna that day. But not a day goes by in my mind that I don't wish I had actually said that. Man that would have been fun. I wish I would have had the balls to tell Jenna, "You weren't in my first two stories because you weren't an All-Star."

Ah well. Live and learn.

Next time it comes up, I will mention it.






STRATEGY VS. CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT:

I know I've said this before, and I know a lot of new readers might find it surprising, but I don't give a rat's ass about strategy in a game like Survivor. I couldn't care less about who is strategizing with whom, and I couldn't care less about who wins because they were the best overall "strategist."

The only thing I care about in Survivor (whether in the TV show, or in my stories) is character development. The only thing I care about is that you believe these are real people in the pages of my story.

In my mind, ANYBODY can write a story about strategy. Just about anybody on the face of the earth can sit down and write a story about how Player X betrayed Player Y. And how Player Z won because Player X was mad about it afterwards. Anybody can write that. And to me, that's so incredibly BOOOOOOORING. No way in my life would I EVER write a story where the only focus was on strategy, and who did it the best.

In my opinion, if you focus your story on stratagy (over character) you wind up with every character sounding exactly the same. They all sound like monotone little game-bots. There's no personality. There's no warmth or depth. All you have is 16 people who are following the exact same game template, and the exact same path to victory. And I'm sorry. That's ridiculous. If I wanted to see something like that (where every player is an expert, and no player ever screws up) I'd go watch professional bowling. That's NOT why people like Survivor. And neither should you.

In a perfect world, I'd love to write a Survivor story where there is no strategy at all. I'd love to write a story that details 24 hours on the island in Borneo, where the tribe sits around and just talks. And at no point does the thought of strategy or voting even come up. Now THAT would be a fun story to write. The only problem is that it would tick off a lot of the audience. A lot of people DO come to these stories to read strategy, and game outcome. And even though I don't agree with it, I understand.

Over the years, I've come to accept "strategic plotting" as sort of a necessary evil in my stories. I wish there were less of it, but sometimes you just have to include it. After all, this IS a contest. The people in this story are trying to win a game. And I accept that.

But in my mind I'll always choose "character development" over strategy. Always. I would much rather have fifty scenes involving the Kekos teasing Colby about his crush on Tina, Over one scene of pre-vote strategy talk. I'd take a hundred scenes of Alicia being annoyed at Mike in the morning, over one scene of Lex and Sue gathering votes. Because to me, it's THOSE scenes that make the story. It's those little character driven scenes that tend to make my stories more memorable than the rest.

Remember, ANYBODY can write a strategy scene. But it takes a lot more finesse (and love) to write a scene where two people interact, and it doesn't impact the story at all. THOSE are the scenes I strive for in my stories above all else. In fact, whenever a Survivor used to email me to compliment me about my stories (which used to happen all the time), it was always those little character driven scenes that stood out to them. In particular, I remember Helen Glover emailing me once about a scene she liked in Alaska. She told me, "I can't believe you caught that I actually do so-and-so when I am talking. I've never talked about that interviews, but you nailed it. That was incredible."

It's compliments like that that make me keep writing these stories. And it's comments like that that always come up when people email me.

Remember, anybody can write strategy. Anybody!

But make your characters distinct, and make them fun, and make them real people, and you'll distinguish your story from everyone else's.




OLD VERSION VS. NEW VERSION:

Not much changed in the new version. In fact I'm not even going to post the original version this week. Just take my word for it that it's almost exactly the same. The only thing that's new at all is the fact that Keko teases Colby about Tina. That was fun. Oh yeah, and I also added a lot of new discussion over who would switch votes in a tie, and who wouldn't. Not all of that was important information, but some of it was. So just remember that. People who are familiar with the original story (aka, Colleenlover) will know exactly what I was doing in this episode.





HISTORY OF EPISODE THREE:

If I recall, this was an episode that I wrote back in 2002. You can tell because of the deer butchery scene at the beginning. There's no way any other author would have written it that way. In fact, if I remember, I had a hard time convincing the team that it even needed to be there at all.

Back in 2002, when I first wrote this episode, I wanted to open it in a very distinct way. I wanted Mike to kill something, and I wanted to turn it into a really creepy bloodbath slasher movie. For no other reason but to get a reaction fron the audience right from the start. So I wrote this cool scene where Mike stalks a deer, and then he butchers it. And when the Kekos see him, he's giggling and covered in blood.

As a huge fan of horror movies, and someone who's, inevitably, very desensitized to blood and gore, I wrote this scene and thought it was funny. Ha! Mike butchers a deer and then he basically rolls around in the entrails to prove that he's nuts. Well I thought it was funny. But the rest of my team said, "Um, Mario. Are you sure?" Most of them didn't like how gory it was. In fact, one of our writers said he was sickened that there was any blood at all. He thought that the death of an animal was something we shouldn't be celebrating.

Well boo the bleep hoo.

Anyone's who ever read my blog will have a pretty good idea that the PETA argument never works with me. I love animals, but I can't stand PETA. Never could. So the minute I got the "don't kill an animal, it's cruel" argument, well I pretty much made up my mind that I was GOING To use this scene, and they weren't going to stop me. If for no other reason than principle, it was going in the story, just to show that normal story conventions didn't apply to me.

(Note: I believe I've talked about this somewhere, but I've always felt that the most important thing you should do in ANY good horror movie (or horror story) is to off a dog. Just introduce a dog, and have it meet an unfortunate end. Why? Well not because I hate dogs. I love dogs! I just happen to think that the cliche of "the dog must always survive" is retarded. How on earth can you make a horror movie and set limits on who you can and can't kill? Why does the dog have to survive just because he's a dog?

So in my opinion, if you're going to make a good horror movie, you should have a dog unexpectedly get offed in the first couple minutes. Because if you do this, you're basically telling the audience, "Don't expect to get lulled into a comfort zone. Anybody is fair game in this movie, and you better believe it." Because if you prove that you're willing to cross the "don't kill any animals" rule, well then the audience is putty in your hand. And if you don't believe me, just realize that a dog gets offed in both Halloween and Jaws (two of the scariest movies of all time.) Once the filmmakers crossed that line, the audience was theirs.)




So anyway that's where I was coming from with the deer scene at the start. I wanted to have a scene that really jarred the reader awake, and into the story. And I wanted to make you realize, uh oh, this story crosses lines that others won't cross. I fought and I fought and I fought for that scene, and I was lucky enough that, eventually, the others gave in.

Of course I DID have to tone down the blood. In the original version of episode three, the whole Mike scene is creepy, but essentially bloodless. At least, when compared to the "Mike is drenched in blood gorefest" I had in my mind. So I agreed to cut out the blood. But I did ask for one concession in return.

My only concession was that if I cut out the blood, I got to put in a quick moment when Mike lifts the deer's head up and shows it to Kathy. I said, okay, no blood, but at least let Mike pick the head up like he'd holding a puppet. I wanted to show SOME reason why the Kekos think Mike is crazy. And since I had agreed to cut out the blood, I got my request. Yay for persistence!

Oh, and then of course, in the rewrite, the blood went right back in.

So there.





Okay I think that's just about it for my episode three notes. The episode was originally written by me, it was the only one of the first four that really had any "character development" at all, and it was the first All-Star episode I ever wrote that would pass my picky critieria as "being any good." And I'm pleased to see that people like the rewrite as much as they liked the first.

The episode was originally called "A Numbers Game", but that was boring so I changed it to "Here There Be Traitors" in the rewrite. And that's an homage to the title of a Stephen King short story ("Here There Be Tygers") if anyone's interested.

Oh yeah, and the relay race? Hands Across Hawaii? I swiped that idea and used it again as one of the challenges in my Survivor: Okinawa game.





Episode four is coming soon.

It's a good one.

And I have lots of interesting things to say about it, too.

Just wait. :)

-Mario





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