All-Star Survivor: Hawaii Episode #2 Down the Hatch

Keko Tribe (green): Alicia Calaway, Gretchen Cordy, Colby Donaldson, Richard Hatch, Michael Skupin, Kathy Vavrick-O'Brien, Ethan Zohn
Ahi Tribe (orange): John Carroll, Frank Garrison, Colleen Haskell, Susan Hawk, Rob Mariano, Vecepia Towery, Lex van den Berghe, Tina Wesson

Click here to watch the All-Star Hawaii opening credits!

NIGHT 3 - AFTER TRIBAL COUNCIL




The Keko tribe returned to camp tired and spent.

After voting Teresa out at Tribal Council, the seven members of Keko wanted nothing more than to get back to camp, and go to sleep. They wanted nothing more than to put this horrible day behind them, forget about the way they had dumped T-Bird, and move on. After all, it's not every day you vote out somebody as sweet, and as kind-hearted, as Teresa Cooper. It's not every day that you and six of your pals team up to shoot your crippled puppy in the back of the head.

So the Kekos walked back to camp with every intention to forget what they'd done, and go right to bed.

But, of course, for some of them, absolution just wasn't going to be that painless and easy.

Gretchen Cordy, the proud and strong leader of the Kekos, knew that sleep wasn't going to be coming anytime soon tonight. She knew that, no matter how tired she was, or how much she just wanted to move on and forget about what she had done, she wasn't going to be forgiven for this through the escape of a solid night's sleep. No way. It just wasn't going to be as easy as that. Her conscience was raging, and just wasn't going to allow it.

You see, Gretchen might have been a strong woman. And she might have been a very capable and independent woman. But deep down, she was very much also an ethical woman. Above all else, Gretchen Cordy cared about fair play. She cared about right, and wrong, and the way things were supposed to happen in this world.

And already, Gretchen felt extraordinarly awful about what had happened to Teresa at Tribal Council.

"Hey, you okay?" Alicia asked as they walked. Alicia had been the first person to notice Gretchen's ashen face throughout most of the walk back to camp. And, concerned, she asked what was up. Gretchen wasn't the type of person who just randomly got sick out here in the wilderness. When Gretchen looked sick, something was wrong. And the minute Alicia saw that look on Gretchen's face, she moved in to find out what was the matter with her.

"Oh, it's nothing," Gretchen lied, as she trudged along the path back to camp. "I just don't think I drank enough water. It'll pass."

Gretchen didn't want to tell Alicia the truth. She didn't want to admit to anybody that coming back to play Survivor had been a horrible mistake. Oh, Gretchen may not have realized it before, but she sure as hell realized it now.

Gretchen Cordy just wasn't cut out to play the game of Survivor.

She just wasn't meant to be voting out people she considered her friends.

As the rest of the Kekos walked back to camp in somber silence, Gretchen and Alicia fell to the back of the pack, with Gretchen still looking shaken and sick. And Alicia was worried. Oh, she knew better than to believe that Gretchen had gotten herself sick. Gretchen Cordy was way too good around camp, and way too knowledgeable about things like hydration, to go and do something dumb like not drink enough water.

So Alicia pulled up beside the Keko leader.

She lowered her voice.

And she whispered.

"Look," she said, "I know you just voted out one of your friends. I know it, and I understand it, okay? But you gotta get through that shit, Gretchen. Or there's no way you're ever going to be able to make it for thirty-nine days."

Gretchen said nothing. She just continued to walk, head down, as Alicia went into full-on motivational trainer mode.

"I loved Teresa," Alicia explained. "I thought she was one of the sweetest people I've ever met in my life. But we had to vote her out, Gretchen. We had to! The lady could barely walk!"

Gretchen was now slowing her pace a little bit. Apparently Alicia's message was hitting some sort of nerve. So she continued.

"Look," Alicia added, quickly under her breath, "I know you guys had issues with this back on Pagong. I know you hated voting people out. Colby told me all about it. I know you've always hated this part of the game."

Gretchen looked over. And now she nodded. She did hate this part of Survivor. The idea that you had to vote out your friends just absolutely ripped out her heart. And she couldn't help it. That was just the preschool teacher in her. Gretchen and Machiavellian survivalism tended to have a very hard time getting along.

And now Alicia understood.

Now that she had looked into those eyes, and seen the tortured look in Gretchen's soul, Alicia finally understood. Gretchen Cordy just wasn't meant for this game. She was just one of those people, for whatever reason, who just couldn't handle it.

And the minute Alicia understood that, her impatience was gone.

"Look, honey," Alicia said, as she put her arm around Gretchen's shoulders, "I know it's hard, but you have to remember you're not a bad person. You're not a bad person just because you vote somebody out. You just have to remember, that's just part of the game."

"But it wasn't right," Gretchen finally said, "It wasn't right that we dumped her that easily. It wasn't right that it had to be unanimous."

"We had to!" Alicia implored. "And you yourself said it best! Teresa couldn't walk!"

"But it didn't have to be unanimous," Gretchen whispered. She turned and looked at her shorter teammate. "I saw it in her eyes, Alicia. Teresa was crushed that she had to go first. She was crushed that she got seven votes against her. She was crushed that we all ganged up and got rid of her."

"Well what was the alternative?" Alicia asked. "That we split our vote and vote for somebody else too, just to spare Teresa's feelings?" She looked dumbfounded. "Teresa knew she was going. It wasn't a surprise. So what's the difference?"

"I just don't think it had to be unanimous," Gretchen repeated. "I... I... just don't think it had to be seven to one."

Empathetically, Alicia squeezed her teammate's shoulders one more time. She tried her best to show she understood.

"It didn't have to be unanimous," she said, "But it was. Teresa's gone, Gretch, and you have to move on. Because the only thing you'll do if you dwell over it, is drive yourself mad."

"I know," Gretchen muttered. She still looked dejected. "I know it's stupid. I'm just not very good at it."

"Remember, Teresa is going to be fine," Alicia said, supportively, "Look, it's not like we killed her. She just went back to the lodge and got somebody to look at her knee. And right now, she's probably eating potatoes all smothered in butter."

Gretchen smiled, finally. Those were the exact words her brain hadn't been allowing her to hear.

No, they hadn't killed Teresa. All they had done was voted her out. There was a big difference.

Finally, her conscience was going to allow her to reconcile between the two.

"Thanks, Alicia," Gretchen smiled over, gratefully. And already she looked one hundred percent better. The ashen look in her face was pretty much gone. "That's probably exactly what I needed to hear."

"No problem, sweetie."

Alicia and Gretchen walked side by side the rest of the way.

Although, despite the touchy subject, a few minutes later Alicia just had to make one last comment. She knew she shouldn't. But she just couldn't resist.

"Remember, honey, this isn't Pagong."

Gretchen laughed.

Despite her self-imposed melancholy, despite the fact that her conscience was apparently going to kill her out here, all Gretchen could do, at this point, was lean back and laugh.

Because Alicia was right.

This certainly wasn't Pagong.




^^




After her little pep talk with Alicia, Gretchen thought she now had a pretty good handle on things. After all, Alicia had been right. This wasn't life. This was Survivor. And Gretchen had known that going in. She had known it last time in Borneo, and she knew it this time coming back for Hawaii. Ethics and real life and friendship just didn't apply in a game like Survivor. And if she didn't start coming to grips with that, and soon, she was going to get hurt.

But for now, Gretchen thought she had a pretty good handle on the situation.

Survivor wasn't life. Survivor was Survivor.

Teresa and her were going to be remain perfectly good friends.

So Gretchen walked back to camp, and she tried to relax. And she did her best to enjoy the hike. After all, sure this was a brutal walk to Tribal Council and back. And it sure did take a heck of a long time. But it wasn't like they were trapped in the middle of the jungle out here. She happened to be walking along the beach of Ni'ihau, Hawaii! This was one of the most beautiful places on the face of the earth! What could she possibly have to be stressed about at a moment like this?

As she walked, Gretchen inhaled deeply, and took in the sandy-yet-tropical smell of the warm Hawaiian air.

She closed her eyes, and listened to the sound of the waves, as they gently lapped up against the side of the shore.

And she was okay.

Gretchen knew she was going to be fine.

And she was. For approximately eleven more minutes.

Because the minute Gretchen set foot back in camp, she saw a sight that literally broke her preschool teacher's heart. Everything that Alicia had said to her, went right out the window. All the feelings that Gretchen thought she had reconciled, were now back with full force.

Because sitting by the fire, head down, and all alone, was a very sad and dejected looking Ethan Zohn.

And Gretchen's heart went out to him.

Because she knew as well as he did that, after Teresa, he was going home next.

"Hey, Ethan," she said, as she quietly approached the morose looking young soccer player. "Mind if I join you?"

Gretchen was trying to keep her voice down, since most of the rest of the Kekos were probably asleep. After all, Alicia and Gretchen had gotten back here much later than the rest of the tribe. They had been walking together at the back of the pack, way behind everybody else. And Alicia had already said goodnight and gone off to bed.

So that meant it was just Gretchen and Ethan.

The two most sensitive players on the tribe, all alone.

Just sitting here at night, next to the fire, lost in their thoughts.

"I don't mind," said Ethan. He scooched over a little bit on the log, so Gretchen could sit down and join him. And Gretchen could already tell he was a little depressed. The usual zest in Ethan's voice was missing at the moment. He looked tired, and defeated, and frustrated. And once again, her heart went out to the guy.

Apparently this is what you look like when your time here is through.

So Gretchen and Ethan sat together by the fire, in the dark, warming themselves in the impersonal flames. And they didn't say much. Gretchen and Ethan just sat there together. Just listening.

They listened to the crackling of the fire.

They listened to the gentle crash of the nearby surf.

The listened to a flock of birds, who were flying overhead.

And after about twenty minutes of silence, Ethan finally spoke.

"So I know it's me next," he said quietly. He turned to look at Gretchen, who said nothing in response. "It doesn't take an idiot to figure out that when it's six people against two, the second part of the two is the one who goes next."

Ethan, of course, was talking about his role in the dismissal of Teresa Cooper tonight. Or lack of role, if you wanted to get technical. After all, Ethan was the only player on this beach who hadn't been included as part of the discussion plans. Ethan was the only member of Keko who hadn't been asked. Teresa Cooper was going to be voted out tonight, either with or without his participation.

In other words, it was only day four, and Ethan Zohn was already obsolete.

And he was perceptive enough to be able to realize it.

"So when did the rest of you team up?" Ethan now asked. He turned once again to look at her. "And whose plan was it? Was it Colby's?"

"It just sort of happened," Gretchen said weakly.

"So the six of you just decided to all band together and take out T-Bird, then me?" Ethan's voice was now pitched a little bit higher. He was angry. "That sort of thing just happened?" He glared directly at her. "And where was I when all this just happened?"

"Look," Gretchen tried to explain, "People just got together. We were all working together and people started to talk. We started to talk about who we felt the tribe wouldn't be able to lose."

"So I'm expendable?" Ethan countered. "You guys think I'm the next most expendable? Why? Because Colby says so?"

Gretchen didn't really want to get into this. And that was just as well. Because Ethan really didn't want to get into it either. He was too exhausted right now to really get into it with the rest of the Kekos. After all, it's not every day that you're forced to vote out your best friend on the tribe, just because everyone else is. Days like that just weren't the norm in Ethan's life. And truth be told, he was actually kind of happy about that.

"I'm sorry," he said, quietly. He looked over at Gretchen, sheepishly. He hadn't meant to lose his patience with her. He knew that Gretchen wasn't the one he should be directing his anger at. No, the person who was really calling the shots was asleep in that shelter.

And that blowout, if it ever came, would just have to wait.

"You know what I would do if I were you?" Gretchen advised, under her breath.

Ethan cocked one eyebrow at her.

"I'd work your butt off tomorrow," she said. "Just bust your hump from dawn 'til dusk. Make sure people realize you want to stick around in this game."

"I do want to stick around!" Ethan practically yelled. "And I've been doing everything I can just to show you people that!"

"I know," she nodded, sadly. "I know."

This whole conversation illustrated why Gretchen hated this game. And this is why she had always hated this game. Sometimes, Survivor just wasn't fair. Sometimes, no matter how hard you tried, and no matter how much you wanted to win, sometimes the cards were just stacked against you. Survivor was an unfair game most of the time, and she knew it.

Sometimes the good guys just couldn't win.

"Well I'm headed off to bed," Gretchen whispered after a minute. "You going to stay up for a while?"

"Yeah."

Gretchen wanted to stay up and talk to Ethan a little longer. Lord knows he looked so sad that she just wanted to sit here by the fire and keep him company. But at the same time she knew it was pointless. Nothing Gretchen could say, or do, tonight was going to make the smallest bit of difference in this game. Nothing that happened tonight was going to matter.

No, if Ethan still wanted to make a statement to his tribe, if he really wanted to show them all that he had some value to the Kekos, he could do so tomorrow. For now, Gretchen knew she should head off to sleep.

So she did.

Gretchen left Ethan sitting all alone by the Keko campfire.

Alone with his thoughts.

And wondering how, just how, he was going to get out of this.






DAY 4

The sound of a radio being switched on punctured the air at camp Ahi.

Then came the sound of static.

And then, over the roar of the crashing waves, came the cry that would hopefully bring joy and cohesion to the frequently-humorless tribe on the south of the island.

"GOOOOOD MORRRRRRNING, AHIIIIIII!"

Sure enough, it was the Ahi morning show. Well, at least their first attempt at it. It had been the brainchild of Rob and Vecepia, an attempt to bring some levity to their daily camp life, and now it was starting. From this day on, the players on the Ahi tribe would start every morning with a radio show, for better or worse.

It was day four on Ahi, and at the moment things were looking pretty good. Oh sure, the Lex and Sue situation was bound to come to a head pretty soon. After all, the two of them were currently gathering allies like it was nobody's business. But that was just a minor little speedbump for a tribe that, for all intents and purposes, at this moment, did appear to be actually enjoying themselves.

Heck, even Sue appeared to be enjoying the resurrection of the old Maraamu morning show today. And Sue, as most of them had already figured out, normally didn't enjoy anything!

"... And now let's go to our girl on the street, Colleen Haskell, for the entertainment report." Lex was currently deejaying. And he was doing a darn good job of it too. Apparently the man's days as a college disc jockey weren't really all that far behind him. "Colleen, catch us up on all the latest gossip at Camp Ahi. Who's sleeping with who? Who's fighting with who? Do you have all the latest dirt?"

Colleen stood up, and pretended to be holding a microphone. Because even though she was normally very shy and reserved, when they did stuff like this, she couldn't resist.

"Well, Lex," she started, in her inimitable little pseudo-French Miami accent, "As we all know, the biggest gossip around camp is the torrid affair between one Frank Garrison and one Susan Hawk. Those two have been hitting the town quite regularly. They've also been hitting each other. In public. And, might I add, in this reporter's eyes, they should probably go to a motel and try renting a room."

Off to the side, Sue guffawed. Most of the time, she was fairly humorless. But you could always tell when she was laughing, because it was so loud and distinct. And currently, she happened to be loving this.

"Sue Hawk, of course," continued Colleen, "Is famous for her well-publicized affairs with famous men. But only time will tell if she's found true love, at last, with the soft, silent Frank. Lex, back to you."

Of course, Frank wasn't laughing at this. And why would he? The man never laughed. But he did appear to have a slight smirk on the left side of his mouth. And to the rest of the tribe, that counted. That was a smile. And they were delighted.

"I think Frank's blushing," teased Tina.

"Frank is a pimp!" announced Lex. "Frank is the man!"

"Awwwww come on," Sue protested, laughing. "The only pair stickin' it to each other around here are you and Rob, Colleen. We seen you guys. You do it all the time. Just admit it."

"No way!" gasped Colleen.

Rob just smirked and said nothing.

And that's how the Ahi morning radio show went down, on its very first broadcast on the beaches of Hawaii. Lex was masterful in his duties as deejay. Colleen's entertainment report was the highlight of the day. And then, of course, there was Tina's cooking show ("Never make the rice too pasty"), Vecepia's talk radio segment, Sue's hunting tips, Rob's sports recap, and John's Ahi medical report ("Boston Rob got kicked in the head by a donkey today, for the six hundredth time in his young life.") Frank neglected to put together a segment, of course. But he did provide silent, moral support, as usual.

So the Ahis did their inaugural radio show, and they shared a lot of laughs, as expected.

And then it was right back to work.

After all, sure, the radio show might have ended. But that didn't mean the entertainment had to end.

Because its evil cousin-- the "Ahi versus Lex" show-- was about to commence.

^^

If you had sat there and watched the wake-up show at Camp Ahi this morning, you would have sworn you were back in the Marquesas at Camp Maraamu. Because, after all, the important components and people involved were essentially the same.

There was Lex (aka Hunter), the deejay, and camp leader, who was in charge of running the show.

There was Rob, the goofy kid from Boston, who was in charge of tribe entertainment, and sat around with his cap turned backwards, and his buff criss-crossed... always criss-crossed... in an "x" around his elbow.

There was Colleen (aka Sarah), Rob's young female sidekick and companion, who also happened to be, in his own words, a "freebie second vote when we go to Tribal Council."

There was Sue (aka Patricia), who sat off the side most of the time, a little out of her element, but trying her best to laugh and get along with "the kids."

And of course then there was Vecepia. The quiet, sneaky, deceptive one. The religious one. In Survivor, with Rob you always seemed to get Vecepia.

In Survivor, they always seemed to come as a package deal.

If you had asked Rob Mariano what he thought of Vecepia Towery, he would tell you, right off the bat, that he hated her. Rob couldn't stand Vecepia. He couldn't stand her hypocritical ass-kissing ways. And he had absolutely no respect for the way she approached Survivor in the first place. So if you had asked Rob for his opinion, he would flat out tell you that he didn't like her. In his personal opnion, Vecepia's wishy-washiness was transparent, it was obvious, and it was ridiculous.

"She's a nice lady, but she's the worst winner this game has ever seen," Rob would often complain in his interviews. "Vee did absolutely nothing the last time around. In fact, the mere fact that I lost Survivor to Vee, makes me want to go out and shoot myself in the head. And I'm bein' totally serious."

Rob loved to complain about Vecepia. He loved it, loved it, loved it. In fact, it was probably his number one subject in his confessionals to gripe about. Rob would go on and on about how much it damaged his soul that he lost to someone like Vecepia the first time around. And how that mere fact had almost prevented him from wanting to come back and play a second time.

For her part, Vecepia had really never been much of a fan of Rob Mariano, either. But she wouldn't really rail on him behind his back as he liked to do. Vecepia Towery had never been much of a back-biter in her interviews. She wasn't the type to just sit there and talk trash about the people around her. No, the worst she would say about Rob when she was asked was that he "spoke before he thought," and that he often seemed to "lose his way."

Vecepia had never really been a big fan of Boston Rob. But she did have the wisdom that came with age, since she happened to be a few years older. So even though Vecepia didn't really like Rob, she usually attributed his actions to his age, rather than to his personality. She figured that in a few years, when Rob grew up, he'd probably be a little more under control.

"And until then," she'd shrug, in her interviews, "Well mostly you just have to learn to put up with him. With Boston Rob, the first thing you learn in Survivor is to let him take the fall instead of you. Let him take the lead when it comes to being in charge of things. Because you know he won't ever be able to resist."

So Rob was no fan of Vecepia.

And Vecepia was no fan of Rob.

Both of them acknowledged this, and both of them admitted this. Oh sure, they'd be cordial and polite to each other's faces, and they'd laugh and joke around like everyone else. But deep down they were never going to be the best of friends. And both of them knew it. They were just too different in styles and personality to ever really be an ideal fit.

But there was one thing that Rob and Vecepia happened to do together very well.

Not a lot of people knew this about Survivor: Marquesas, but Rob and Vecepia happened to have been a much closer team than most people would had ever imagined. In fact, they had actually been a pretty formidable partnership the first few days of the game. Oh they might not have wanted to be a pairing. If Rob had had his way back in Marquesas, he would have been happy to just fling Vecepia off the nearest cliff. But the fact remained that Rob and Vee had made an excellent team together.

They hadn't wanted to.

But they had.

And now they were together again in Hawaii.

In a situation much like the one they'd faced together before.

"Here's what not a lot of people ever knew about me and Vee," Rob had explained today, in a morning interview. "Vee was probably my number one girl out in Mahquesas. Nobody really knew that, but she was. In fact, if Vee hadn't been workin' with me, if she hadn't been teamed up with me behind the scenes, well, there's no way we ever could have taken out Huntah." He scowled. "I know it hurts me to actually say that, but it's true."

Yes, Rob Mariano and Vecepia Towery had been peas in a pod back on the early days of Camp Maraamu.

They hadn't known each other all that well back then, and they really hadn't even liked each other all that much either. But they had made an excellent team of good cop/bad cop when the time came to take down their exalted leader.

"Okay, so here's the deal," Rob had laughed when he finally explained how everything had really gone down, "We had this guy, Huntah, who's goin' on and on about what a great leader he is." Rob laughed again. He really did love this story. "This moron's goin' on all day about how we're gonna follow him into the merge, and how he's gonna be there right with us. And meanwhile Vee and I just sort of sit there one day and say, "Is he serious?""

Rob would always break down into laughter whenever he regaled the producers with the downfall of Hunter Ellis. In many respects, it really had been one of the highlights of his life. The majestic, and sudden, way Hunter had gone down at the hands of his teammates had been completely unprecedented and astounding. As well as, well let's face it, a little amusing.

"So this idiot starts buildin' himself up like some sorta god," Rob continued, "And meanwhile Vee decides she's gonna just sit there and help him do it. So she starts askin' him all these questions, just to get the guy goin'." Rob was laughing again. "Vee always called it "puffing up." She always said she'd go ask questions to Huntah, just to "puff him up", and just so he'd start goin' on and on about how he was a leader and how he knew so much about everything."

From the very first day Vecepia had started "puffing up" Hunter, Rob had quickly developed a slight, but nevertheless begrudging respect for the way she did things without being caught. Because no matter how often Vecepia did things like this, nobody but Rob ever seemed to notice. Unless you were specifically watching Vecepia and paying attention to her word choices when she talked, you never caught on that she was actually manipulating you.

And of course, as a master manipulator himself, Rob had been impressed.

"I think Vecepia is a phony, and a fraud, and a liar," Rob concluded in his interview. "I don't trust her for a second, and I think you'd have to be an idiot to ever think you could. But that bein' said..."

Rob looked pained to actually admit this.

"Vee and I made a great team last time. Nobody knew we were ever together. Hell, half the time I don't think we even knew we were together. But every time she tried to take down Huntah, I helped her out. And every time I tried to take down Huntah, she helped me out.

Rob shrugged one last time.

"Like it or not, Vecepia and I were a team most of the time in Mahquesas. She was the good cop, and I was the bad cop. And if the two of us ever started workin' on someone, that bastard was gone."

Rob wasn't quite coming right out and saying what he was getting at, but anybody with the slightest knowledge of Maraamu would be able to draw a conclusion from this.

Lex was the Ahi leader, and Lex happened to be a lot like Hunter.

Rob and Vecepia were teammates on Ahi, and both Rob and Vecepia shared a common interest in getting Lex out.

It didn't take a rocket scientist to see where Rob was headed with all of this.

In the next three days, Lex van den Berghe was about to face a brutal game of good cop/bad cop, from the very members of his tribe he was trying to protect. Lex was about to get double-teamed by the lethal manipulative duo of Rob and Vecepia, as they "puffed him up" and tried to get him to hang himself in the exact same manner as poor, misinformed, funnel-constructing Hunter.

Was it going to work?

Was Lex going to end up slitting his own throat?

Was the morning wake-up show about to be topped by a second "greatest hits" moment from the games of old Camp Maraamu?

Rob didn't know.

All he knew was that it was going to be a lot of fun to find out.





^^





After his revealing interview, Rob strolled back to camp. He was in no hurry. Rob tended never to walk very fast. He just strolled lazily up the beach, in his inimitable athlete's walk, as he drew closer and closer to camp.

And there, awaiting him by the Ahi shelter, was a pleasant surprise.

Rob's face broke out into a smile.

Standing next to the firepit were a cluster of his Ahi teammates. There was Lex. And there was Vecepia. And there were Tina and Sue and John.

There were five Ahis, standing all together in a circle.

And Lex appeared to be explaining something to them.

"Oh, man," Rob laughed under his breath. He stole a quick glance at Vecepia, who met his gaze with a wink and a nod. She was doing it. She had already gotten Lex to start lecturing everybody! Vecepia had started the festivities without him!

Rob walked a bit closer, beaming from ear to ear, as he listened to Lex carefully explaining why they needed to keep their machetes sharp, or else they'd dull out. Vecepia had somehow managed to direct Lex into the most banal of tribal conversations, and she'd actually managed to get him into "dad mode" where he started explaining everything.

By this point, nearly everybody on Ahi hated Lex's "dad" voice.

Lord knows Sue hated it.

In fact, that had been Sue's number one complaint with Lex since day one. Sue hated it when Lex started talking to the tribe like the rest of them were all five years old. It was something he did from time to time, and it was something that drove her absolutely batshit when he started doing it. The sound of Lex's lecturing voice was the quickest way to drive Sue (and possibly others) into a homicidal rage.

And Vecepia had known this, of course.

And that's why she had baited poor Lex right into it.

"Hey Lex," Rob mischievously called over, now that he was finally within earshot. "Since you're busy explainin' stuff, what's the deal with the Hawaiian beaches? Why do people always say the surfin's so good here?"

Rob was laughing when he said this, but anybody who knew him could tell you it wasn't a "playful" laugh. That was Rob's "malicious" laugh. After all, he was zeroing in for the kill. Rob was hitting Lex in the one area where he knew the man wouldn't be able to resist a little monologue. Lex couldn't resist a question about surfing. And both Rob and Vecepia instinctively knew it.

Lex, of course, took the bait without a moment's hesitation. He took the bait and, like a good and knowledgeable father, started in on a long explanation about shorelines and windbreaks and lunar pull.

Rob, of course, wasn't listening.

Nor was Vecepia.

Oh, sure, the two of them pretended to listen to Lex's explanation, but of course all they were really doing was watching the reactions of their teammates. Rob scanned the reaction of Tina. And Vecepia scanned the reaction of John. They were watching to see the exact point that people got tired of Lex's stories and started to tune out.

They were watching to see the exact moment when Lex went from "exalted leader", to "know-it-all bore."

Rob and Vecepia hadn't specifically intended to start the "Dethrone Lex" game today. It had basically just happened organically. Vecepia had seen Lex monologuing about some topic or another, and her instincts kicked in, and she went for the throat. And then when Rob came up and saw what was happening, his instincts kicked in and he joined just for fun.

You see, even if Rob and Vecepia didn't quite "like" one another, they knew each other well enough to know what needed to be done. They were inexorably bound together in the game of Survivor, and probably would be for life. So like it or not, whether they actually respected one another or not, for now they were just going to have to get used to it.

Lex might not go down today, but he was going down soon.

Under the combined attack of the two sneakiest pitbulls from Maraamu, Lex's time in this game was destined to be short.

Because the minute Tina, John, or Frank got sick of the man, the minute he lost just one of those precious three allies of his, he would all of a sudden have a target a mile wide in the middle of his forehead. If Lex lost just one ally, the impenetrable wall surrounding him would suddenly be gone.

And the minute that happened, the bastard was screwed.

^^





The first reward challenge in All-Stars took place around mid afternoon on day four.

Frank had retrieved the tree mail over at Camp Ahi, and Kathy and Alicia had brought it back together at Camp Keko. The tree mail had directed both tribes here, to the top of an enormous waterfall, and now they were here.

Jeff Probst stood before the Ahis and the Kekos, and once they were settled, he explained the rules of the game.

"Today's challenge is called 'Up, Up and Away,'" he explained, with his hands behind his back. "You guys will be jumping over this waterfall, down into that cove below." He turned and pointed to a large lake-like body of water at the base of the falls, about two hundred feet below. "Just jump over the falls, swim across the cove to your flag, and the first tribe with all seven people at their flag wins reward."

The Kekos and Ahis oohed and aahed.

Now this was a Hawaiian challenge.

Jumping over a waterfall.

This one sounded like fun.

"By the way, let me point out some of the hazards," Jeff now added. "See those rocks at the base of the falls?" He turned and pointed to some jagged rocks that jutted out where the falls hit the cove. "You don't want to jump onto those rocks, otherwise you're likely to end up pretty much just 'stuff on a rock.'"

A few players laughed.

"Jump into the middle of the cove," Jeff pointed down, "Over there. It's a long way down from here to there, but the water is deep enough to be safe. As long as you jump into the middle of the cove, you'll be fine."

The players nodded. They understood. Jump down into the cove, swim to their flag, and win reward.

Couldn't be much easier than that.

"Want to know what you're playing for?" Jeff asked, with a smile.

He walked over to a large wooden crate, paused for a second, and then opened it.

And there, sitting inside, was the most beautiful sight a man named Richard Hatch had ever seen in his life.

"Fishing equipment," said Jeff Probst. He reached into the crate and pulled out the contents inside. "Hooks. Masks. Bait. Nets. The works."

Once again, the two tribes oohed and aahed.

Of course, the last item that Jeff pulled out from the crate was a spear. A fishing spear. A Hawaiian Sling, to be exact. And you would have had to be a moron not to realize what that meant to a certain player who was standing on the Keko mat.

To one person, that fishing spear, above everything else in this game, represented complete and utter security from the vote for a while.

"Oh great," Lex joked, under his breath to the Ahis, "Ten bucks says Richard just popped a boner."

The Ahis laughed, and so did the Kekos. Hell, even Richard laughed. And why wouldn't he? After all, the minute he had seen that Hawaiian sling, he was as happy as he had been at any point in the last four days. The minute Richard saw his little baby in that box, along with the very real possibility that it might be "coming home to daddy" in the next half an hour, well why wouldn't he be in a good mood?

If Richard got his hands on that little spear today, he was going to be a god among mortals, like he had once been before.

With the preamble taken care of and out of the way, Jeff lined the players up to get ready for the suddenly-very-important quest for Richard's spear. Because nobody was fooling themselves into thinking otherwise. That's exactly what this challenge was today. This wasn't Keko versus Ahi. This wasn't tribe against tribe. This was a matter of if Richard got his fishing spear today, or if he didn't.

Because if Ahi lost this challenge today, if they gave Richard that spear and wide-open ocean, they'd all of a sudden be handing their opponents a sizable advantage.

And that meant that, all of a sudden, this challenge was huge.

"Survivors, ready!" announced Jeff.

Ethan and Rob lined up at the front of their respective mats. They were going to be the first two players from either tribe to leap off this cliff and into that cove. So the two young athletes lined up next to one another, while simultaneously not acknowledging one another, and waited for Jeff to kick off the challenge.

"Let's go, Ethan!" cheered Kathy from the Keko mat.

"Go Rob!" cheered Tina from the Ahi mat.

Jeff raised his right hand in the air.

Ethan and Rob tensed.

And then "The Quest for the Spear" had begun.

"Go!!!!!!!"

Both Ethan and Rob took a running start towards the edge of the waterfall, and then catapulted themselves down, down, down into the water below. The two young men hit the water with a splash. And the Kekos cheered out loud as Ethan was the first to rise to the surface. Ethan kicked his way to the surface, much faster than Rob, and then started the long, arduous swim towards Keko's flag, which sat on a buoy, by the shore.

"Go, Ethan!" Mike called loudly.

Rob Mariano was certainly no slouch in the water, but he just couldn't compare that well against a man who was this possessed with the need to win. You see, Ethan knew his head was on the chopping block next at Tribal Council. After all, the tribe largely considered him replaceable. Ethan knew that if Keko lost immunity tomorrow, he was doomed. So he swam with the fury of a man possessed, much faster than his rival from Ahi, as he cut a neat and clean path through the warm blue water.

Within three minutes, Ethan had reached his flag. His job was now done. The Kekos were winning.

"Go!" screamed Kathy to the next person.

Thanks to Ethan's early lead, the Kekos were going to be tough to beat. And they cemented that fact with their next three swimmers, as first Mike, and then Colby, and then Gretchen, kept up the pace. All three of them leapt over that waterfall into the cove. Then they swam like a champion towards their flag. And after four swimmers down, Keko already had a fairly sizable lead.

"Keko has four down," Jeff announced, once Gretchen had reached the Keko flag. "Four down, and three to go! Ahi is about half a swimmer behind!"

Sure enough, the Ahis were behind. Although it's not like they were lagging. Keko just happened to have much stronger swimmers as a whole. Lex and John and Frank certainly tried their best for the Ahis, but they were simply no match for the Ethans and the Mikes and the Colbys of the world in the water. That was a fact of life the Ahis were just going to have to get used to.

Finally, with the challenge now getting out of hand, Keko sent their last three "cliff divers" into the water, one at a time. And since they had already opened up a sizable lead, this step was now little more than a formality. The Kekos were going to win this challenge today. At this point they could virtually smell blood.

It was now time to finish off the overmatched Ahis.

First came Alicia. She wasn't the strongest swimmer in the world, at least by Survivor standards, but Keko already had such an enormous lead that it didn't much matter. So long as Alicia didn't drown, and she didn't, her tribe was going to win.

After Alicia came Kathy. Kathy, the second to last swimmer for the Kekos, dove into the cove (with a loud "Yeeee-hawwwww!") and swam to the flag without the slightest of problems.

Keko now had six players in the water, all touching the flag.

And that left just one more.

And it was fitting that it was the man who most wanted this.

"Richard is in the water!" Jeff announced, laughing, once the big man had hurtled himself over the cliff and into the cove. "Richard is swimming! Keko is about to win their first challenge!"

Jeff watched from above as the Kekos cheered on their savior and hero. Richard Hatch swam towards his cheering tribe like a fish, completely belying his size and general awkwardness out of the water. And as always, whenever Jeff saw this, he was impressed. Oh sure, Richard might be big and lumbering back on shore, but in the water he just glided along gracefully and effortlessly, like a stingray. On land, he was slow. But in the water, Richard Hatch was a very quick man.

Richard reached his tribe's flag moments later, then surfaced and roared.

He put his hand on the Keko flag, and now it was official.

Keko was victorious.

For the first time ever.

Richard was about to be acquainted with his best friend in this game.




^^

Even though the Kekos should have been thrilled beyond belief that they had just won their first challenge over the Ahis, the mood upon returning to camp was a little bit strange.

Because, yes, it was true that they had won themselves a little bit of momentum in this game. And yes, it was true that they now had fishing gear with which to be able to feed themselves. But at what price would all of this come? What price would the Kekos be forced to pay, now that they had essentially made Richard Hatch invulnerable to the vote for the next few Tribal Councils?

Even in victory, the Kekos straggled back to camp with a curiously foreboding cloud hanging over their heads.

After all, it wasn't often that you voluntarily gave the devil your soul.

Exactly how much was this fisherman going to cost?

"I'll tell you what I think about it," Colby explained in a quickie interview, as he accurately summarized the mood of the rest of the tribe at the moment, "I think it stinks that we won, but it would have stunk even worse if we had lost. We were pretty much in a no-win situation all around, and that's the bottom line."

It was such a queer little feeling around camp at the moment that most of the Kekos didn't know how they were supposed to be feeling. Were they supposed to be thrilled and ecstatic that food would now be pouring in like a bounty from the sea, as Gretchen seemed to be? Were they supposed to be feeling cocky and invincible, with twelve-inch smiles plastered across their faces, as Richard seemed to be? Or were they supposed to have great big dark hollows in the pits of their stomachs, as Mike and Alicia and Colby seemed to have?

What was the proper reaction when you handed Richard Hatch the key to success in this game?

Was there any way to describe that feeling? In English?

The Keko tribe had been back at camp for about an hour now, and their newly-won fishing gear was now leaning up against a tree, untouched. It was much too late to go out and go fishing tonight. The sun would be down within the next half hour. And even Richard wasn't foolhardy enough to go out and tackle the surf after dark. So the fishing gear, including that glistening spear, leaned up against a tree, unused. For now it had not technically been claimed. Oh yes, they all knew Richard was going to claim it first thing tomorrow morning. But at this point in the game, at this specific minute on the beach of Ni'ihau, Hawaii, no one had yet laid claim to be known as the fisherman of Keko.

And if Mike Skupin had any say in the matter, that problem needed to be remedied.

And fast.

"I'm telling you," Mike was currently whispering to Colby and Alicia, as he walked with his fellow decision-makers along the beach, "One of us has to grab on to that spear, and never give it up. One of us has to grab it before Richard even has a chance to stake a claim to it, and go out and catch some fish before he ever gets a chance."

The three members of the tribe, who by all intents and purposes were the true "power core" of Keko at the moment, continued to walk along the beach all alone. Gretchen, who by all rights should have been included in this group, had been deliberately left back at camp and out of this specific conversation.

After all, if Mike, Colby, and Alicia really wanted to make an executive decision tonight, if they really wanted to get that spear away from Richard and out of his hands, well they all pretty much knew that Gretchen wasn't going to be happy about it. If their leader had been standing here right now, as part of this group, she would have simply stated her case, stuck up for Richard, and got in the way.

No, if the tribe was going to start making powerful, game-changing decisions like this, the best thing for everybody was if Gretchen just wasn't involved. God knows they loved her. But if this tribe was truly going to succeed, they were just going to have to go around Gretchen on touchy, emotional issues like who caught the fish.

"So who's going to do it?" Colby asked, as he stood on the beach, hands on his hips. "I don't know about you, Mike, but I aint no spear fisherman. I mean, I'd love to learn. And I'm sure I'd be pretty good at it in time. But there aint no way I'd be able to bring in a ton of fish my first try."

"Not even with practice?" Mike asked.

Colby just laughed. "How many oceans you seen in central Texas, m'man? You think I grew up, doin' this sort of thing for a living?"

Alicia heard this and let out a laugh.

"Fine," Mike just nodded. He appeared to be thinking it over. Colby had never grown up on the ocean, so obviously Colby was out. The learning curve was going to be just too great. So instead, he threw out the name of another possible candidate, just to see how Alicia and Colby were going to react.

"Ethan?"

"No way," Colby shook his head, almost as a knee-jerk reaction. "I'd rather have Richard stick around than Ethan. Because if Ethan makes the merge, if he even makes it that far, you know he's jumpin' sides and runnin' right back to Lex."

"Mm-hmm", Alicia nodded. She felt the same way. If there was anybody around here she didn't want making the merge. it was likable, "I'm friends with everybody in the game!" Ethan Zohn. It was the same reason Ethan had been deliberately excluded and isolated right from the start. His likability, and ability to get along with people, made him far too dangerous in All-Star Survivor.

"Well I can always do it myself, if you guys want me to try," Mike suggested. He looked a little sheepish as he said this. After all, it wasn't like this subject hadn't come up before. Hell, the name "Mike" had been the very first name on his lips when they'd decided they needed a volunteer.

"You gotta be careful, sweetie," said Alicia. "You're already on thin ice with a lot of people. If you walk up and grab that spear first thing in the morning, you're really gonna ruffle a lot of feathers. People already think you're a little bit pushy."

"I don't care," said Mike, perhaps a little naively. "If I end up feeding everybody and coming back with breakfast, no one will care."

"They will care," Alicia said. "Mike, if you take that spear tomorrow, and crown yourself king of the tribe, you know Gretchen's gonna have a goddamn shit fit." She turned and put her hand on the taller man's shoulder. "You played that card way too hard back on day one, Mike, and it almost cost you. One more power grab like that, and you're done."

Colby agreed.

"Don't do it yet," he advised. "Look, Mike, both you and I know you're the man for the job here. But you just don't have the authority yet to be doin' stuff like that. We just don't have the solid majority yet to be able to pull that off."

Colby and Alicia, of course, were thinking about numbers when they said things like this. Because, after all, as of now this alliance wasn't unstoppable. All they really were, at this moment, were a tight a group of three.

On a tribe of seven.

Yes, Colby, Mike, and Alicia currently held a lot of power in this game. And yes, they currently called a lot of the shots. But the unwavering truth was that their threesome still only made up 43% of the Keko tribe. They didn't yet have a solid majority. In other words, there was still plenty that could go wrong if, for whatever reason, they got cocky, played their cards wrong, and "John Carrolled" their way right out of a position of power.

No, it wasn't likely that Gretchen would ever flip on them. Or that Ethan would be able to survive the next vote. But still, they weren't ready to start taking that chance.

For now, the Keko threesome wanted to play it completely safe.

For now, Mike had to stay away from that spear and not ruffle any feathers.

Even if, deep down, they knew that "sitting back and waiting" was going to kill him.

"Well I'll tell you what," Colby said, finally conceding the inevitable. "I'll go out and go fishing tomorrow. I'll get up early, and take the spear, and go catch some fish. And if Richard has a problem with it, well, he can go pout and cry somewhere on the beach. Because, frankly, I really don't care."

"What a good man," Alicia said, teasing him. "You're my hero, Colby."

"Hey, I do what I have to," he joked back.

So that was how the fishing situation was resolved at the end of night four at Keko. Mike was the one who really wanted the job. He was the one who heard that seductive siren's song as much as anybody. But for now, the powers that be had decided the time wasn't right. For now, Mike had to stay away from the spear, and stay away from the dreaded spotlight. Colby was the one who was going to take that Hawaiian sling tomorrow morning, and shut down any aspirations Richard might have had of deityhood at the top of this tribe.

So for now, the problem had been averted. For now, the Keko three had figured out a way to keep the players vulnerable who were supposed to stay vulnerable. They had figured out a way to keep the players strong who were supposed to stay strong.

Richard was going to get a big surprise tomorrow, and odds were, he wasn't going to happy about it.

And as far as Colby Donaldson was concerned, that was perfectly fine.

^^

As dusk turned to night, the happy little Ahi tribe sat by their campfire and talked about what had transpired thus far in the game. The eight players in orange sat around in a circle, happy and content, and talked about what they thought might be going on over at their opponents' camp much further to the north.

"I couldn't believe it when I saw that T-Bird was gone," exclaimed Tina, as she poked the fire with a stick to keep it alive. "Could you guys? I mean, out of all the people there, I figured T-Bird would probably last all the way to the merge."

"No kidding," said Lex, somberly. He, too, had been surprised by the fact that Teresa had been the first casualty over at Keko. And for a man who didn't surprise very often in this game, well that was saying something.

"Why do you think they voted her out?" Vecepia asked, quietly. She looked over to Lex, as if seeking some sort of spiritual knowledge. "Do you think she got sick or something?"

"Beats me," Lex shrugged. "Teresa is a super lady, you guys. I really don't have any idea why you'd want to get rid of her. Especially over somebody like Richard."

Vecepia frowned softly to herself in the dark.

Well that didn't work. Lex hadn't taken the bait on that one.

She'd have to try again in a couple of minutes.

"But wasn't Teresa probably the weakest?" asked Rob. "I mean, wouldn't that be reason enough to want to get rid of her, right there?"

Now Vecepia smiled. Ah, there was her partner in crime. There was the second of Sue's leader-baiting, passive-aggressive little attack dogs. If Lex wasn't going to get hit by one of them, he was bound to get hit by the other. After all, this two-pronged good cop/bad cop type of attack had worked once before. And by the look of strained consternation on Lex's face when he heard the question, well, Vecepia was ready to say it was probably going to work in Hawaii too.

Lex just had no idea what the assassins around here were subtly trying to do to him.

"Look, if I'm Keko, I don't get rid of Teresa," Lex patiently explained. "She may look like the weakest, and who knows, maybe she is. But at the first vote, you do not get rid of someone as capable, and competent as her. You just don't."

Rob smiled in the dark.

And so did Vecepia.

"Dad" mode was here.

The lecture was on.

"I mean, what about you?" Lex turned to his second-in-command, Frank. "Frank, you knew T-Bird a hell of a lot better than I did. Would there be any reason to get rid of her at the very first vote?"

Frank said nothing at first. He just stared at the fire, seemingly lost in his thoughts. And then, just as Lex was ready to move on to someone else, he finally spoke.

"There would be no reason to get rid of her, unless she was hurt. Or maybe sick." Frank continued to stare at the fire as he spoke. "If she was in some sort of weakened condition, then they'd probably be okay with losing her. But otherwise, no." Frank shook his head now, emotionless and somewhat robotically. "No one in their right mind would want to vote off someone like Teresa without a good reason."

Even though nobody on the tribe would have been able to tell in a million years, Frank Garrison actually had been a little shaken up to see his close friend missing at the challenge today. Frank actually had been a little wounded that T-Bird, his beloved friend T-Bird, was no longer there.

Then again, was Frank actually going to admit this to the rest of his tribe?

Hell no!

Frank Garrison didn't like to let people realize he actually had feelings for some of the players in this game. Not all of them, mind you. But some of them. Teresa. Tina. Lex. Pretty much in that order. Those were the ones that he liked.

As for the rest of the players here, Frank didn't care.

But losing Teresa today, well that had been tough.

"I think I'm going to go sleep on the beach tonight," Frank suddenly announced. And as the rest of the tribe looked on in shocked surprise, their big, tough, emotionless hunter now stood up and walked away. Just like that, Frank said his goodnights, and was gone. He was gone to go sleep down on the beach, all alone. Where he could give his proper respects to T-Bird, off by himself.

"Well, I suppose that's as good a place to end off as any," Tina said, in a motherly fashion.

"I agree," said Lex.

"Good night, guys," said a suddenly-sleepy John.

"'Night everybody," added Colleen.

"Good luck tomorrow," said Vecepia.

With that, the seven non-Frank members of the tribe put out their fire, and turned in for the night. One by one they disappeared into the Ahi shelter. One by one, they were slowly swallowed up by the darkness inside.

Well, all of them except for one.

Tina Wesson, who had realized right away that something must have been bothering Frank, waited for everybody to crawl into the shelter before she did what she knew needed to be done. After all, Tina was really Frank's only true friend in the entire game. She was only one out here who could pick up his non-verbal cues.

Lex and Frank? Well they were allies. They were comrades-in-arms. Nothing more, nothing less. Sure, Lex and Frank both respected one another a great deal, both as men and as allies. But they weren't really friends. If Lex didn't need Frank anymore, then Frank would be gone.

But Tina and Frank, well there was a real friendship.

There were two people who really did care about one another in this game.

The moment Tina had heard Frank's emotionless speech about Teresa, she had immediately known that Frank was hurting inside. It was just the way Frank had given that speech, in an even flatter and more emotionless version of his regular monotone. Tina had heard this. Tina had picked up on this. And she had identified the subtle difference almost immediately.

Tina Wesson might not have been the most dominant player in Survivor history, but she certainly was one of the more perceptive ones. No one else had caught that Frank was feeling sad and lonely tonight. No one else had caught that Frank was down on the beach because he wanted to be alone.

But Tina caught it. And Tina felt bad for the man.

So she went down to the beach to say her goodnights.

"Hi Frank," she whispered, once she had gotten close enough to his horizontal form for him to be able to hear her.

"Mmm?" Frank rolled over and looked at her. "Oh, hey, Tina."

"I just wanted to come over and say that I was going to miss Teresa, too," Tina said, quietly. "She's such a nice lady. She probably didn't deserve to go first."

"No," Frank still had that flat look in his eyes. "She didn't."

"Well, I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you," Tina whispered. "You take care of yourself down here by the beach. And if you want to come back up and join us tonight, well I'll save you a little space in the corner. Okay?"

"Thank you, Tina."

With that, Tina was done. She hugged her friend good night, and kissed him on the cheek. And then she came back to camp.

The tiny woman entered the Ahi shelter.

She squeezed in between the much larger forms of John and Sue for warmth.

And she nodded off to sleep.

Tina fell asleep in the shelter, while her best friend Frank fell asleep down on the sand.

Nobody in the shelter had even realized she'd been gone for more than a second.





DAY 5

There was no alarm clock to wake the sleeping Kekos this morning. But when you have Richard Hatch and the threat of an unclaimed fishing spear at your camp, well, sometimes an alarm clock doesn't seem like such a necessity.

As usual, Mike Skupin was up at the crack of dawn. Mike, who was not supposed to be the tribe fisherman, would have been up anyway, since, well, that was pretty much just what he did. Mike and early mornings went together like Richard and nudity. Nobody on Keko was really happy that the two things went together. But eventually you just accepted that, unfortunately, they did.

So Mike was the first one up and ready to go, and he nodded silently to Colby, who was also sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

The two members of the Keko power core had woken up first.

That was good.

And meanwhile Richard... dangerous Richard... was still asleep in the corner all by himself.

That was better.

Mike and Colby, both clad in warm, pullover sweatshirts, silently crept out of the shelter and took a seat on the log that abutted their firepit. Normally this would have been the time that Mike would have thrown on a pot of boiling water, to cook up some rice. But today, he was going to wait. Today, just for today, morning chores would be delayed. Mike wanted the tribe to sleep peacefully, while Colby went out and had a chance to practice with that Hawaiian sling.

"You all set?" Mike whispered.

Colby nodded. Truth be told, he was still half asleep. But, as always, the Colbster was a team player. And if the powers that be wanted to stay the powers that be, he was just going to have to get good at this. Colby was going to have to show Gretchen, and everybody, that they could live out here quite happily without Richard at the helm of that spear. Because the minute he showed that Richard Hatch was actually disposable, well, as you might imagine, the next Tribal Council was destined to be very exciting and memorable indeed.

"Let's get it done," Colby muttered.

With that, the wheels were now in motion. Mike patted his younger teammate on the back, and Colby stood up, ready to go. He stripped off his black sweatshirt. He kicked off his flip-flop sandals. And then he reached down and picked up the fishing spear.

Richard's spear.

Which had now been repossessed by the government of Keko.

"Good luck," said Mike. "Follow the tide."

Colby thanked him, and then sauntered down the beach towards the water. Pulling on the scuba mask which had accompanied the spear, the young cowboy immersed himself in the Pacific Ocean, swam out a little ways, and then he was gone. Now he was just another proverbial fish in the sea.

"I sure hope this works," Mike muttered softly to himself.

"What?"

Surprised, Mike quickly whipped his head around towards the voice. And he was quite shocked to see Ethan stepping out of the shelter, groggy but alert. Ethan's eyes looked puffy due to lack of sleep, but otherwise he looked quite lucid and focused for someone who wasn't normally a crack-of-dawn riser. In fact, Mike was a little confused as to why Ethan was even up at this hour at all.

"Hey, Ethan," he said, warmly. "Welcome to the witching hour, buddy. What're you doing up so early?"

"Oh, I was just hoping to go out and practice with the fishing spear this morning." Ethan said, groggily. "You know, maybe get some practice in before Richard gets up and straps it to his wrist."

It took every ounce of Mike's strength not to suddenly bust out laughing.

Even though most the Kekos desperately wanted Ethan out of here, apparently they had underestimated his instincts for survival. They hadn't realized that Ethan had come up with the exact same plan the rest of them had, all by himself, and all on his own. They had no idea that Ethan had also intended to get that spear out of Richard's hands today, and into his own. Apparently the kid had a lot more fight left in him than people were giving him credit for. Five minutes ago, Mike would have told you he thought Ethan was ready to give up to die.

The great irony, of course, is that if Ethan had been up about ten minutes earlier, it actually might have worked.

"Well I hate to tell you, E, but you just missed it," explained Mike.

"What?" Ethan looked surprised.

"Yeah," Mike nodded, sadly. "I actually came out here for the same reason. I wanted to get up early and catch some fish before Richard had a chance to hog all the glory."

Ethan stole a quick glance at their fishing supplies. Sure enough, the spear and the mask were gone.

"It was Colby," said Mike, anticipating the next question before it came. "Colby got up before me and took off. He's already out there somewhere, swimming around." He pointed in the general direction of the ocean. "Colby got up early and beat the rest of us to it."

Ethan cursed softly under his breath.

Apparently Colby was now going to be the tribe fisherman. His rival, the anti-Ethan, his biggest competition on Keko, was now going to bring back the first basket of fish. And that was even worse, if possible, than if it had actually been Richard.

If anybody had to beat me at this, thought Ethan, Why did it have to be Colby??

"Man, that sucks," he finally said out loud.

Ethan looked depressed.

"Hey, we still have some hooks and some bait," Mike suggested helpfully. "You can take some of those, and maybe go down by the reef. I'd do it myself, but I should probably stay back here and cook up some rice."

"Yeah," Ethan nodded, half-heartedly.

Great. Fishing with a line. That wasn't a glory job. That was busy work. Fishing with a line, in Survivor, was the real world equivalent of flipping burgers. That was the job you got stuck with if you literally had no skills at all.

"Hey, so long as Richard doesn't get the spear," Mike smiled, "That's the important thing, right?"

Ethan nodded, glumly.

Then he scowled.

Then he trudged off with line and bait, obsolete.




^^

It was three hours later, and the Keko tribe was now up and humming, as usual. Breakfast had been eaten, chores had been started, and firewood had been chopped. Richard had dropped trou, showed way too much skin, and grossed everyone out. Above all else, it was pretty much just another normal day in paradise on the beach in Hawaii.

As the Kekos sat around their firepit and discussed whether or not they'd have an immunity challenge this afternoon, all of a sudden a curious object broke the surface just to the west of the their beach. Without warning, a person's head suddenly emerged from the water, popping up out of nowhere, through the gently undulating waves of the Pacific Ocean.

And Richard could only laugh when he saw who it was.

"Hey Colby!" Gretchen called out loudly, "Did you catch anything?"

"You better have some fish on that spear, Donaldson!" yelled Alicia.

Colby yelled something in response to the rest of his tribe, but from this distance they couldn't quite hear him over the crash of the surf. From this far away, it was little more than just white noise coming from out in the ocean.

"What?" yelled Kathy.

"We can't hear you!" called Mike.

Colby now held his right arm up in the air, and the Kekos could see a pair of medium-sized fish dangling from a string. Colby had caught a pair of fish. It was his first time spear-fishing in his life, and Colby had already caught a pair of decent-sized fish!

The Kekos were ecstatic.

"Colby, you rock!!" screamed Kathy.

Colby came walking out of the surf to a hero's welcome, a big pearly smile on his face, as he clutched his first two Hawaiian catches in his right hand. And the rest of his tribe, including Gretchen, came over to congratulate him and admire his catch. Two fish? TWO FISH?? Why, you mix that with a little rice, and that would be about twice as much food as the Kekos had been eating for the first four days of the game. Two fish would almost make an actual meal.

And Gretchen, as the leader, couldn't have been happier about it.

As Colby was congratulated by his harem of newfound fans, a very blase Richard Hatch sat off to one side, looking quite unimpressed. Two fish? He was supposed to be threatened by some yahoo who brought in a pair of goldfish? Richard was supposed to think he was actually being one-upped around here?

Like hell that was going to happen.

After all, Richard had seen that spear missing when he first got up this morning. He had seen it, and he had known exactly what was going on. One of these yutzes had taken the spear before he had a chance to get his hands on it. They were attempting to beat him at his own game before Richard even got to the starting line. Somebody else on this tribe actually thought they were going to play the role of "Richard Hatch," while the real Richard Hatch was sleeping about two hundred feet away.

And if Richard hadn't been so amused by the idea, well, he might have actually felt a little resentful.

Even though Richard had given no impression that he was at all upset by the missing fishing spear this morning, the producers (and people who knew him) knew that he hadn't be pleased. Richard hadn't been pleased, yet he had sucked it up, and put on a happy face for the rest of the tribe, just for the sake of "being Richard."

Richard wasn't going to give these people the satisfaction that they had actually gotten to him.

No, on the spot, Richard had decided to act like he hadn't even noticed.

So Richard had just sat there happily on his log, eating breakfast with the rest of the tribe, not even mentioning for a second that someone else was out fishing with his spear. Richard had just sat there eating, in comfortable silence, while Gretchen, Mike, Alicia, and Kathy tried their best to ignore the very real white elephant that was looming in the corner of the room.

Richard wasn't going to say anything about the missing spear?

Richard wasn't going to even make a joke about it?

Richard's seeming indifference towards the missing spear couldn't have been more shocking to the rest of the players that had been sitting around him eating breakfast. After all, everybody knew Richard was a very possessive person. He was possessive, he was childish, and he was more than a little vindictive. Richard Hatch just wasn't the type of person who you could take his job, and he wouldn't feel threatened. That just wasn't the guy's personality type at all. So they all knew he must have been seething under the surface this morning. Richard had to be furious that someone had dared to go out and fish in his ocean, with his mask, and with his spear. And with his fish!

So the rest of the tribe sat around in stunned silence as Richard just sat there and happily downed a bowl of rice.

He didn't say a word about it.

Frankly, Richard didn't say a word about anything.

All he did was eat his rice, thank Gretchen for the meal, and politely excuse himself to walk off alone down the beach.

That was it.

No outburst.

No catty comments.

No sarcastic jokes about somebody drowning.

Nothing.

"Wow," joked an astonished Mike, once Richard had walked away, "I think someone switched our Richard with Folger's Crystals."

The rest of the Kekos laughed.

Where did Richard disappear to when he headed off down the beach? Well in truth, he had gone off to give an interview with one of the producers. After all, the producers had known Richard far too well to buy the act that he was putting on for the rest of his tribe. They knew that taking away Richard's spear was like taking away Richard's child. There was no way he didn't have some thoughts about this. And, as always, the producers were determined to get them.

"I think it was Ethan," Richard finally admitted, once the producers had cornered him down by the water. "I think Ethan's out there right now, trying to do my job for me."

"Why Ethan?"

"Well because he's the one who needs it the most," explained a clearly annoyed Richard. Then he sighed, visibly. Must he always have to explain it to these idiots? "Without some sort of role around camp, Ethan's gone at the next vote. That's why he needs to be fisherman." He turned and shot an annoyed look at the overmatched producer. "Haven't you guys been paying attention? Without a role, our poor friend, young Ethan, is gone."

Richard really didn't have much more to say to the producers. All he really wanted was to come down here and be by himself and just sulk. So that's what he did. Richard sulked down by the beach for a good hour, and threw himself a nice little pity party to which nobody else was invited.

And then, that being out of the way, Richard finally came back to camp.

Richard came back, and engaged in a casual discussion about whether or not Keko would be competing in some sort of immunity challenge today.

And that's when Colby emerged from the ocean with his "bounty" of fish.

Once Colby came out of the water with his "catch", all Richard could do was laugh. Colby? Colby Donaldson? Some kid from Texas thought he'd be able to go out there and master the sea? Richard couldn't believe it. Seriously, for the last two hours, he had been sitting here thinking that Ethan had been the one out there with his contraband spear. And why wouldn't he? After all, Ethan was clearly the best swimmer on this tribe. Not Colby. Out of all the non-Richard members of the tribe, Ethan was clearly the most comfortable in the water. And Ethan also happened to be the one who would most benefit from acquiring a valuable role.

And now Richard was legitimately baffled.

If that was Colby out there, he thought, Then where the hell is that idiot, Ethan??

Richard looked around the perimeter of camp, but apparently Ethan was nowhere to be found. The only people within eyesight at the moment were Colby, the new hero fisherman, and his adoring throng of groupies, Mike, Kathy, Alicia, and Gretchen.

Ethan Zohn had apparently disappeared.

Richard considered asking what had happened to Ethan, but then quickly realized he didn't care. If Ethan wanted to wander off and make himself more disposable to the rest of the tribe, who was Richard to step in and stop him? Richard didn't care about Ethan. Nor did he really want to.

All Richard cared about at the moment was going out in the water, and showing Keko, and Colby, how it was done.

Now that Colby was back on land, that meant that the spear was once again up for grabs. That meant the spear could now be reunited with its rightful owner.

And that's exactly what happened.

Richard walked over, and he picked up the spear from where Colby had placed it next to a tree. And he didn't say a word to anybody. Richard simply walked over, picked up his spear, and slowly trudged across the sand to the ocean. It was time to show the Kekos how you went fishing.

Oh sure, Richard would freely admit that Colby's attempt at "providing" might have been cute. It was cute, and it had actually been, to a layman, moderately successful.

But Richard would show them how a fisherman caught fish.

Because it was now time for daddy to head off to work.




^^

Around lunchtime, the Ahis and Kekos had figured out that this was going to one of those dreaded "dead days," in which no challenge or Tribal Council would actually take place. Day five was going to be the first dead day thus far in Hawaii, and already the players could remember why they hated these days with a passion.

"Because on dead days, nothing's actually going on," Lex had explained in an earlier interview. "All you have on those days are eight people just sitting around, talking about what's coming down the road. There's not a challenge or a distraction to take your mind off the game, so what happens is you sit there and strategize and end up driving yourself completely crazy."

Sure enough, day five was a dead day, and it happened to be a perfectly apt description for the goings-on down south at Camp Ahi. Because as far as alliances and strategies and loyalties were concerned, there wasn't nothin' happening. All that happened of relevance on day five at Camp Ahi was that the two sides of the tribe started fortifying their positions for the showdown to come.

Lex's side and Sue's side started digging into their trenches, and lining up their chess pieces.

For the battle that was going to happen very soon.

For his part, Lex van den Berghe didn't know that there was a counter-movement actively trying to oust him. At least not yet he didn't. Lex was certainly paranoid enough to realize that someday somebody might want to take him down. But at this point he had still not yet picked up the warning signs of danger.

Right now, all Lex knew was that he had three allies surrounding him he knew he could trust.

He had Frank.

He had Tina.

And he had John.

Together, these four were the true "decision makers" at Camp Ahi. They were where all the power lay, they were the ones who called the shots around camp, and they were the ones who decided who would live and who was inevitably to die.

Lex had chosen this particular foursome because they were intelligent.

Lex had chosen this particular foursome because they were stable.

And Lex had chosen this particular foursome because, above all else, they were loyal.

If Frank, John, and Tina said they had your back, they had your back. And there were just no ifs, ands, or buts about it. If these three people said they were behind you, they were behind you. After all, Lex's gut and inner instinct had told him so back on day one. And, as Lex would be the first person to freely admit to you, his gut wasn't known to actually lie.

So these were the foursome that controlled the game. Lex, Frank, Tina, and John. The Ahi Four.

An alliance of nothing but stability.

Currently, three members of Lex's alliance were sitting on a homemade raft off the shore of Camp Ahi, talking about the game. Lex was currently fishing out here with John and Tina, two of his most trusted allies and friends.

And Lex was being warned that trouble on Ahi was definitely afoot.

"Rob is going to fuck you," John explained slowly and cautiously, as if repeating the message one more time would somehow make it more true. "Rob is going to fuck you. I'm telling you, Lex. I'm telling you. I'm telling you. Rob's not the type of player who's just here for fun."

This was the third time that John had repeated this warning to Lex today. And for the third time today, Lex just shook his head and laughed.

"All Rob does all day is hang out in the water with Colleen!" he said.

"It's an act," John said. "It's an act, Lex, and he's trying to play you. That's what he does. That's all he's ever done. And I'm warning you right now, Lex," John looked deadly serious as he repeated this, "Rob will only lay low for a matter of time. And I know, because I've actually played with the guy."

Lex mulled this over thoughtfully, as he and two of his alliance mates drifted slowly about three hundred feet off shore. Although truth be told, it was still rather hard to take seriously. No matter how many times John repeated this particular warning, Lex still found it hard to believe that it could actually be true.

Rob Mariano? That goofy, immature wiseass kid from Boston? A guy who went by the name of Boston Rob? A potential threat in this game?

Him?

"What do you think, Tina?" Lex turned and asked. "Boston Rob? All a big act?"

Tina thought about this for a second.

"Well, I really think it's hard to say," she said after a short pause.

"Why?" asked Lex.

"Well for starters," Tina explained, in her deliberate sing-songy Tennessee accent. "He usually won't say but five or six words if you ever ask him about strategy. Rob's very tight-lipped when it comes to things like what he plans to do in this game.

Lex nodded. He trusted Tina's opinion. Tina tended to catch things about people. She was very perceptive.

"Buuuut..." Tina started, with a small smile.

And Lex laughed.

"But John also knows him a lot better than I do," Tina finished. "Remember, I only met Rob the same time that you did. So if John says he's acting, I really have no reason to think he's wrong."

Lex was quiet as Tina said this. A small frown on his face, he just continued to stare at the water as she talked. And Tina and John knew the man well enough by now to know he was already starting to think about this.

"If it makes you feel better," John added, "I haven't heard any warning signs that an attack is coming, Lex. I'm just telling you that it will. I know that it will, but I just don't know when."

"I haven't heard anything either," Tina said.

"No?" Lex looked up, and looked optimistically over at her.

"No," Tina affirmed. "And I talk to Vecepia and Colleen on a daily basis. If one of them is planning some sort of sneak attack, well they've sure been able to keep it from me. Because frankly, Lex, I don't think either one of them are really the type."

Okay, that was better. Lex felt a little better once he heard that. After all, Tina was as tight with the females of this tribe as she was with anyone. And if he'd ever wanted a better mole within their organization, well, quite frankly, he didn't think it would have been possible.

"What about Sue?" Lex asked. "Have you picked up any warning signs from her?"

"Sue is a banshee," John said, bluntly. "And she hates your guts."

Lex burst out laughing. So did Tina.

"Gee, John," Tina teased him, "How do you really feel about her?"

"Hey, I'm just saying," John laughed back.

Lex had already known Sue wasn't that big a fan of his. After all, he would have been blind not to see that from the start. Sue and Lex on a tribe together were like oil and water. And he had known that. Of course he had known that. He had known, right from the start, that Sue was an enemy in his game. Why else would he have put this alliance together in the first place?

"Okay, fine, she's a banshee," Lex established. "But that being said..." He turned and looked at John. "Would Sue make a move against me if we went to Tribal Council tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow?" John said. "No. At least, I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Because she doesn't have the numbers yet."

"She doesn't, Lex," Tina reassured him. "There's no way she has Vecepia or Colleen. And she'd need both of them, and that would just be to force a tie."

"You sure?" Lex asked her, warily. After all, he was paranoid. And why wouldn't he be? After all, he was Lex!

"I'm sure," Tina nodded.

Then she reached over and patted him on the arm.

"Don't worry, Lex! If we go to Tribal Council tomorrow, you'll be fine." She smiled at him. "Just remember, you have three solid allies here who aren't going to flip on you. The worst Rob could do, or Sue could do, or anybody could do, is force a tie. You just aren't going to be in danger tomorrow."

Lex just stared at Tina, trying to read her.

He knew he should believe her.

After all, she was Tina.

But at the same time, this blind trust was hard.

"Don't worry, buddy," John said, patting his friend on the shoulder, "We've got your back tomorrow. No matter what Sue, or anybody tries to do, we're here to look out for you."

"And I'll stay on Vecepia and Colleen," Tina promised. "I'll find out anything they know. And if I find out you're ever in danger, I'll get back to you."

"Okay," Lex finally sighed.

Then, sheepishly, he turned and smiled at them.

"Damn, I hate these dead days," he laughed.

As he drifted off the coast of Hawaii with two of his closest friends in the world, Lex van den Berghe said a silent prayer that everything was going to go well tomorrow, and that the Ahis wouldn't have to attend their inaugural Tribal Council.

He didn't want to go to Tribal Council.

Not yet.

He didn't want to go to Tribal Council until he was one hundred percent sure that no harm would befall him.

Because as of this moment, as of this precise moment in the game, even with three ironclad allies surrounding him, Lex was still only at about ninety-eight percent.




^^




Sure enough, Rob Mariano was planning on taking down Lex and destroying his alliance. He had been planning it since the start. He had been working towards that goal since day one. And John Carroll was entirely correct when he kept warning Lex, over and over, that it would be best if he slept with one eye open.

Oh sure, Boston Rob might not have been as obvious about taking down Lex as Sue was. But that was more or less because Sue lacked the capacity to be subtle. What you saw with Sue was almost always, without exception, what you got.

But on the flip side, Boston Rob could be exceptionally subtle if he wanted to. People didn't realize that most of the time, but it was true. Rob Mariano, despite his "lazy slacker" facade, was just one of those people who had the uncanny ability to hide his intentions, and cloak his assassin's dagger, behind a genuinely likable facade of humor and good cheer. It was something he'd done since the very first minute on Marquesas, and it was something he had done since the very first minute in Hawaii.

After all, if Rob hadn't been able to hide his intentions, would Sue really still think this whole thing had all been her idea?

"Sue thinks we're aligned because she wanted it," Rob had explained in a particularly candid morning interview, "But if you ask me, I say we're aligned because I wanted it." He smirked, mischievously. It was the classic Boston Rob I-know-something-that-you-don't smirk. "Remember, just because Sue says somethin', and just because Sue believes it, remember, that don't mean that it's actually true."

In Rob's mind, he had been using Sue's hatred of Lex against her for his own selfish gain. Just like in Sue's mind, she was using Rob's blind ambition to be leader for her own selfish gain.

In Rob's mind, he was using Sue.

Just like in Sue's mind, she was using Rob.

Which one of them was correct?

Did it matter?

As Lex and his brain trust were floating harmlessly off the shore of Camp Ahi, Rob Mariano was currently shoring up three allies of his own. Like Lex, Rob was doing everything he could today, on this first "dead day," to ensure that the pieces were in place should the tribe head to Tribal Council tomorrow.

If Ahi were forced to suddenly vote out one of their own tomorrow, Rob was doing everything in his power to ensure that his army was ready to go.

"But I like Lex," Colleen was currently protesting. She looked incredibly anguished as she said this. "It's stupid, Rob. I don't want to force a tie. Why would I?"

"We won't have to force a tie," Rob slowly explained to her. "Look, as long as we have four votes, we're solid. The best Lex can do, in that situation, is force a tie, right?"

Colleen nodded.

"Well I will guarantee you right now," Rob promised, "That Tina will not want to face a purple rock. There's no way." Rob looked quite insistent as he said this. "There's no way Tina's going home, at the first vote, just because she tried to save somebody. It's not happenin'."

"True, but there's no way Tina would vote against Lex, either," Colleen argued. "She's too close to him!"

"Look," Rob tried to explain, "Voting for someone, and not voting the same way as him, are two entirely different things! Tina can not vote with Lex, and she doesn't actually break her word. Because no matter how you slice it, she's still in the game."

"Well I still say she'll force a tie," Colleen said. "Tina's too smart to just roll over and die like that."

Rob sighed heavily.

He wasn't used to his little sidekicks putting up much of a debate over strategy. After all, Sarah never did this. Sarah had never said so much as "boo" if he ever told her how to vote. All she had done was nod her head, do as she was told, and keep her mouth shut.

And quite frankly, Rob preferred that type over the occasionally feisty, and often difficult, Colleen.

"Look," he now explained patiently, "If Tina rolls over on Lex, she doesn't lose anything. All she's lost is one ally, on day six. She loses Lex, and then she loses the rest of her alliance. But do you think she'd be the first one we'd take out, after Lex? Do you think Tina would be the very next target, after him?"

"No," said Colleen, as Rob's argument now suddenly made a little more sense. "After Lex, it would probably be Frank."

"Screw Frank," Rob laughed. "After Lex, we take out John. We take out John, and then psycho dad Frank whenever we want."

Colleen giggled. Psycho dad.

"Any way you look at it," Rob concluded, "No matter what, Tina is the last person standing in that alliance. If she rolls over and dies on Lex, she still sticks around. She sticks around all the way to the merge. It's just a numbers game. And she knows that."

Now he stared down at the shorter Colleen.

"You say that Tina is too smart to roll over and die," he added. "But I say she's too smart to take a bullet when she's perfectly safe."

"Well, then, you could say the same thing for me," Colleen teased him, playfully. "If I flipped on you, well I'd be the last one standing from my alliance, too."

"Sure," smiled Rob. "But the only difference is that you wouldn't flip."

"Oh yeah?" Colleen suddenly got a very serious look on her face, as if she were bluffing a bad hand at the poker table. "Why wouldn't I flip? What's stopping me?"

"Because backstabbing friends just isn't your style."

Damnit.

He was right.

Colleen hated him, and she hated the way he was going to bully her like this, but damnit if the frat boy was probably right. Colleen wasn't a backstabber. Colleen was a Pagong. She was a Pagong, and always had been, from her head down to her toes. Pagongs didn't do things like backstab their friends. Pagongs played the game with honor. Pagongs were the good guys, and did things with class.

And somehow Rob, devious Rob, had instinctively known this.

"John was right," Colleen said. "You suck."

"Hey, don't blame me," Rob protested, innocently. "I'm just telling you what I know. Don't blame me if you just want to stand there and argue."

"Big bully."

Rob heard the insult. But he didn't care. All that he cared about was that now had two solid votes lined up for Lex tomorrow.

Colleen was in. Because Colleen did what she was told.

That meant it was time to report back to Sue, and get ready for war.

^^

As the first official "dead day" started to wind down on the beaches of Ni'ihau, something odd was starting to take place up at the Keko camp, much further to the north.

Something out of the ordinary was taking place at the moment, even as the day drew closer to an end. And it was the talk of all the production camp once they had noticed it and actually identified it.

And what was this momentous occasion?

The one that even the hardened production crew were surprised and astonished to see?

Ethan Zohn was sitting around and laughing with his teammates at Keko.

For the first time in the game, Ethan was actually being accepted and invited in as part of the group.

If you had asked Ethan to describe his first five days in All-Star Survivor, he would have answered, quite honestly, that it had been "hell." From the minute he had set foot in Hawaii, to the incident this morning, when Colby shanghaied the spear, Ethan Zohn had been humbled and beaten just about as badly as any player had in the history of Survivor.

From the very first minute he'd been on this beach, Ethan had received a first class lesson in isolation and segregation from the Kekos that he was never, no matter how long he lived, going to forget.

On day one, the Kekos had paired off and started on chores. And Ethan had been the only one here who hadn't been asked to do anything. For the first fifteen minutes of the game, Ethan had just stood there, looking bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to go, as Mike and Gretchen had doled out tasks to the players they felt would be much more important.

Eventually all the tasks had been assigned. And then of course, standing on the beach, had been the only man remaining without a job. Ethan.

Hurt that he hadn't been asked to do anything, Ethan had taken it upon himself to go out and chop down some palm fronds, just to make everybody happy. After all, if the tribe didn't have a roof over their head, they wouldn't be able to go to sleep tonight. Right? So Ethan had gone out and spent hours chopping down trees, and had then returned back to camp, to bask in the gratitude he knew would inevitably come.

It hadn't.

If the Keko leaders were thankful for what Ethan had contributed, they either hadn't mentioned it, or they just hadn't noticed.

On day two, Ethan had gone out and befriended Teresa, who, as the only other African alumnus on the Keko tribe, was really the only player here with whom he'd had any sort of pre-existing relationship. Ethan had bonded with Teresa, out of necessity and loneliness really more than anything, and at the time he thought this relationship would be his inroads with the rest of the tribe.

Again, it wasn't.

At the time, Ethan had wrongly assumed that Teresa, more than anybody else, was going to stick around on Keko for a while. And why wouldn't he? After all, everybody loved Teresa. Who didn't love the T-Bird? So Ethan had put all his eggs in the "align with Teresa" basket, and had been crushed when he'd found out that Teresa was the first target of the mythical new Keko alliance.

Frustrated that his only ally was about to be sent packing, and furious that he hadn't even known there was a Keko pecking order until that very minute, Ethan had spent day three rallying in support of his friend. And of course, you can guess how well that had worked. Keko teamed up to vote out Teresa unanimously, Ethan jumped on board just so he wouldn't have to vote for anyone else, and Ethan lost his only ally in the game, along with the idea that he had any control over what was going on around here, along with it.

On day four, Ethan had been the MVP of the waterfall reward challenge. His swimming prowess, and his swimming prowess alone, had propelled Keko to their very first victory, and won them that valuable spear.

But had anybody noticed?

Did anybody come up afterwards, and congratulate him and thank him for what he had done?

Only Gretchen.

And only back at camp, when she was sure nobody else had been looking.

So as you might imagine, Ethan was a little bit soured when he thought about his first four days in hell here in Ni'ihau, Hawaii. After all, he had been negated, and marginalized from the start, by players who were much more aggressive than himself. He had been rendered obsolete, in every single manner possible, and he hadn't seen it coming for a second.

Through the first four days in Hawaii, Ethan Zohn had been handed a grade-A ass-kicking in the game of Survivor.

And it was so much different than Africa that he couldn't believe it!

On day five, of course, Ethan had been a firsthand victim of "Speargate", when Colby had beaten him down to the beach and first claimed the spear. In truth, Ethan should have been a little more upset about this, but since it had pretty much been par for the course, he just hadn't cared. Ethan had just unhappily taken off down the beach with the fishing line, and sulked by the shore.

And that's where he finally had his epiphany.

About midway through day five, as he stood knee-deep in the water off the coast of Hawaii, Ethan Zohn had finally realized why he wasn't succeeding in the game of All-Star Survivor. As he stood there, fishing line in hand, staring at the blue of the Pacific Ocean, Ethan finally understood what it was that was holding him back in this game.

And he could have smacked himself when he realized it had taken him five days to come up with this.

"I was just standing there, fishing pole in hand," Ethan had explained, in an interview about an hour ago, "And I suddenly realized that all I needed to do out here was relax, and just chill out. I suddenly realized that the thing holding me back out here isn't Colby, or Alicia, or whoever it is that's decided I need to be gone."

Ethan frowned slightly as he said this. After all, he was still quite sure that there was some sort of conspiracy behind the scenes to get him out of here. He knew this to be true in his heart, no matter how paranoid or self-centered or Lex-ish it might sound. Somebody (probably Colby) had placed a very valuable bounty on his head. It had happened very early in this game, and Ethan now knew it.

"The thing that's holding me back isn't somebody else," Ethan continued, "The thing that's holding me back is me. Because I've spent so much time sulking out here, and so much time complaining that things aren't fair, and people are out to get me, that I've psyched myself out and actually forgotten to go out and go play the game."

Once Ethan had come to this realization, it had been like a ton of bricks had suddenly lifted off his shoulders and onto the sand. All of a sudden Ethan felt a whole lot better. And a whole lot more foolish about how badly he'd had his face rubbed in the sand by much weaker players.

Holy crap, Ethan suddenly realized. The problem isn't Colby. The problem is me!

The epiphany that Ethan had had on the beach today had been the talk of the production crew all afternoon. Because not only had it been an important moment for a player a lot of them genuinely liked, it also marked a turning point in the way Ethan presented himself to the players (and producers) around him.

Five minutes before the epiphany, Ethan had been sad and mopey. He had been a boring, self-pitying, whiny player, who the producers had recently voted "the most disappointing castmember" in All-Star Hawaii.

But all of a sudden, once Ethan realized he could affect what happened around him, that suddenly changed.

The minute Ethan realized he still had a chance in this game, it was as if a switch had been flipped somewhere inside him. All of a sudden, boring, mopey Ethan was dead. He died right there in the water.

After his now-famous epiphany by the beach, the boring, mopey Ethan was suddenly replaced by a much-more confident Ethan. A more likable Ethan.

The original Ethan.

And as far as the producers were concerned, it was about damn time that it finally happened.




^^

Ethan came back to camp without a single fish.

But he hadn't cared.

After all he wasn't just some Survivor newbie dimwit. He was Ethan "The Survivor Champion" Zohn. He had a million dollars in his bank account. A million fucking dollars! He was a champion! Did they know what that meant? Just who did these upstart Keko assholes think they were pushing around?

So Ethan came back to camp and just sat.

No, he hadn't caught any fish.

Not like he would have shared them anyway.

If he had caught any fish, they would have been his.

No, Ethan had decided that his goal, for the rest of the evening, was to sit here, with his tribe, and be part of the group. There wasn't going to be any more shunning. They weren't going to be able to shut him out any more. Ethan was going to sit here, and joke around with his tribe around the campfire, as if he were one of them.

And Alicia noticed the change in her moody teammate almost immediately.

"No luck with the fishing, EZ?" she asked.

"I think Richard scared all the fish off," Ethan joked. "Hell, he pretty much scared me off, and I was already up on the beach."

Making fun of Richard was always an easy way to bond with the rest of the group. Hell, it's what Keko did most of the time when the guy wasn't around. Whenever Richard had wandered off to do something alone (which was frequently), the jokes around camp were all "fat naked" this and "fat naked" that. The quickest way to bond with the Kekos was to trash Richard Hatch. And now that Ethan was one of them, he thought he'd join in.

"Is Richard still out there fishing?" asked Kathy, surprised, as she sipped from a coconut. "Good lord. He's been out there for like three hours now."

"That's a lot of cold water on that body," Alicia chimed in. "That's a lot of shrinkage goin' on."

Okay, that one got them. Now the Kekos were laughing. Now the ball was rolling on Richard jokes, like usual. Once that started happening, it was bound to go on for a while. So the Kekos did their best to keep the momentum.

"Hey, do you think Richard actually goes hunting naked too?" Mike joked. "Like, if he's chasing around after a pig, do you just see all this stuff bouncing up and down as he's running?"

Even Gretchen, who was stirring a pot of rice over to the side, covered her mouth and laughed after that one.

"Richard's great," Colby chimed in. "Because if he ever just collapses on the beach or something, we could eat him for days. Richard dies, and the rest of us are set."

Now Kathy guffawed. That one got a HAW HAW HAW HAW. Now the Kekos were really going..

"Hey, what do you think would scare the fish more?" Ethan mused. "Richard's junk floating in the water? Or Alicia swimming after them waving a finger?"

Now the Kekos roared.

"Oh, sweetie," said Alicia, a strange little half-smile on her face, "Please tell me you did not just take a dig at me."

"Great," said Ethan, rolling his eyes, "Here it comes, guys. Watch. This is where I get the finger."

Alicia just smirked at him, trying to look like she was angry.

"You want a finger?" she joked. "Go see the proctologist."

"Come on," Ethan teased her, "Just stand up. You know you want to. Stand up and wave it in my face. Pretend I want to save the chickens, and you think I'm an idiot. Pretend you think I'm Kimmi."

The Kekos, even Gretchen, had now erupted into riotous laughter, as former wallflower Ethan was now teasing the one player they knew not to tease. Where on earth did this little outburst suddenly come from? Ethan? Sitting around and laughing with them? Since when?

"Okay, you need some help with the finger?" Ethan asked Alicia. "Fine. This is how it goes."

He stood up.

Now he went into a pitch-perfect imitation of the nasally-voiced Kimmi Kappenberg.

"Alicia, we need protein every day. We need to stay strong every day! I'm dirty and I talk about masturbation every night."

Alicia dropped her head and finally laughed. She couldn't help it.

"Don't you wave that finger in my face, Alicia," the Ethan-Kimmi said, "Don't you do it. Lord knows I wouldn't know what to do if you waved that finger in my face..."

"Ethan, honey..." Alicia finally interrupted. She looked up, smiling, and was wiping her eyes.

"Yes, Alicia, honey?" Ethan mocked her.

"I will... never... wave my finger in your face."

That one brought down the house.

Sure, it might have taken five days. And there might have been a lot of pain and humiliation and isolation along the way. But on the fifth night in Hawaii, much to the surprise of the production crew (and the rest of the Kekos), Ethan Zohn finally broke out of his shell.

He broke out of his shell, he joked around with the Kekos as if he were one of them, and for the first time in the game, he was part of the group.

And as the tribe laughed and joked around him, all Ethan could do was just sit here and smile.

He just wanted to smile.

Because from this point forward, these bastards were going to pay for what they had done to him.





DAY 6

The rains came down hard on the morning of day six.

And, apparently, the Ahi shelter hadn't been ready for it.

Up to this point in the game, the players in All-Star Survivor had all been relatively spoiled, what with the nice weather in Hawaii most of the time. In fact most of them had forgotten how brutal Survivor living conditions could sometimes be. But all that changed on day six, when the skies opened up, and the clouds unleashed hell in watery form.

And Ahi learned that, without rain, how could you say your shelter roof had really been tested?

"Damn it, anyway," complained Sue, as she pulled a pair of waterlogged boots from the soup of their once-standing shelter. She retreated under a tree, along with the rest of her tribe, and did her best to wring out her shoes from their watery state.

The torrential downpour had started coming down around 4:00 A.M. And within half an hour, Ahi's roof was in trouble. Oh sure, it had actually held firm for a while. But after about thirty minutes, with the weight of all that water pressing down on top of them, Colleen had noticed that the palm fronds directly above her were definitely more bendy than they had been before.

And when palm fronds start to bend, you get the hell out of there.

You get out of there, and you get out of there fast.

Colleen had warned the tribe that the roof was about to collapse on them, and the Ahis had scurried out and under a tree with just minutes to spare. Colleen was the first one out, Frank was the last one out, and they had watched, shivering and helpless, as Frank's once-proud edifice soon collapsed under the weight of all that damn water.

"Oh, that suuuucks," Lex said, miserably.

The Ahis, holding one another tightly for warmth, stood huddled under the tree for nearly two hours before the skies cleared up a little and they were able to go in and survey the damage. And of course, Sue's boots were just about all they could find. Nearly everything else they had built, or collected, or created in the first five days of the game were now gone.

Everything that made this section of the beach "Camp Ahi" had now been destroyed.




^^

Keko's shelter, on the other hand, had actually held up against this morning's rainstorm quite well. No, it hadn't completely survived the attack. There was no way a homemade shelter in Survivor would ever be able to completely withstand nature's fury. But the roof had held, and the walls were still here.

And in the world of Survivor rainstorms, that was considered a success.

"Nice work with the roof," Mike had said to Gretchen, appreciatively, once he came out and surveyed how much damage they'd have to rebuild.

Even though the majority of the shelter had been Mike's project, way back on day one, the sturdy bamboo roof had been reinforced and strengthened by Gretchen time and time again over the past five days. Mike had repeatedly told her it wasn't necessary, but eventually, because it was Gretchen, he had learned it was wiser to just get out of the way.

So Mike had sat back and let Gretchen take on the labor-intensive job of reinforcing the roof. And today, much to his delight, the sucker had held. The Keko roof had survived a storm that had completely wiped out their opponents on the south of the island.

And Mike, very uncharacteristically, conceded defeat.

"Wow. You really know your stuff," Mike said to Gretchen, now that the two of them surveyed the damage. "I guess I was wrong. I guess we might have actually needed all that reinforcement after all."

"Why, Michael Skupin," Gretchen said, as she smiled from ear to ear, "Are you actually complimenting me on my construction work?"

"Yeah, but your rice stinks," Mike joked.

And the two Keko leaders shared a laugh.

As Mike and Gretchen set to work patching a few holes that had been caused by the storm, one of their teammates was currently reaching into the treemail box a mile away.

And when Kathy's hand hit something inside, her heart skipped a beat.

"We've got treemail," she said, excitedly, to Alicia and Colby.

Kathy reached into the box again, dug around for the mysterious little object she'd just come into contact with, and finally pulled out a piece of wood that was shaped like a fish. Kathy saw what it was, she read the first four words at the top, and she winced, instinctively and painfully.

"Uh oh."

"What's it say?" asked Colby.

"It's gross food," asked Alicia, "Isn't it?"

Kathy nodded, disgustedly. Great, fafaru, she thought. She stuck out her tongue. Then she read the message out loud.

"Fish, or Cut Bait..." she read.

That was the name of the challenge.

Immunity was once again on.




^^

The two tribes arrived at challenge beach about two hours later, like warriors ready to do battle.

Keko came from the north.

Ahi came from the south.

And now they stood before host Jeff Probst.

Ready to go.

"Man, Ahi, you guys look awful," said Jeff, in his cheesy cowboy hat, as he surveyed the angry and depleted faces of the tribe in orange. "Did the storm this morning not treat you well?"

"Our roof collapsed," explained Frank.

"Did you get a chance to rebuild?"

"Not yet," said Frank. "But we will."

Jeff had intended to ask a few more questions about the glum looks on Ahi's faces, but, instead, decided on the spot that they had probably already been through enough this morning. The Ahis didn't want to talk about their shelter. The angry and exhausted looks in their eyes told him everything they otherwise could say.

Ahi didn't want to talk.

Ahi wanted to compete.

So Jeff decided to just drop the banter and get on with the challenge.

"Today's challenge is called 'Fish, or Cut Bait'," Jeff explained, "And for immunity, today you guys are having a feast."

He grinned.

Every single player on this beach had been through a gross food challenge before.

Needless to say, they identified, and hated, that grin.

Jeff reached under his bamboo podium and came back with a medium-sized glass ball. He pulled a sheet off the top of it, and the players suddenly realized that what he was holding wasn't a ball at all. No, with the dozens of colorful fish swimming inside of it, that was an aquarium.

And when Tina realized what they were going to be eating today, her heart nearly dropped to her feet.

"Sushi!!" screamed Colleen, excitedly, "We love sushi, Jeff! Bring it on!! Wooooo!"

A few players laughed at the joke, because of course Colleen had hit the nail right on the head. The players were going to be eating fish today. Raw fish. Well, raw, alive fish would be the more appropriate definition.

These fish would be going down the hatch, still alive.

And Tina could tell you right now that just wasn't happening.

"As you are all well aware," Jeff explained, "Seafood is an integral part of a traditional Hawaiian diet. After all, since the islands are pretty much just sitting out here in the middle of the ocean, it's not like the native Hawaiians had much of a choice when they were first starting out. In the early days of Hawaii, it was eat fish or die. And, well," he chuckled, "That's pretty much the same choice you'll be faced with for immunity today."

"Those things are still going to be alive, aren't they?" asked a very wary Vecepia. She knew the answer, of course. They all did. But still, until she heard it come out of Jeff's mouth, maybe there was a chance they'd be sliced up instead.

"But of course," Jeff smiled. "You'll be eating these fish frat party style today. Completely alive. And right down the throat."

Over the assorted groans (and a few cheers) of the Survivor All-Stars, Jeff reached under his podium and came up with a pair of wooden wheels. Each one was about four feet in diameter, and contained the names of all the players on either team.

"We'll be spinning for matchups," Jeff explained. "I'll spin the wheel, once for each tribe, and if your name is the one that comes up, then it's your turn to come up and eat."

He spun Keko's wheel once, as a demonstration.

"When your name comes up for your tribe," Jeff continued, "You'll come up here and square off. One person for Keko. One person for Ahi. The two of you will come up and stand before me. You'll take a live fish in a cup of water. And then you'll drink."

He smiled at them again.

God, they hated that smile.

"The first person to get your fish down," he finished, "And the first person to keep it down, wins a point. There's one point per round, and today we're playing best of seven. First tribe to four wins immunity."

So there it was.

It was eat fish or die.

Although there was one last question remaining before they began.

"Hey Jeff," asked Lex, "Can we...?"

"No," said Jeff, cutting him off. "There is absolutely, positively no chewing."




^^




Once the players understood what they would be doing today, and the notoriously finicky Tina nearly passed out from the shock of the task, the two tribes conferred for a moment to talk about strategy. Well, what strategy there was, anyway. After all, how complicated could it be when all you had to do was drink a live fish? How much strategy, or planning, was involved in that?

"We're set," Lex said, once the Ahis were done conferring.

"Keko is ready," announced Mike.

"Good," smiled Jeff.

He turned and faced the wheels, which had now been mounted on two posts on either side of his podium.

"The 'Wiggling Fish Buffet' is open for business," Jeff announced, giddily. "Best of seven wins immunity!"

He reached down and spun the wheels for today's first matchup.

On the left, Keko's wheel clicked and finally stopped on "Gretchen."

On the right, Ahi's wheel clicked and finally stopped on "John."

"Gretchen against John! Round one!" Jeff announced, as the two players smiled and slowly walked to stand in front of his podium. Meanwhile, their respective tribes cheered and hollered behind them, supporting their two champions enthusiastically.

"Take a glass," Jeff said.

Gretchen and John each did.

"Reach in the aquarium and scoop out a fish," Jeff said.

Gretchen and John each did.

"Now on the count of three," Jeff explained, "You're going to tip that glass back and down it goes. Fish. Water. Everything." He paused and looked at them. "You guys ready?"

They were.

"Three!"

Gretchen looked at her glass.

"Two!"

John closed his eyes and said a quick prayer.

"One. Go!"

In one swift motion, Gretchen and John both dumped their fish into their mouth. And in almost the exact same motion, each of them quickly gagged and spit the fish out. After all, eating a piece of fish was one thing. But having an actual live, wiggling, breathing fish in your mouth? Well that was quite another thing, altogether.

"Hey, that's a perfectly good awa fish you spat out there, Gretchen." Jeff teased her. "What a waste. Those things are tasty."

Since neither Gretchen nor John got their fish down on the first try, that meant they had to scoop up another fish and try again. So they did. Once again, Jeff counted down from three. And once again, Gretchen and John chugged a live fish in an attempt to win a point.

And this time, one of them was successful.

"Gretchen!" announced Jeff, as the Keko leader stuck out her tongue to show an empty and quite salty mouth. "Wins the first point for Keko!"

John eventually got his fish down too, but it was just a little too late. Gretchen had won the point, and now Gretchen felt queasy and sick. But she retreated to her mat a winner, and the Kekos cheered on their beloved new champion.

"Keko is up, one to nothing!" Jeff announced. "Next matchup!"

He spun again.

And Tina, of course, was horrified when her name inevitably came up.

Oh, God, she thought. She suddenly felt like she was going to throw up.

"Mike from Keko!" Jeff announced. "And Tina from Ahi! Round two. Come on up, guys."

Mike Skupin, who probably would have eaten an actual person if you had asked him to, strode confidently and cockily up to the podium. And the Kekos roared their approval. There was no way Mike was going to lose this. There was no way Mike was ever going to lose this. Mike Skupin and "eating crazy things" pretty much went together like chocolate and peanut butter.

In fact, Mike was a little disappointed it had only been fish.

So Mike took his place on one side of the podium, and a very tiny looking Tina took her place next to him on the other. It was Mike against Tina. In perhaps the most unevenly-matched showdown in the history of gross food eating challenges. Hell, Mike would probably be able to eat the podium before Tina was able to get one floppy little fish down.

But Tina, ever the competitor, was going to try.

Even if, back at home, even fried fish was a little too exotic for her.

So Tina and Mike stood there, and Jeff counted to three. And just like that, bam, it was over. Tina had tried to drink her little fish. But it had popped right out of her mouth and down to the sand in less than a second.

Meanwhile, Mike had already eaten one live blue opelu and was now reaching in the aquarium to scoop out another.

"Come on, Skupin," Jeff protested. "Stop showing off. You got the point"

The Kekos cheered as their victorious... and perhaps a little crazy... champion ate a second fish. And then he reached in and chugged down a third. Just to make a point. In the gross food challenges, Mike always liked to make a point. So after the third fish, he turned to the Ahis, he smiled, and gave them a wink.

"Psychopath," shot back Sue.

With Keko now up two to nothing, Tina returned to the Ahi mat, feeling dejected. And she apologized profusely to the rest of her teammates. Gross food challenges just weren't her strength in this game, and she had prayed that everyone on Ahi had already known that.

The third matchup of the contest featured a Borneo reunion, as the Stingray himself, Richard Hatch, was selected to come up and square off against the pixie from Miami, Colleen Haskell.

So Richard came up, and he picked a fish.

Colleen came up, and she picked a fish as well.

And Colleen surprised nearly everyone by downing hers first.

"Colleen!" announced Jeff, to the delighted cheers of the tribe in orange, "Ahi is now on the board! They're on the board, and trail, two to one!"

"I love sushi!!!" Colleen bellowed loudly, to the world. "Wooooo!"

Colleen went back to her mat, victorious, and the Ahis were hit with another spate of good news when the Keko wheel selected Gretchen to come back up for round four. According to the wheel, the fourth matchup would be Gretchen (for the second time) against Sue. And right from the get-go, the Ahis knew their truck driving hunter was going to win it.

"I can't eat another one," Gretchen whispered, worriedly, to Mike, once she saw her name come up again.

"Yes you can!" Mike whispered back. "I already ate three! They're delicious."

From the Keko mat, a very worried looking Gretchen now walked up, to square off against a confident, and quite intimidating-looking, Sue.

"Think you can get a second one down?" Jeff asked her.

"No problem." Gretchen lied.

As Jeff counted down from three, Gretchen's mind suddenly flashed back to her last fish, and the wiggling and thrashing sensation it had caused as it slid down her gullet. And that's when the nausea finally came. After all, even though Gretchen had taught wilderness survival for years, there's still a basic human reaction when something live enters your stomach and wiggles around.

The feeling of something moving around inside your stomach is one of the most disconcerting sensations in nature. And the minute Gretchen's body realized it was about to happen again, it rebelled.

Gretchen, her face turning green, now turned to one side and vomited. Meanwhile, Sue Hawk had just downed her fish with ease. Sue tied the game up at 2-2 and now, all of a sudden, Ahi was smack dab right back in this contest.

"Round five!" announced Jeff, as he spun the wheels one more time.

Up came Alicia for the Kekos. And Lex for the Ahis.

And Lex wasted no time in giving Ahi their very first lead.

"Ahi now leads, three to two!" announced Jeff. He watched as Lex went back to a thunderous roar from the now-bloodthirsty Ahis. Lex slapped hands with Boston Rob and Frank. Lex received a great big hug from a delirious John. Now the Ahis could smell blood in the water. For the second time in a row, they were this close to winning immunity.

"Round six!" announced Jeff.

He spun the wheel.

"I need Ethan from Keko," he said. "And Sue, once again from the Ahis." He turned around and looked at both of them. "Ethan and Sue. Please come up, and pick out a fish."

Sue Hawk, who, like Mike, was virtually unstoppable in contests like this, walked up to the podium to thunderous applause. The Ahis cheered and hollered behind her as she removed her sunglasses, placed them on top of her head, and scooped out a fish.

Yes, Sue had already eaten one of these today. But she wasn't going to throw up like that weak-ass Gretchen. Yes, Sue had already eaten a live fish. And yes, Sue's stomach had already been introduced to the unnerving sensation.

But the chance to stomp Ethan on national TV?

For immunity?

Well some things were far more important than basic gastro-intestinal biology.

So Sue stood there and ignored the queasy feeling in her stomach. She stood there and ignored the warning signals that her stomach was sending her, the ones that loudly screamed, "PLEASE DO NOT THINK OF ACTUALLY DOING THIS!"

Sue stood there, and she heard Jeff count to three.

And she was as surprised as anyone when Ethan got down his fish first.

"Ethan!" screamed Jeff, as the Kekos erupted in cheers behind their floppy-haired hero. "Keko has just tied it up at three!!"

Sue had downed her fish as cleanly and confidently as she had the first time around. She hadn't gagged. She hadn't sputtered. She had simply tipped her glass back, dropped the green fish into her gullet, and down the hatch it had gone. Simple as that.

But what Sue hadn't been counting on was that Ethan had needed to win.

Ethan needed to win this challenge if he wanted to stay in the game.

Ethan had wanted and needed immunity worse than anybody else in All-Star Survivor.

And when Ethan puts his mind to something, well, you better look out.

So Ethan, having defeated the unstoppable Sue, went back to his tribe and was engulfed in a bear hug by an ecstatic Mike Skupin. He then received great big joyous high-fives from Alicia and Kathy. Ethan Zohn was officially the hero of the moment among the Kekos, and the great big smile on his face said it all. Ethan was into this.

Now all they had to do was finish Ahi off-- they just had to win one more final round-- and he'd be in the clear.

"Last round," Jeff announced, once Keko's joyous celebration had died down. "It's do or die time guys. The first player to get the next fish down, wins immunity."

Jeff turned to spin the wheels.

And the players waited with breathless anticipation.

Who was it going to be?

Suddenly, before he had actually spun the final wheels, Jeff turned back to the players, and made them an offer. All of a sudden he gave them a choice. And it was a big one, too. This was a choice that could possibly have great repercussions in tonight's Tribal Council.

"Okay, here's the deal," Jeff explained. "For the final round, for all the marbles, I'm giving you guys a choice." He paused, and then put one hand on Ahi's wheel. "You can either have me spin the wheels, and let random fate decide who's coming up here. Or you can pick."

"Pick?" asked Lex, confused.

"Yes," nodded Jeff. "If you guys prefer, you can each pick your strongest member to come up and square off. The best player from Ahi, against the best player from Keko. Mano a mano, head to head, for all the marbles." He paused, dramatically. "If you guys would prefer to settle it like that, well that's what we'll do."

Quickly the Ahis looked over at the Keko mat.

And they all locked on one particular player.

If the two tribes settled this thing mano a mano, if they really settled this via "best of the best", well, it was no question who Keko's best player was going to be. After all, there was only one raging sociopath on that green mat at the moment.

His name was Michael Skupin.

And, quite frankly, the Ahis wanted no part of him.

"Uh, we'll take the wheel," John laughed, to which several of the Ahis laughed behind him. John had made that decision without much counsel from the rest of his tribe. Not like they would have argued much. Sure, Ahi had Sue and Lex. But Keko had Mike.

And Mike was crazy.

And they all knew you never challenged crazy in a battle of wills.

"Ahi chooses the wheel," Jeff announced. "So what about you, Keko? Do you guys agree to settle this challenge through random selection?"

The Kekos took a moment to confer about this decision. And even though they would have loved to just send Mike up there and end this for good, deep down they knew they'd never be able to convince Ahi to go mano a mano. Mike was just too scary and Mike was just too intimidating.

Besides, pointed out Gretchen, Mike had already eaten three fish, and he wasn't a robot. She knew firsthand how hard it could be to walk up there and try to eat again. So Gretchen said she was fine with random selection, and Colby concurred.

"You have to look at the odds," Colby murmured softly, as the Kekos had huddled in a circle. "They got two people on Ahi who probably won't get anything down. And that's twenty five percent of their tribe." He counted the two weakest Ahis off on his fingers. "Tina, already we know about. She's pathetic. And Rob, who we all know is weak."

"Rob is weak," Kathy confirmed. "He can't eat anything slimy. Never could."

Kathy, of course, had been there when Rob had puked up the fafaru.

"So you got a quarter of their team who can't get anything down," Colby explained. "And then you got Vecepia and John who, quite frankly, I don't see winning this thing. So you got fifty percent of their tribe who probably can't beat anybody on Keko. And I don't know about you guys, but with odds like that, I'm gonna hit."

Colby's argument was convincing, and made a lot of sense, so the Kekos decided to go with random selection, just like the Ahis.

Keko and Ahi had now officially decided to let fate decide the course of this game.

So Jeff spun the wheels.

And the warriors were randomly chosen.

"Kathy from Keko!" Jeff announced, "Against Vecepia from Ahi! Ladies, please come up and stand before me. The two of you are deciding immunity."

Kathy, who of course was still quite furious with what Vecepia had done to her a few months ago in Marquesas, glared directly at her Ahi rival as she strode forward and took her place in front of the podium. And it surprised her, too, since Kathy was not normally an angry person. Normally, Kathy was not the type of person who held grudges or made enemies in her life. That shit was far too un-zen for someone like her. Making enemies, and holding grudges, well that just wasn't Kathy.

But now that she was standing here, facing off against the one person in the world who she really didn't like, well, Kathy was angry. She was. She didn't like the feeling at all. In fact, she actually hated it, to be quite honest. But it was there, and she couldn't deny it.

Kathy was standing next to Vecepia, and Kathy was pissed.

It was like God was giving her one second chance to somehow even the score.

"Good luck, Kathy," Vecepia smiled, innocently.

Kathy said nothing.

She just raged.

"Okay, ladies, this is for immunity," said Jeff.

He watched as Kathy and Vecepia took a glass and each scooped out a small fish from the dwindling aquarium. And he could feel the tension in the air. Oh man, if this wasn't good TV, he didn't know what was. Kathy against Vecepia. One of the biggest rivalries in Survivor history, and here they were squaring off, for immunity, in All-Star Survivor.

It was Kathy against Vecepia.

For pride.

And immunity.

And, depending on who won, maybe a little revenge.

"I'm counting down from three," Jeff explained, "And on my go, it's down the hatch." He paused. "Are both of you ready?"

Kathy, to his right, looked focused and determined.

Vecepia, to his left, looked serene and quite calm.

"Three!"

The Kekos cheered to one side.

"Two!"

The Ahis cheered to the other side.

"One!"

The women tensed, and gripped their cups, and waited for that right hand to fall.

"Go!!!!!"

In one quick gulp, the victor had been decided, and the showdown between Vee and Kathy was finally complete. Kathy came out shooting for revenge. Vee came out wanting to delay the Sue vs Lex war for a couple of days. And in the end, calm won this time over angry revenge.

Vecepia downed her fish first, and won immunity for her tribe.

There would be no revenge on the beach in Hawaii tonight.

Vecepia had won the second battle in the war against Kathy.

And Keko was going to Tribal Council, for the second straight time.

^^




In a perfect world, Gretchen Cordy would have wanted Ethan to make it past Tribal Council tonight. Heck, in a perfect world, she would have been right there alongside him helping him out.

But, alas, this wasn't a perfect world.

This wasn't utopia.

This was Survivor.

And that's why Gretchen told him no when he asked her to help.

"I have to vote for you tonight," she explained to Ethan, once he had let up and finally allowed her to explain her side of the story. "I have to write your name down tonight, Ethan, because there's nobody else here I think we can lose."

"That's a total crock!" Now Ethan was back to badgering her. It was all he had been doing for the past twenty minutes since they'd gotten back to camp. "You mean to tell me that we can't lose Alicia tonight? Or Kathy??" Ethan looked incredulous. "You'd be willing to say that Alicia or Kathy bring more to camp right now than me?"

"Look, Ethan," Gretchen lowered her voice a little, so that no prying ears could her them. "I already told you. I'm not voting for Alicia or Kathy tonight. I voted for Teresa the first time, I voted out a woman who shouldn't have gone home, and I hated it."

She paused, took a deep breath, and now looked at him.

She wanted to make sure this next point came across very clearly and deliberately, for a reason.

"Teresa shouldn't have gone at the first vote," Gretchen now admitted.

"You're right."

"But she did," Gretchen continued. "She did, and I hated it. I hated how it went down. I hated how she didn't have a chance on this tribe. And I hated how I had a part in it, just like everyone."

"That's what I'm saying!" Ethan excitedly jumped in. "If you vote with me tonight, Gretchen, you won't be taking a part in the group mob mentality! You won't be doing what "the group is doing", just to say you all joined together in culling the herd."

"No, that's not it," Gretchen shot back at him.

Ethan just stared at her. Apparently, he didn't quite yet get what she was trying to say.

"Look, Ethan," Gretchen sighed, "I voted out a woman the first time around, and I don't have any plans to do it again anytime soon. So I'm not going to vote for Alicia or Kathy tonight. I'm sorry." She looked directly into his eyes. "You can beg and plead and coerce me all you want, but I'm not voting for a woman tonight, and that's pretty much final."

"Well then what about Richard?"

Gretchen looked absolutely aghast.

"Did you see how many fish Richard brought in this morning?" she asked. "Ethan, did you actually sit there and see him dump a whole basket of fish out on the ground?"

Ethan scowled. Of course he did.

He had seen Richard outfish Colby yesterday, six fish to two. And then of course he had seen Richard show off by catching an entire basket of fish today, and then ceremoniously dumping it on the ground at Gretchen's feet.

Yes, Richard catches a lot of fish, Ethan thought to himself, sarcastically. So why don't we just build a statue out of him and just get it over with?

"So you'd never vote Richard out?" Ethan asked. "Ever?"

"I didn't say that," Gretchen sniped. "I just said... not now."

"Well then, when?"

"I don't know," Gretchen said, dismissively. "Soon. But just not now." She paused for a second, then added, "Look, Ethan, when I feel that our food needs will be met without Richard Hatch, I'll be the first one to write him a death warrant. I promise you. But since that's certainly not the case at the moment, I won't vote him out."

"This is bullshit," Ethan countered. As always, he looked incredibly frustrated. "Let me get this straight. You won't vote for Kathy or Alicia, because both of them are women. You won't vote for Richard, because he brings in all the food. And you won't vote for Mike and Colby, because in your mind, you think they're irreplaceable. Is that it? Do I have everything correct, from your point of view?"

He stared down at the maddeningly black-and-white minded Keko leader. Whereas he once thought that Gretchen's maternal nature was going to help him get out of this vote tonight, he was quickly realizing, unfortunately, that "maternal" and "set in stone" could quite easily, and frustratingly, co-exist.

"That's pretty much it," Gretchen admitted.

"So I'm the only person you are willing to vote for? I'm the only person that, in 'Gretchen-world', we can lose tonight at Tribal and it won't hurt the team?"

"I told you not to take it personally," Gretchen started. She was beginning to feel a bit defensive over this. "Look, Ethan, you asked who I was going to vote for, and I told you you didn't want to know."

Ethan just nodded, still frustrated and angry over this.

"If I could think of a good reason to vote for anybody else," Gretchen continued, "I would. But I can't." Now she looked like she was about to start tearing up. "Ethan, you know I hate the way you've been treated around here. And you know I've gone out of my way to make things a little easier."

Ethan nodded. "You have."

"But this is a horrible game designed by horrible people," Gretchen tried to make a joke. "You know I hate voting people out. And you know I always will. But the fact remains that I have to vote somebody out tonight, and that person pretty much has to be you."

Ethan, while somewhat touched by Gretchen's sentiments, was still too much of a competitor to really feel heartened by all of this. Great. So one member of the tribe felt guilty about the railroad job he was about to receive tonight.

Pardon him if he weren't doing backflips down the beach right about now.

"If this were a perfect world," Gretchen concluded, "I'd be able to do something to save you. But I can't. And I won't." She nodded and looked up at him. "And you'd do the exact same thing if you were in my shoes. For me, all I care about, at this moment, is the good of my tribe."




^^





A few days ago, Gretchen's resounding "NO!" would have been enough to send Ethan screeching to a halt in the self-pity zone. After all, she had been as blatant as blatant can be about the fact that she was going to be voting for Ethan at Tribal Council tonight, and everybody else on the tribe was pretty much going to, too.

A few days ago, this kind of news would have sent Ethan off pouting along the beach, in a pity party the likes of which had never been seen.

But that was the old Ethan.

The loser Ethan.

The Ethan standing here on day six wasn't going down without a bit of a fight.

It was this attitude, this revenge attitude, that directed Ethan to the one man on the tribe whom he thought he'd never align with in a million years. It was this fighting spirit that directed Ethan towards the one man on the tribe who, by all rights, already should have been gone.

After Gretchen shut him down so convincingly, Ethan simply shrugged his shoulders, walked down the beach, and went to see Richard.

After all, as a distraught and frightened Kathy had discovered three days ago, sometimes the only person who can save you is the devil himself.

Why did Ethan choose Richard to come to for help?

Well mainly because, without Gretchen's assistance, Ethan didn't have a chance to survive the vote tonight. He knew it. The producers knew it. Hell, everybody on Keko knew it. The more powerful members of this tribe had been ganging up on Ethan since day one, and, as of this point, they had backed him into a corner from which there was no obvious means of escape.

Ethan had hoped that Gretchen might throw some sort of bone to him today.

But she hadn't.

And that having failed, he got more desperate, and a little creative.

That's how Ethan Zohn ended up standing before Richard Hatch, and begging for help, in a Don Corleone-esque exchange of pride for security. Ethan wasn't quite on his knees (after all, in front of Richard, that would have been a little bit weird.) But there was no doubt he was begging in front of a man who did so enjoy to be begged.

And, needless to say, Richard was tickled pink when he saw Ethan... pure, sweet Ethan... was coming to talk to him.

"I need your help in taking out Colby," Ethan quickly got to the point.

"Colby?" Richard was legitimately surprised. That certainly wasn't the name he had expected to come out of Ethan's mouth. He had expected some name to be named. After all, why else would Ethan be here, otherwise? But "Colby" certainly wasn't the name he'd expected to hear.

"Colby." Ethan confirmed.

"Well, you know," Richard reached up to scratch his beard, and appeared to be a little confused, "I'm not really sure I have that sort of power around here, Ethan. I mean, maybe I could probably pull some strings and get something started. But it would be a lot easier if you said someone like Kathy. Or Alicia." He turned and looked down at the cute, naive, young, beautiful soccer star. "But I'd guess that Colby would be the hardest one to get out of here out of anyone."

"Gretchen won't go for Kathy or Alicia," explained Ethan. "She says she won't vote out another woman tonight, no matter what."

"Oh yeah," Richard scrunched up his a face a little bit, "I forgot she's one of those. She's one of those moralists."

"So it has to be Colby," Ethan repeated.

Richard took a moment to give a once-over to his eager young floppy-haired friend. Did Ethan really expect he would be able to take out Colby Donaldson at Tribal Council tonight? Did he really expect to pull off a frontal assault on the golden boy mascot of the golden boy tribe? Was Ethan really that naive, or perhaps that stupid, that he thought an attack on Colby this early was going to work?

Curious, Richard took a glance at Ethan's determined face one last time.

And decided that, yup, this guy was serious.

Totally serious.

Ethan was determined to take out his rival.

"Well let's just say," Richard surmised, just to test the waters, "That maybe I could get one or two votes for Colby tonight. Before we go any further, let's just say that, on the off chance, maybe I could."

"Okay, Kathy is one," Ethan smiled, "Who's the other?"

Damn, Richard thought. Okay, maybe the kid really has been paying attention.

"Look, I'm not gonna name names," Richard laughed and slapped Ethan playfully on the shoulder. "What do you think I am, suicidal? But let's just say I could swing two votes, and we go in four strong against Colby. Let's say I do that, just out of the goodness of my heart."

Ethan laughed.

The goodness of Richard's heart.

There was an oxymoron if ever he'd heard one.

"Let's say I do that," Richard explained, "So then what then is in it for me?"

"A position of power," Ethan said. "A seat at the head of the table."

"Oh, baloney," Richard laughed. "You're so full of kaka, Ethan. If I did that, if I really tried to turn the tribe against Colby, I'd be biting the very hand that, right now, is trying to feed me."

"Gretchen," said Ethan.

"Well yeah, her," smiled Richard, "Among others. After all, it's not like she's the only one who's keeping me around. What, do you think that I'm only safe tonight because of luck? That the Kekos just 'want' me here?" He looked amused. "You don't think I have anything to do with being a valuable member of this tribe? You think that shit is just luck?"

"Look," Ethan warned. "If Colby ever catches more fish than you, you're through. Gretchen even told me so herself. The minute Colby replaces you, the minute he turns you into another "Ethan" the tribe can do without, you're gone."

"If Colby ever catches more fish than me," Richard snarked, "I'd quite happily take my own life."

Ethan ended up spending about thirty minutes on the beach with Richard, trying his best to convince him that a Colby-less tribe was beneficial, and good strategy, for everyone involved. But as convincing and eager as Ethan could be when he put his mind to it, Richard just simply wasn't buying.

Yes, it would be nice if Colby wasn't nipping at his heels as tribe fisherman.

And yes, it would be nice if such a well-liked and respected golden boy were out of the game.

Yes, both of those things were quite true. And Richard knew it.

But why make a run when the votes were impossible to get?

"Look, Ethan," Richard finally concluded, "Colby is going to vote for you tonight. So is Mike. So is Alicia. And so is Gretchen. Those four votes, without fail, are absolutely set in stone. Can't be changed."

"All we need to change is one."

Richard, at an uncharacteristic loss for words, simply sighed.

God bless Ethan's adorability.

You just had to love him, didn't you?

"Well I'll tell you what," Richard finally said, conspiratorially, under his breath, "How about I go make some inquiries, and talk to some people, and see if it's going to be possible. How about I test the waters, and see if there's a crack we can somehow exploit?"

"All we need to change is one," Ethan repeated.

Richard just smiled, and patted him on the back.

God bless Ethan's enthusiasm. And God bless Ethan's blind faith. And God bless Ethan's ability to strive towards a goal that no way in a million years was ever going to happen.

Above all else, Ethan was cute and adorable.

Richard sure was going to miss him.




^^

The Kekos arrived at Tribal Council about two hours later, just as the sun was beginning to set over the horizon to the west.

One by one, the seven members of the tribe walked in a single-file line through the doorway, took their places behind the iridescent volcano, and sat down.

It was their second consecutive trip to the place that Ethan joking referred to as "The Enchanted Tiki Room."

And Jeff wanted them to know, right from the start, that they didn't belong.

"Keko," said the exasperated host, once the green tribe were all quiet and sitting in their seats, "What are you guys doing here? Why the hell are you guys at Tribal Council for a second consecutive time?"

"We're here because we lost," Colby admitted, flatly. "We're here because the Ahis beat us today."

"But weren't you guys supposed to be the favorites in this game?" Jeff asked. "Wasn't Keko the tribe that was going to be impossibly hard to beat?"

"I still think we're the favorites," Colby added, confidently. "Look, Jeff, just because you lose two challenges, it doesn't mean the game is over."

"No, it doesn't," Alicia piped in, as she slowly shook her head to his left.

"Well from where I'm sitting," Jeff smirked, "Colby, you guys are going to be cut down to six tonight. Correct?"

"Yeah."

"You guys are going to be down to six," Jeff continued. "And Ahi, well they're still going to be sitting pretty at eight. And I don't know about you guys, but I haven't seen a whole lot of Survivor tribes come back from being down by two after the first two votes of the game."

"Well," smiled Colby, "Maybe we'll just have to be one of the first."

"What about you, Alicia?" Jeff turned to look at her. "Do you think you guys are still technically really the favorites in this game?"

"I never said we were the favorites," Alicia said.

"Well no, not you specifically," Jeff conceded, "But through the first few days of the game, that's all I heard from you guys. All I heard was how Keko all got along. And how Keko got all their tasks done. And how Keko had all the great athletes."

"Which is all still true," Alicia nodded. "All of that is still true, Jeff. Nothing has changed."

"Except for the fact that you've lost immunity twice in a row, and are going to be cut down to six."

Alicia just smiled wryly at Jeff as he said this. Sure enough, he was right. Alicia would have loved to argue and say he was wrong, but of course, he wasn't. The Kekos might have still thought they were essentially God's gift to the game of Survivor. But that didn't negate the fact that, in a very real sense, they were losing. They were losing to Ahi right now, and they knew it.

"So how do you right the ship?" Jeff continued. "Mike, what do you guys need to do to get this ship back on course, and get back in the game?"

"Well for starters, we don't feel like we are out of the game," said Mike.

"Well, you're down eight to six," Jeff said, "At that point it's really just a matter of semantics. So how do you plan to vote tonight?" He stopped, and gave a big, long dramatic pause. "If I'm Mike Skupin, and I'm sitting here at Tribal Council, how do I cast my vote tonight, in the hopes of getting this tribe back in the game?"

"The only thing you can do at this point," Mike explained, "Is to stay strong. The only thing you can do on day six is to keep Keko strong, and hope you aren't voting out someone who can't be replaced."

"Ethan, do you agree?" Jeff now turned to the black sheep of the tribe, the pariah, sitting all by his lonesome back in the corner. "If Keko is going to win this game, do you think the only chance you have tonight is to vote as a group, and keep the tribe strong?"

The rest of the Kekos sat in silence as Ethan took a moment to mull over the question.

Down in the front right corner of the Keko bench, Richard Hatch smirked softly to himself and looked at the ground.

Richard had greatly enjoyed Ethan's attempts to get the vote swung around towards Colby today, as if it such a thing would even be possible. Ethan had been so insistent about it, and such a little Boy Scout in his unbridled enthusiasm, that Richard hadn't had the heart to tell him that Colby wasn't going anywhere, and he'd just have to deal.

Despite nearly four hours of Ethan working people over today, and begging and pleading that Colby had to be the one to go home, it seemed to Richard that Ethan had never actually given up. It seemed to Richard that the world's oldest Boy Scout had never quite gotten the hint that he was the one going home tonight, and nobody else. And that fighting it, and denying it, was pointless.

And that's why the answer that came out of Ethan's mouth nearly knocked Richard right out of his seat.

"If Keko wants to get back in this game," Ethan finally said to Jeff Probst, very slowly and very deliberately, "The only way we're going to do that is if we get rid of the cancer that's been holding us back."

"And what is this 'cancer'?" Jeff asked, smiling, somewhat mockingly.

"His name is Richard Hatch," Ethan explained. "And if we don't vote him out, we're all going down."

What?

If he had been the type of person who whips his head around in surprise, well, Richard pretty much would have whipped his head around in surprise. That certainly wasn't the answer he had expected to come out of Ethan's mouth. After all that time today spent going after Colby, after all that time spent pleading and whining that Colby had to go, Ethan was going to turn around here at Tribal Council, when it counted the most, and go after Richard?

He thought he could take out The Stingray??

Richard just stared at the floor and silently smirked to himself as Ethan went on a blistering diatribe about how Richard was dragging them all down, and how Richard was up to no good, and how Richard was lazy and selfish. Richard just sat there, and said nothing, as Ethan hammered on point after point about how no tribe in All-Star Survivor would ever win with Richard Hatch on their team. And he went on for so long that there was no way this hadn't been rehearsed.

And all Richard could think when he heard this, and not without admiration, was, "Ethan, you sneaky little bastard. You were thinking this all day, and deep down I thought you just wanted help?"

"Just look at it from a karma point of view," Ethan finally concluded his attack. "Do the rest of you guys really want to say that Richard was on your tribe, and you all let him stay? Do you really want the world to think that you had a chance to take out the most notorious villain in Survivor history, and you didn't do it? What do you think that will say about all of you?"

In truth, Ethan really hadn't intended to turn on Richard tonight and call for his head.

In truth, Ethan really had intended to aim for Colby tonight, who was, after all, a much more valuable target.

But eventually, he had finally realized it was pointless. At a certain point before Tribal Council, much as Richard had said earlier today, Ethan had finally realized that Colby was way too entrenched in the power core of Keko, and wasn't going anywhere. So Ethan had instead turned his attack towards the big man, as a last ditch resort. All he was doing right now was trying to stay in the game.

Ethan really had no problems with Richard Hatch as a person. Truth be told, he actually found Richard's "I'm too cool for Survivor" act a little bit cute. But it was going to be Ethan or Richard tonight, and Ethan was long past having a problem with that.

And it surprised Richard immensely to hear that Ethan was, incredibly, not all that bad at Survivor.

"Okay, Richard," Jeff now turned, to face a smiling and somewhat sheepish-looking Richard Hatch, "I know you have something to say here. What do you say in your defense, now that Ethan has basically called you the Anti-Christ."

"Did he?" Richard tried his best to look confused. "I really hadn't been listening. Is that what he said?"

"What's your reaction, Hatch?" Jeff didn't always play along when Richard got cocky.

"Well, my reaction..." Richard leaned back and sighed, "Is that you should always consider the source." He wasn't about to lean back and make eye contact with Ethan. Doing something like that would just signal weakness. Richard never acknowledged when another player had actually damaged him in this game, and he wasn't about to start doing it now. Richard just kept his eyes straight ahead, said what had to be said, and didn't elaborate.

"Consider the source?" asked Jeff. "Meaning what?"

"Well Ethan is going home tonight," Richard explained, "And he knows it. In fact, he's already expressed this to me, several times. He's doomed tonight, the rest of the tribe wants him out, and he doesn't accept it."

"So in your opinion," Jeff paraphrased, "Ethan knows he's going to be voted out tonight, and he's just taking one last shot at you just to throw off the vote."

"Were I in Ethan's shoes tonight," said Richard, "I'd probably be doing the exact same thing."

"Well what about it, Ethan?" said Jeff, turning to face the back row. "What do you say to what Richard said? Is this just a last ditch attempt to save your own neck? Or do you really believe that Richard is some sort of a cancer, and will kill the tribe from within?"

"Look at it this way, Jeff," Ethan stared at the host from under his mane of black hair. "How many challenges have we lost so far? Two?"

Jeff just nodded.

"Well how well do you think we're going to do if we all of a sudden lose our best athlete in most of the challenges? Do you honestly think that this tribe can all of a sudden go on a winning streak, after they lose their best athlete? Are we suddenly going to get a lot better if we take out the guy who wants to win these challenges as much, if not more so, than anyone?"

Out of the corner of his eye, Richard suddenly noticed that somebody was nodding.

Now Richard did whip his head to the side.

And there was Mike.

Nodding.

Mike was agreeing with Ethan's "Don't take out your athletes so early!" childish argument.

Shit!, thought Richard.

"You know, Gretchen," Jeff said, in response to Ethan's comments, "Ethan makes a pretty good point. Because from where I've been sitting, he has been one of your stars in the challenges."

"He has," agreed Gretchen.

"So do you think that it's wise to take out a guy who's probably the best on the team when it comes to fighting and taking on Ahi in the challenges?"

All of a sudden, now there was another head nodding among the Kekos.

Now Alicia was nodding.

Richard saw Alicia agreeing with Jeff, and all of a sudden, he was the slightest bit worried. Because if Mike agreed with Ethan's logic. And if Alicia agreed with Ethan's logic. And if Ethan agreed with Ethan's logic...? Well right there that was three votes. And that left only one vote the guy needed to sway...

"Look Jeff," Ethan finally piped up, one last time, "I just have something to say to the Kekos, right before they decide to vote me out tonight."

"By all means," said Jeff, conceding the floor.

Ethan, fully determined, now stood up.

And faced the six other members of his tribe.

"Look, guys, if you really want to vote me out tonight," he started, "Then I can't do anything to stop you. If you really think that Richard being around camp is better than me, well then by all means, be my guest. By my guest, and watch what happens in the upcoming days."

The Kekos remained silent. No one said a word as Ethan finished the little soliloquy he'd been formulating in his head for the past forty minutes.

"Mike, Alicia, Colby," he continued, "I know that Gretchen won't vote for Richard tonight. She's said it to me, I'm sure she's said it to you, and we all know where she stands when it comes to this issue."

Ethan paused, then turned to direct the next part of his speech at Mike.

"Mike, let Gretchen do what she wants. Let her stand to one side and watch Richard take the tribe down. Let her play her own game. But, Mike, the three of you don't have to sit there and go along with it."

Mike said nothing. He just silently nodded. Because deep down, he knew that Ethan was right.

Ethan then turned to direct the next part of his argument at Colby.

"Colby, you know as well as I do that Richard Hatch is a cancer. You've told me yourself. You've said you wanted him out, too. So all I'm asking you tonight is to finally get up the nerve and just do it. Just go up to that booth, just write down the name "Richard." And you know as well as I do that this tribe will remain strong all the way to the merge."

Colby just looked down at the ground, and stayed quiet. As always, the best poker player on the tribe simply gave away nothing.

Then Ethan turned to direct the final part of his speech at Alicia.

"Alicia," he said, "Look, you and I haven't been all that close out here. I know that, and I accept that. In the real world, you and I are probably never going to be friends."

Alicia just stared at him, and said nothing.

"But you know as well as I do that this tribe will be a hell of a lot stronger with me here instead of Richard. You know that, Alicia. You know that."

Alicia now lowered her head and looked at the ground.

And Ethan had her.

He knew it.

He had her.

"All I'm saying to Keko tonight," Ethan concluded, "Is that if you want to vote me out, vote me out. Vote me out, and watch what happens. Vote me out, and see where it leads you. Keep Richard around, and slit your own throats."

"Okay, Ethan..." Jeff tried to butt in.

But Ethan wasn't done.

"Vote me out, and watch what happens!" Now he was practically baiting them. "Watch what happens! Kick me out, and watch what happens when you lose!"

Ethan, who was now quite worked up over this, finally wrapped up his speech and sat down. Now he was spent. He had said exactly what he had wanted to say. He had warned the Kekos that if they kept Richard Hatch, they were cursed. And now he was quiet. Ethan was quiet, as were the other six members of his tribe.

Nobody was entirely sure what they were supposed to say.

"On that note," Jeff finally said, once the smoke had died down a little bit, "I think we should vote. Gretchen, you're up."





^^





One by one, the Kekos walked up to the podium, to cast either a pro-Richard vote, or an anti-Richard vote. Because that's really what this was. They either wanted Richard Hatch to stick around another three days, or they didn't. It was really as simple as that.

Of course, Gretchen's vote hadn't changed. Ethan could have stood up there, ranting and raving, and turning blue in the face, and he still would have gotten her vote. Gretchen simply held up a vote for Ethan, shrugged sadly into the camera, and uttered five little words as her reasoning.

"Same reason," she said, "Richard is valuable."

After Gretchen came Colby.

Then Kathy.

Then Richard.

Richard, the fourth member of the tribe to vote, held up his own vote for Ethan, and just laughed at the fact that tonight's vote might actually be a little bit interesting. Richard still didn't think he was going home tonight. He felt that Ethan's speech had been good, if just a little too late.

But Richard had been tremendously impressed.

"What can I say?" Richard said now, as he held his vote for Ethan up towards the camera, "Ethan, you're going to go home tonight. You're going to lose, but that doesn't make you a loser. You showed everybody you had a big set of brass balls tonight. And, you know, from one winner to another, you actually sort of made this a little bit fun."

Richard put his vote down into the box, and not without sadness.

If only Ethan had done this a few days before.

After Richard came Ethan, who, of course, cast a "right back at ya" vote right back at Richard. Nothing personal. After all, it was going to be one of the two of them tonight. Ethan hoped it would be Richard. He hoped it would be Richard with every fiber of his soul.

But, still, he knew it would be a bit of a miracle.

"If I don't go home tonight," Ethan said to the camera, "I hope Richard wins. I hope he wins, and he shoves it all in their faces." Then he smiled, sarcastically. "But we're all still friends. Nothing personal."

The final member of the tribe to vote was Alicia Calaway.

The tough-talking, tough-acting personal trainer was the sixth, and final member, of Keko to approach the podium.

And if Ethan was expecting a bit of a miracle tonight, well, he was suddenly, and partially, there.

Because Ethan was not the name that Alicia wrote on her parchment paper.

The name that Alicia wrote, the name that Ethan had eventually convinced her to write, through his speech, was actually "Richard."

Richard Hatch now officially had more than one vote in this little ballot box.

And now this reveal could actually be fun.

^^




A few minutes later, Jeff approached his podium with the ballot box between his hands.

It was time to see if Ethan's last minute speech had actually done any good.

"The person voted out tonight," explained Jeff, "Must leave the Tribal Council area immediately." He paused for a moment, and then reached into the box to grab the first vote.

A split second before Jeff pulled out that first ballot, Richard finally turned and made eye contact with his much younger rival in the back row. Richard and Ethan locked eyes for a second and, just for a second, they shared a small moment.

Richard shook his head at Ethan, sadly, as if Ethan's pathetic effort had somehow amused him.

And Ethan just shrugged, apologetically, as if Richard's feelings were hurt because Ethan had targeted him.

It was just one small moment, one tiny little moment in All-Star Survivor, but Ethan and Richard shared it together. They shared it without anybody else on the set noticing. Heck, the cameras didn't even catch it. The moment between Ethan and Richard was just a silent show of respect, a moment of communication between champions and players who knew.

And then the votes were up and it was back to the game.

"Richard," read the first vote that came out of the box. That one was Ethan's. And it wasn't a surprise.

Richard, as always, said nothing.

"Richard," read the second vote that came out of the box. That was Alicia's. And that one was a little surprise.

Again, Richard said nothing. He just stared at the urn and tried to look smug.

But now came the third vote.

Now came Mike's vote.

And when a third "Richard" came up, there was suddenly a murmur.

"That's three votes for Richard," Jeff announced, as the Kekos squirmed in their seats and started to make noise.

Nobody had expected Ethan to sway two votes tonight. Nobody. But that's exactly what had happened. Ethan had somehow convinced Alicia, as well as Mike, to switch their votes and take out Richard tonight, on principle alone.

Nobody had expected Ethan to swing two votes tonight.

But now it had happened.

And everyone waited on pins and needles to see if a fourth vote was waiting inside.

The Kekos, including a very surprised and shocked Richard, were on the edge of their seats as Jeff reached into the urn and pulled out the fourth vote.

"Ethan," it read. That was Kathy's. And that was number one. Kathy wasn't going to vote for Richard. Richard was technically her meal ticket. If Ethan had wanted her to change her vote, well he had another thing coming.

Then came another "Ethan" vote.

That was Gretchen's, and that was number two.

And then, finally, came the third "Ethan" vote.

That one, an expected one, was from Richard.

As the tribe waited in breathless anticipation, Jeff put down the third Ethan vote and paused for a second. After all, he knew this was a glorious moment. Nobody had expected it to be a 4-3 vote tonight. Not even the production crew had expected this to be anything but a 6-1 yawner.

But now it was tied.

Between two players who had never been voted off before in the history of Survivor.

And Jeff smiled as he watched Ethan and Richard both squirm in their seats.

"That's three votes Ethan," Jeff explained, "And three votes Richard. One vote left."

In all the years he'd spent hosting Survivor, Jeff had never felt quite the same anticipation at Tribal Council that he felt at this exact moment. After all, there were six players in this room (along with countless members of the production crew) who were dying to see what would happen if Richard Hatch were actually voted out of the game of Survivor.

As Jeff reached into the urn, the anticipation in the room was almost visibly electric.

Cameras whirred, and shutters clicked, as Jeff pulled out the vote that had the potential to dethrone the king.

But just like that-- as quickly as it had built-- that anticipation and excitement were gone.

Because Jeff turned Colby's vote around.

And it was, very predictably, the name of his rival:

"Ethan."

Colby Donaldson, moreso than anybody else in the room, just sat there and smiled.

"That's four votes, Ethan," Jeff said, as the energy was suddenly sucked out of the room and right out the door. "I'm sorry. Please bring me your torch."

Disappointed, but still incredibly pleased with himself, Ethan received a congratulatory handshake from Mike, and a big, proud pat on the back from the big man himself, Richard Hatch. Richard had been a little bit shaken by how close that had actually been (even if he'd have difficulty admitting it in a couple of hours), but for now he was just happy to have survived.

So Richard congratulated Ethan and told him "Nice job." He shook the man's hand and patted him on the back. And then Ethan Zohn was officially gone.

His torch was snuffed and he was out of the game.

And the Kekos were now down to six.

"Well," smiled Jeff, once the room had recovered from the shock, and the energy was back to normal, "I'm sure that vote was a little bit more exciting than a lot of you probably expected."

"Nah," scoffed Richard, which drew a few laughs from the suddenly-drained tribe.

"But I guess this is where we find out how prophetic Ethan's words are going to be," Jeff continued. "On his way out, you heard what he said. He told you guys, vote me out, and see what happens."

A few of the Kekos nodded.

"Well you did vote him out," Jeff nodded.

He smiled.

"Now I guess we'll just see what's going to happen."

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