Early Show Transcript
March 6, 2004
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QUESTION: When Emma offered to vote out Ryan, why didn't you do that?
BETH: One thing to remember in the telling of Okinawa is that editing comes into play. Isabella, as I understand
it, had submitted a confessional where she wanted to “whisper” that Ryan was the target to Matt and I at the TC,
but ultimately decided not to. So in the story, where Isabella came down to the beach and said, “Ryan”, that didn’t
really occur. I didn’t know going into that TC that Isabella still wanted to vote out Ryan, which was really a
moot point because I would not have believed her at all. And, if Matt and I had indicated that we would have voted
Ryan, Michelle still would have been voted out: 1 vote Ryan (Isabella); 2 votes Beth (Michelle and Mike); and 3
votes Michelle (Beth, Matt and Ryan).
Also, before going to TC, I probably talked with Isabella for a number of hours. I was extremely rude and obnoxious
to her (which is why she decided not to whisper to us at TC). I was so hurt and betrayed by Michelle and Emma’s
actions that I totally lost my cool. (I’m still sorry Isabella!) During the course of my internment at Camp Hell,
all the Kamiyans referred to “Emma” as puppet-girl (as evidenced in the story with Ryan talking to puppet-Emma).
I let Isabella know that this is what they all said about her. I don’t think she believed me at the time, but it
was the truth.
There was something freeing about being totally screwed – I had nothing to lose. And, Isabella was also the only
person to even talk to me after that IC, other than Matt.
QUESTION: What was the fight with Mike all about?
BETH: The fight with Mike started because he was whining to me again about Matt and the gnome. I was very,
very tired to have to keep hearing about that. Mike finally told me that because Matt and I were originally Sato,
we couldn’t be trusted.
Mike also had been telling me for at least a couple of weeks that he was working with Ryan to get oldKamiya back
together at the merge and that I was targeted next to be voted out. Why Mike thought I’d just take that laying
down, I’ll never know.
I told Mike to never, ever come to me again with a deal or anything. Right after the fight, Mario was online and
I told him that I had just blew it. *smile* Mario’s response? He loved drama.
I felt basically, that Mike was extremely hypocritical in his dealings with me and I got to the end of my rope
– and hung myself *grin*.
During the fight, I came down really hard on Mike. I so ticked off I couldn’t believe it. All-in-all… not very
smart game playing on my part.
*smiles* But, as people found out… a pissed Beth was a very ugly thing.
Check my board after my Early Show and I’ll post a transcript of the fight… and perhaps other transcripts as well!!
QUESTION: Can you please explain the symbolism behind the "presents"?
BETH: Sure. My original quote in the game was “Thank you for fucking me. But if I’m going to be fucked,
I’d like to be wined and dined first.” When I came up with the idea of doing the carvings, it was Beth standing
up for Beth. I wanted everyone to know that I knew what was going on and that I wasn’t just their little patsy
to play with.
QUESTION: Looking back on the game, is there anything you would have done differently?
BETH: I think the one thing I *might* have done differently is realize that Survivor is an individual game.
I was playing for others (as well as myself), instead of furthering myself in the game. I was extremely loyal.
But all in all, I’m okay with how I played the game. I played hard and did not play to tear people apart. I did
play with my heart, and I’m good with it.
QUESTION: Is Michelle nearly as witchy as she is in these stories? I don't think I'd like to get within
a 40-mile radius of her. She's got quite the sadistic streak.
BETH: Yes! Michelle is a big part of the reason why I ALWAYS referred to Kamiya as Camp Hell. I disliked
her intensely throughout the entire game. Even when I had “supposed” alliances with her, I detested her. Michelle
had a huge evil streak running through her and it was obvious that she really enjoyed the part she was playing.
The day after the fight between David and Ryan, several e-mails went flying - mostly from Michelle. I was surprised
(because I had only known Michelle for two days) at the tone, language and content in those e-mails. I read them
with some dismay. Michelle's anger was a sight to behold.
There were several instances of Michelle just flying off the handle, and I’d be watching thinking, “Oh boy... here
we go again!”
Outside the game, I really don’t know enough about Michelle to tell you about her.
QUESTION: Why did you guys trust Ryan over "Emma"?
BETH: When we got ready to go to TC, right before silence I was talking with Ryan. During that short conversation,
I *knew* that Ryan would vote the tie. I also knew it wouldn't last, but that was beside the point because Michelle
would be shaking over the tie.
Emma never got the chance to ask me to continue to vote for Ryan. In fact, she told me that she’d be voting for
me.
And while I knew that Ryan would tie that vote, I also never trusted him either. Matt and I had tons of conversations
about how vile the Kamiyans were and that we had no trust in any of them.
QUESTION: If you would have merged, what would have happened, and what would the boot order have been like?
BETH: If I had made the merge and Michelle voted out instead, I absolutely would have gone back to the oldSatos
– if they would have had me, that is. So it would have been 5 oldSatos to 4 oldKamiyans – excellent in my opinion.
Matt, Amy and I would have also controlled the majority at oldSato, though by that time Amy was awfully close with
Lance and Hogan, so there is no telling how things would have played out.
My perfect boot order would have been: Mike, Ryan, Joni, Hogan, Lance, with the F4 being Emma, Matt, Amy and me.
QUESTION: In the game, would you have ever turned on Matt or Amy?
BETH: I had considered what would happen once we got to the F4. I had wanted the F4 to be Matt, Amy, me,
and Emma. I *had* wanted to have an F2 with Emma - as backup. I had an inkling that Matt and Amy may stick together
and would want to go against each other in front of the jury. But, for the most part, never would I have turned
on Matt and Amy, especially at the position of the game I went out in. I also had an F2 with Amy. Matt and I never
formalized our position with each other, surprisingly enough. In talking with Matt it was in terms of getting back
with Amy and seeing what we could do after the merge.
I would love to say that I would never have turned on Matt or Amy, but the truth is that I don’t know. At the point
where I went out, the answer is an emphatic NO. I would not, and did not, turn on either of them.
In fact, at newKamiya, that was one of my biggest mistakes. I was playing to get both Matt and I to the merge,
instead of making sure I made the merge. I never thought of ways to ensure my safety, I only thought in terms of
“Matt and I”. If I was anything, it was extremely loyal.
When we got to newKamiya, the only thing that kept me sane was Matt.
QUESTION: What would be your ideal tribe of 8?
BETH: Wow … I’ve actually thought about this one a lot! At the very beginning, just based on our trial posts,
I wanted: Emma, Amy, Elisabeth, ME, Mike, Chris, D. Roth and Ryan. During the game I wanted: Amy, Elisabeth, Emma,
ME, Matt, Ryan, Mike and Lance. Post-game, my perfect tribe would have been: ME, Emma, Amy, Dani, Ryan, Matt, Murtz
and Lance.
Pre-game I really liked those seven people’s postings and the “tone” of their post. They sounded like fun.
During the game I wanted those seven people based on what I had seen of their gameplay.
Post-game – that tribe would have been FUN!
QUESTION: It seems that Mike is the biggest enigma in this game. Everyone seems to have constant changing
opinions of him (and I think that may be part of his strategy). After carefully reading 7 episodes, I still can't
get a sense of what he's really like, so help me out: What is Mike like?
BETH: This question is tough for me. When the three Satos were first switched over to Kamiya, the very first
chat I had was with Ryan, Michelle and Isabella. They totally trashed Mike. Based on that, I was ready to like
him. When I first began talking with Mike, we connected on many levels. I liked the guy. I just had no idea that
everything he said to me was a lie.
The fight I had with Mike was my breaking point with him. I know Mike has stated that his gnome was only strategy,
but I think it was more than that. Our fight started because Mike was whining about Matt and the gnome again. I
can’t tell you how tired I was of that damn gnome and Mike blaming everything on Matt. I was defending Matt in
that fight and Mike then told me that because Matt and I were originally Sato, there was no way we could be trusted.
It was also in this fight that Mike told me I was targeted to be voted out next. Because of Mike, I knew many,
many days in advance that I would be going.
Mike also broke an extremely personal confidence. It had absolutely nothing to do with the game, which is why it
didn’t show in the episodes. Mike used that confidence against me in the game.
I think Mike wanted to be liked and respected by everyone and wanted to think of himself as the nice guy. Had Mike
started out on Sato, the “nice” tribe, he probably would have played the game a lot differently. But as it is,
Mike was not the nice person in the game. And unfortunately, I think Mike enjoyed some of the evil things he did.
But I could be wrong about that, as I have been wrong once or twice before!
So, I think that Mike wants to be thought of as a player with heart, but the truth is... he showed very little
of it.
QUESTION: Looking back on it all, do you feel that perhaps at the end, you played a little too emotionally?
BETH: LOL... ya think? Yes, I played emotionally. I’m not sorry about it though. Part of my emotions were
that I was very loyal to my alliance. Part of my emotions were that I didn’t want to hurt anyone.
QUESTION: Have you ever made up with Michelle? Do you even want to?
BETH: After the game was over, and we were able to talk to everyone again, I waited for two days for Michelle
to talk to me. She didn’t. So finally, I talked to her and sort of forced her to talk to me. I was way over the
hurt by that time – but she didn’t know that. Michelle told me that she was reluctant to talk to me because she
didn’t know what kind of reception she would get. We mostly buried the hatchet at that time.
I, obviously, do not agree with her gameplay at all. I think it was unnecessary – and she made it personal in many,
many ways. Michelle was not a nice person to be in the game with and is one of the main reasons I was interned
in Camp Hell.
While I don’t think Michelle and I would ever be great friends, I did want to remain on reasonable terms with all
the cast. Michelle also has apologized to me for her actions in the game. I choose to accept that apology. She
also has said that whatever I say about her here, she probably deserves. So she gets some points for self-awareness
that she was a bitch. *grin*
QUESTION: Beth, what are some of your favorite moments from the game?
BETH: Some of my favorites times were spent with Matt on newKamiya! We had a lot of fun together – mostly
trashing the other Kamiyas. Before the switch, on Sato, we also had quite a few songs that would be around all
the time. Matt was forever singing “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen. And, of course, Matt’s favorite song … “Mrs. Robinson”.
And since one of my life mottos is “Life IS a musical”, Amy’s name became an instant song, “Once in Love with Amy”.
Also, on Sato, during Halloween, we were all posting ghost stories and urban legends, I had a great time with those.
Basically, any time spent with Sato was my favorite. But the single most stand-out moment was the bbq! Camp Hell
was so… well, hellish, that I longed for someone nice to be able to talk to!
QUESTION: Why did it seem like you were never making alliances in the game?
BETH: Ah, the damn editing thing. One of the things the story doesn’t show were all the alliances being
made once I arrived at Camp Hell. The very first few minutes, Ryan approached me to help vote out Mike. I wasn’t
stupid – I agreed! The only thing Ryan asked from me was to not force a tie vote. I agreed to that as well – thinking
to myself, hell I won’t have to force the tie … Matt and David will.
One thing I was very careful about – always when talking to people in the game – was to watch my words so I wouldn’t
have to lie. Isabella came up with a perfect name for it “word-weaving”. David and I called it conversation judo.
So that was the first alliance – with Ryan.
The next alliance... heck, let me show you my answer to a TC question .. it will answer this perfectly!
Well, here’s the thing... Michelle and Ryan came to Matt and me to form an alliance with the specific result to
vote out Mike. That was the goal. That was all Ryan wanted to do – was vote out Mike. We heard eloquently about
how much Mike - and the damn gnome – was hated by all. And then Michelle told us that DaveR was going to smash
the thing to smithereens, except he got switched to Sato too soon. Since Mike had just screwed Matt and me over
royally in the last vote by voting out David, this was pretty easy for us. Michelle and Ryan really played on that
with us. The times being desperate, we took that alliance and agreed to vote out Mike. But, it was Michelle and
Ryan’s alliance and they came to Matt and me. Mike came to me with a plan to force a tie, too. Matt, Mike and I
were all to vote for Emma. While Michelle, Ryan and Emma would vote for whoever. Then Ryan started in with his
game of he no longer trusted Michelle and that he thought Michelle was in with Mike. And at that point, Ryan pretty
much blew his lie and I caught him red-handed at it. He told me that Mike had gotten to Michelle to throw a challenge
– only it wasn’t possible for Mike to have talked to Michelle about that particular challenge. Michelle was in
silence to all of us. So, then Michelle comes to me and says “something isn’t right in Denmark”. I’m like no kidding.
And Michelle asks me to join Matt and me in our alliance. Stupid, fucking gullible me. The interesting thing to
me here … is never did Matt or I ask to join these dimwits in their alliances – it was always them coming to us.
You have to wonder why that was. They all knew that no way was Matt or I going to turn on each other. Not like
these “people” seem to have. And Emma, there’s Emma just sitting there quietly, trying to act all innocent. Thinking
if she just stays out of the way, she’ll get by. But … there she was with Michelle … spilling her guts about Mike
and Mike’s plan to vote me out and to throw the challenge. I also like that everyone calls her puppet-girl. Mike
tells me she will do what he wants. Michelle tells me that Emma is closest to her and she can get Emma to do whatever
she wants. And Ryan assures me that Emma is all his. I think it’s pretty damn interesting that at one point or
another all the Kamiya came to Matt and me with a plan to turn on each other. Matt and I NEVER, EVER came with
a plan that would turn us on each other. Loyalty may not be good for Survivor, but it sure is good for the soul.
And it sure makes it easier to know who to trust in this game. Mike – pretty much threw away my trust with that
first vote. Didn’t even take the time to e-mail me and tell me what he was doing. Ryan – the very first moment
I walked into Kamiya, he approached me with a deal to vote out Mike. After the big blow-out that Michelle had,
he was willing to take her down if it meant saving his ass. Michelle – well, Michelle blew her trust every other
which way. Emma – say something already. Do something. Play the damn game. Quit letting everyone else play it for
you. Cut the strings that everyone keeps saying they have over you.
QUESTION: Do you think that true kindness can actually exist in a game like this or do you think every nice
thing can appear to be fake in a game that is designed to pit people against each other?
BETH: Yes, I absolutely believe that true kindness can exist in this game. People in Okinawa showed true
kindness all the time. The problem with some people is that they couldn’t fake their kindness well enough. There
was a very good reason why Sato was the “good people” tribe and Kamiya was the “evil people” tribe.
QUESTION: In a game of victims of the twist, who do you think would win?
BETH: This is a tough question! On Sato, Murtz definitely was a victim of the twist. Mike didn’t save him
and sent him to the opposing tribe. Murtz was taken from all his allies, while Chris and Joni already had an alliance
and didn’t take the opportunity to work Murtz into it.
On Kamiya, I think all the Satos who were switched were victims of the twist. We never had a chance from the moment
we stepped into Camp Hell. The very first TC that Kamiya went to post-twist, I think the three Satos should have
been made immune. (The same goes for the first TC that Sato went to, the three Kamiyans should have been made immune).
David was the first one to feel the thrust of Camp Hell, but I don’t necessarily consider him a victim. When he
arranged the fight with Ryan, he took a calculated risk and made a move. I say good for him! For me… I was a victim
in a way, because I always wanted to have hope. (Note to self: never have hope in Survivor!) To finally answer
your question… the winner out of the victims would be David.
QUESTION: Did you feel betrayed that Matt specifically tried to get you kicked out?
BETH: God YES! I was hugely hurt and betrayed when I found out what Matt had been doing. Understand though,
I didn’t find out about it until I was in LL! It was also pretty smart of Matt to distance himself from me and
try to save himself. Only one of us was going to make the merge, Matt just made sure it was him. And a funny thing
is, I inadvertently made Matt feel guilty about it too. When I knew I was going home, I said to Matt, “Since only
one of us can make the merge, I’m glad it’s you.” (hehe)
In fact, as the game continued, there were certain things happening that I actually thought Matt’s betrayal was
bigger than it was. And about then, it was a very good thing I wasn’t able to talk to Matt!
Since then Matt and I have talked about it... and he still feels bad for it. (grin). But, meh, I’m over it… and
it’s fine.
But very good gameplay for Matt!
QUESTION: If you started on Kamiya, do you think you could've developed a true bond with anyone? Would your
friendships have been different?
BETH: Truthfully, if I had started on Kamiya – I probably would have been friends with Dani. I tend to befriend
those who are being mistreated, and I liked her quirky ways. *giggle* And I agree with her… I hate the gnome!
QUESTION: If Kamiya had voted Matt out instead of you, what would have been your game plan?
BETH: Oh wow …. If Matt had been voted out instead of me, at the merge I would have begged and pleaded with
oldSato to take me in! I knew the pre-twist relationships, but I had no idea of what had gone on post-twist. From
the bbq, I knew that I would be able to regroup with Amy and I hoped that Lance and Hogan would still like me,
too. Joni was the wild card in everything to me, because I had never met her. But I knew that I detested all things
Kamiyan.
QUESTION: Maybe I'm wrong but in my opinion, the further you get in this type of game, the dirtier your
hands will become (unless you are dragged along). My question is, how dirty would you be willing to get in this
game?
BETH: I don’t necessarily agree with that. There was a huge difference in the Sato mindset and the Kamiyan
mindset. Kamiya seemed to believe that it was necessary to perform open-heart surgery without the benefit of drugs.
They plundered and pillaged. Sato was a bit different as hands did get dirty, but not from terrorizing people,
threatening people and generally make people’s lives a living hell. Sato got their hands dirty from jumping into
alliances and being nice to your face and then voting you the hell out.
I think it is possible to win Survivor without torturing your opponents. There is a saying, “Killing them with
Kindness” – that was the Sato way. I was also a Sato, even when stuck on Kamiya.
QUESTION: Your speech at TC was surprising in the sense that it didn't seem like you really tried to convince
Ryan, Mike or Emma to keep you. Was that because you were really shocked there was a tie or because you knew Ryan
would switch his vote back?
BETH: Well, I had said everything I wanted to say in my original TC answers. By the time we got to the re-vote,
I just didn’t care anymore about staying in the game. I knew no matter what I said it wouldn’t change the end results.
QUESTION: First, do you wish that you would have started keeping your emotions in check from the beginning
of the switch? It seemed to me Matt was the early target but the more emotional you got the more the target shifted
to you. Matt even pointed this out. Do you regret the few outbursts you had towards Mike and a few of the others?
BETH: I probably *should* have not gotten so emotional. But I really didn’t get that emotional until the
day of TC – after the IC. Not a single Kamiyan had come to me before we read the results of that IC. I found out
what they did while reading the results. A very piss-poor way to treat me, I thought. I didn’t deserve what I got
from them.
The biggest single reason why I *did* get so emotional was the betrayal from Emma and Michelle. Mike and Ryan I
expected it from. But when Michelle came to me to make that final alliance, I trusted her. Silly of me, I know.
But the conversation that I had with her at that point was absolutely genuine, I hoped. When she made the decisions
that she did, I started to doubt my own ability to trust people and to know what was “right”. So in my absolute
hurt, I blasted them.
Also, Emma was the only person to talk to me at all, so she got the brunt of my wrath and hurt.
As far as the outburst with Mike, I regretted that it affected my game, not the relationship I had with Mike. I
had gotten to the point where I felt like I was babysitting Mike all the time. It drove me nuts. And when he told
me he couldn’t trust Matt because Matt was original Sato, *that* was when I let him have it. He was being so hypocritical
about his own gameplay, that I was way over trying to have any deals with him.
QUESTION: Also, after reading the episodes do you have more respect for the way "Emma" was playing?
BETH: No (sorry Isabella)! If anyone has ever overplotted and done NOTHING in episode after episode, it's
her. It was extremely frustrating to ever talk to “Emma” in the game. She simply would not talk game at all.
Her confessionals are good and all, and she may have thought she was in control. But she simply never thought about
the actions of others – which was her downfall with me in trying to get Ryan voted out still.
I'd say that she didn't have nearly the handle she thought she did on other players, and especially in terms of
the controlling of them. She always thought she could gloss over her transgressions with people and still make
them do her will, and it simply wasn't so. She wasn't superior in her playing style to the rest of us.
There is a reason why Mike, Michelle and Ryan all called her puppet-girl to me.
QUESTION: Is there any way to explain/describe the hurt/pain/betrayal you felt during the last day or so
of the game because it seems that you took it (understandably of course), very badly?
BETH: OMG ... I actually cried buckets of tears! Which I know is sort of weird considering it was an online
game - and it was a game. But after all the hell from the past several days, I was quite emotional about it all.
I was absolutely stunned and hurt by Michelle and Isabella's betrayal. I had come to expect that from Mike. But
that last alliance that Michelle asked for - when she asked if she could join Matt and I because, as she said,
"Something's rotten in Denmark" was so genuine that I believed her.
I also believe that anyone in the game deserved better than what Matt and I got from the Kamiyans. The fact that
they let us wait until we read the IC results was terrible to me.
Up to the point of the IC, I totally believed that Matt and I and Michelle and Emma were going to be voting out
Ryan.
Michelle, in fact, had said to me at one point that Joni had already won a previous Survivor game and we both agreed
that she wouldn't be winning this one. So in saying to Michelle that we should win the IC and let Sato vote out
Joni was not that big of a deal to me, since Michelle had already expressed that she didn't want Joni to win.
So the fact that Isabella and Michelle made the alliance with Matt and I and then treated us as they did, totally
blew me away.
In the episode you only get to see a short part of my anger and hurt. It wasn't very pretty and I still apologize
to Isabella <g>. Poor girl, she took the brunt of all my anger and hurt.
I had a great time with Matt, though, planning the absolute destruction of Camp Hell
I hope this helps to answer the question .. if not .. I'll try more better!
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