We got armadillos in our trousers... it's really quite frightening.

Why I said that, I dunno, but it's a sad day when you can't quote Spinal Tap, so I guess this is not a sad day.

I got voted out, I blame it on communism. Communism and a gypsy curse, as in the long run they're to blame for everything, right?

I guess my only regret at this point is the fact that I am forever going to go down in Survivor history as the Wheel of Fortune's Bitch. Twice I've run afoul of it, and now it was fatal. How am I though?

I'm fuckin ecstatic, I made the jury, which outside of winning this thing is what my goal all along was. Actually I came into the game with two goals. One, win it all. That failed. Two, go out with my dignity and a smile on my face, both of which I have done.

It is still a definite culture shock, I was thoroughly expecting to end this game right up until the last moment. Meh, I made it further than half of the cast and that is something to be proud of. I beat Ryan, who probably is a bit more tolerable on the outside than he is on the inside. I was a provider, building shelters and traps galore. I came, I saw, I vultured.

I made friends, more than I could have or would have hoped for. McD, Beffy, Mrs. R and maybe even Mike. I don't know who voted for me and I'm not going to hold gripes about it, life goes on. I do think things will be a bit less interesting around there without me to cause problems and do mischief, teehee. I am disappointed that I couldn't make it any further, but who am I to judge? Some of the most memorable players have been voted out in this place, Rupert, Deena, Jerri, Jenna, Brandon, I could have done worse. I could be Ryan *evil cackle*. All right, all right, I'm at peace now and I plan to use it for what it's worth.

My surviving the one vote was now as far as I can tell a minor reprieve, but I hope it was enough to make a difference. I am still rooting for you Amy, and if

you can't make it on the inside I hope we'll have some fun on the outside. So, now comes the time I address you one by one...

Hogan, Lance, we never talked much even if we did start out on the same tribe, but you know what? You're both good men and I wish you only the best. Even you Hogan, while I may have been insulting your intelligence and politics behind your back, you've got the strength that I wish I had.

Michelle, you're a good woman who can kick pretty much anyone's ass, and that's good for you. I just wish we talked sooner before the council to have given me a bit of shining hope, but by the looks of the vote that wouldn't have made any difference.

Mike, Big Mike of the gnome. You saved me before (maybe), and I thank you for that, these last three days have been three of my best days here. We've had a weird sort of friendship out here, and you've destroyed all of my preconceptions of a giant cameraman who constantly carries around a garden gnome. I can't say that this vote from you does hurt, but you are doing what you have to do and I respect that.

Joni, I owe you the biggest apology of the bunch here. We had some good conversations earlier, and I know the position you're in and have been in very well. I also meant every word of everything I said yesterday, the votes for you today were simply out of a lack of options. There is no malice and no anger intended whatsoever, as I believe you have played a good game and I have the ultimate respect for you. As it turns out, you've played a better one than I.

Emma, Emma, Emma... I'll fess up to it, I lied to you. I broke your trust, I lied to you and I openly plotted with many others to kick you out of here. Damn, of all the different kinds of betrayal I think I've given you the sampler pack. I've done you wrong and I deserve your vote. I hurt you and you deserve better than that. I do give props for you pointing out me and Amy as major threats for winning this game, it was childish but it was a good attempt to get us kicked out of this thing. Who knows, it'll probably work. It did on me. Now let's see what it does for Amy, though truth be told I'm hoping your number is up soon. As it is though, I want to wish a lot of horrible things upon you and your generations of unborn children, but hey, I try not to hold grudges.

And now Amy, dear, sweet Amy, I hope you can make lemonade with the situation here, or if not, you can piss in their water supply. Right now my vote is for you to take this game, I think, unless you betrayed me (which I hope not but won't find out until later I guess). You're a good woman, a good mother, and as I've said it before, you make me wish I was ten years older.

What a long strange trip it's been. Jerry Garcia said it best. I've had my ups and downs. The hunger, the storms, the lack of sleep. The people. But for all the low lows, there are the high highs. Winning the eating challenge for Sato, killing that deer, and winning the throwing star challenge, those will go down as life moments. I have my pride and a smile on my face, who could ask for anything more?

I'd like to thank Mark Burnett and company for making this one hell of a game, and on the outside I'd like to thank my dad. He wasn't all that supportive of me doing this, but I love the big oaf and we still will have fun together. He's gonna laugh like hell at some of the shit I pulled out here...

So, I welcome groupies and homemade cookies (chocolate chip cookies). And what shall I say in parting... Oh yeah,

HAIL TO THE KING BABY!

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