Darrah Johnson, mortician
The Funny 115
#103. Jon lies but he tells the truth, too.
Pearl Islands - Episode 11
I actually hesitated to include this moment on the list because I
wasn't sure if I was the only one who thought
it was funny. After all, it's not the type of moment that would jump
out at you the first time you saw it.
But upon further reflection I came to realize that... damnit... I don't
care if nobody else agrees with me. This
is one of my favorite Survivor quotes of all time and I look forward to
it every time I watch Pearl Islands. It
always cracks me up, it always cracks my wife up, and the fact that it
is delivered with a thick Mississippi accent
is pretty much just icing on the cake.
So welcome, Darrah Johnson, to your very first appearance in the Funny
115. Sorry if you didn't mean for it to
be funny at the time.
Darrah Johnson, mortician
The Backstory: Jon Dalton is at a very pivotal stage
in the game towards the end of Pearl Islands. He has
managed to get rid of Rupert (which is good), and on top of that he has
managed to sucker everybody into thinking
his grandma just died (which is even better). In other words Jon
suddenly has a lot of power. But on the negative
side, Jon has also lied to just about everybody in the game, he has two
mortal enemies (Sandra and Christa) who
absolutely hate his guts, and people routinely call him a "snake"
because he can't be trusted. So this
is a very pivotal moment in the game for Jon Dalton. He absolutely
needs to find some new players he can dupe,
and he is lucky to find them when he joins Lill and Darrah on an
overnight trip to a local spa.
In other words, Lill and Darrah are the patsies he needs to get himself
to the final two.
Jon starts working his magic on the two women at dinner that night, but
he eventually ends up zeroing in on Darrah,
the cute young mortician from Mississippi. Lill is off pouting by
herself for some reason or another (which happens
at least twice every episode) so Jon is able to get Darrah alone, and
he starts promising her a trip to the final
two. Jon makes the offer, Darrah agrees, and all appears to be right in
the world. Jon is going to take Darrah
with him to the final two.
Well of course we know this isn't true. Jon hasn't told the truth a
single time yet in this game. But the funny
thing is that Darrah actually falls for it. She knows that Jon is a
snake. She knows that Jon lies to everybody.
She knows that Jon has screwed just about everybody in the game. Yet
for whatever reason she thinks that this is
the time that he's actually telling the truth.
Darrah then explains to us why she's going to trust Jon, and in her
interview she utters one of my all-time favorite
Survivor quotes:
"Jon's a snake, yeah, and he lies. But he also tells the truth, too."
Well no shit. Thank you, Dr. Obvious.
I have no idea why this quote strikes me as so funny, but I swear to
God it's one of my favorite moments in Pearl
Islands. Jon lies, but he also tells the truth too. Well said.
I asked my wife why this quote was so funny, because she always laughs
at it too. I couldn't place my finger on
it, so I needed a second opinion. And she explained it this way, "It's
funny because the first thing has nothing
to do with the second thing. So she's comparing two things (truth and
lies) that don't have to be mutually exclusive
of one another." In other words it's like saying, "This car goes fast,
but I don't like it because it
goes slow too." It's just a ridiculous quote all around. Another
meaningless phrase would be "This pit
bull bites kids in the face, but I bought it because it doesn't bite
kids in the face too." See, it's fun
to think these up. Another good one would be "Pirates are bad because
they plunder and rape. But they also
don't plunder and rape too."
Can you come up with any better ones?
Anyway I don't mean to make fun of Darrah. I know the quote just came
out differently than she intended it. She
probably meant to say something like, "Yes Jon has lied a lot of times
in this game. But it's in his best
interest to go with me to the end, so I think he's telling the truth
this time. And that's why I'm going to trust
him, even though I know I might get screwed." That would have been a
much more elegant way of phrasing it.
But no, in the heat of the moment, she phrased it somewhat poorly and
instead gave us one of the most meaningless
Survivor quotes of all time.
Jon lies, but he tells the truth too.
Good point.
Jon's reaction when he saw this quote on TV
P.S. This moment is funny but it's also not funny, too.
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