The 115 Funniest Things to Ever Happen on Survivor

#46. Helen bullies her husband
Thailand - Episode 11






This moment was great. It was a total Helen Glover moment and nobody but Helen could have ever pulled it off. And it was a good example of a player being funny without really even trying to be.

It's the eleventh episode of Thailand... and that means it is time for the dreaded food challenge! Only in Thailand the producers have decided to do things a little bit differently. This season, the players won't be eating the gross food themselves. No, that would be too easy. Players eating gross food is soooooo fourth season.

No, this time around the players' loved ones will be doing the eating.

Survivor: Thailand was the first season where the players' loved ones had to eat gross food, and it featured a very memorable moment from Chuay Gahn's Helen Glover. Because not only did Helen's husband Jim win the challenge... not only did he defeat and out-eat all the other players' loved ones... but the guy won solely because his wife bullied him into doing so!

It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen on the show. There's Jim, trying to eat. And there's Helen, sitting right next to him. And she is not going to be cheated out of her visit from home. So Helen's glaring at Jim. And she's berating him. And she's pleading. And she's pointing. She basically is not going to let him lose this challenge. And if she has to resort to physical violence to do so, I don't think she would have necessarily been against it. Helen is going to win this challenge today. Make no doubt about it.

Check out the vidcaps of Helen's bullying below. These are some of my very favorite images from any moment on this list. God bless the DVD screen cap feature:

It's the family visit! And here come Jim Glover!

Helen is overjoyed to see her husband. And, like always, her emotions are amped up about five notches beyond the emotions of a normal person. Because when Helen is happy... she isn't just "happy." No, when Helen is happy she is overjoyed. When Helen sees Jim walk out I think she literally pees her pants. See below:

So the contest begins, and the first gross food item is a spoonful of ants. Jim isn't thrilled about eating this...

But it really doesn't matter. Because Helen is sitting there right next to him... and Helen is not going to let him lose. Helen immediately starts pointing at him and yelling for him to eat those ants:

"Uh oh. What have I gotten myself into here?"

So round two comes along, and Helen pulls the exact same dominatrix act when Jim balks at having to eat a big old fat water beetle.

"Come on honey. Do this for me. Can you eat that nasty beetle?"

Jim starts gagging

Grrrrrrrrrrrr!

Spit it up and I will murder you. You hear me?

Jim does it!

Jim struggles along but he winds up making it to the final round, where he squares off against Jake Billingsley's wife, Jenny. And this is where Helen pulls out all the stops. The minute Jim sees the boiled tarantula that he is supposed to eat... Helen kicks her domination skills into high gear. And she pretty much wins this challenge on coercion alone. See below:

Jim starts to chunder

Oh, I don't think so...

PLEEEEEEEASE! PLEEEEEEEASE!

Jim wins! Jim wins! Jim isn't going to be murdered tonight!

Yeaaaaaahhhhh! And a fist pump for good measure!

Helen single-handedly bullies Jim into a reward victory, and it makes for one of the funniest moments of Survivor: Thailand. It also reinforces my belief that Helen would have been the most intimidating schoolteacher in the history of mankind. I mean... can you honestly imagine this person sitting in class, telling you you had to do your homework?

Even though I'm not religious, I think we can all say a little prayer of thanks that Helen never went into the field of elementary education. And that she never terrified a five year old to within an inch of his life. I think we can all agree that military instructor was probably the best career path she could have chosen for herself.

I'm a little scared of my wife. For reals.

P.S. Helen's bullying was truly a great Survivor moment... but it's not the only time that this challenge will make the Funny 115. In fact, we will be coming back to this challenge very soon when we delve into the legend of porn legend C.C. Heidik. Or... as I like to call her... the #1 Survivor loved one of all time.

See you soon, C.C.