The 115 Funniest Things to Ever Happen on Survivor

#51. Rocks!
Australia - Episode 1

I know. I'm going to hell for including this moment on the list. After all, the number one rule in Survivor writing is that you aren't allowed to make fun of Debb Eaton. I'm sorry but that's just the way that it works. So I know I am risking some sort of biblical wrath by putting this moment at #51. Hell, I'm probably pissing off God just by even thinking about it.

But you know what?

Screw it. Debb's quote about rocks is funny, and God can take it up with me in the afterlife if He wants. If I'm lucky maybe I can even pull off a Chris Daugherty-like jury performance and somehow lie my way out of trouble. It's unlikely, but these are the risks I am willing to take for you people. I hope you somehow appreciate it.

Anyway...

Debb Eaton, lover of rocks

Australia's Debb Eaton is known specifically for two things. First, she is the only Survivor contestant to actually hang herself after she was voted off. But aside from that, Debb is best known for a very distinct quote she uttered during the Australia premiere. It was one of the most often-quoted phrases during the Australia season, it is totally not nice to be including it on this countdown, but like I said... to hell with sensitivity and good taste. There is no way that Debb's "Rocks!" quote is gonna be left off this list. There are some things that I just cannot do.

Here is the actual moment in all its ridiculous glory:

*****

It's day one and the Kucha tribe has just finished a murderous trek across the Australian wilderness. They have finally reached their campsite, they are ready to get this game started, and that means it is time to start building their shelter.

But then the question comes up... where should the shelter be built? And how are they going to construct it?

And... most importantly... what materials are they going to use to build it?

This is where Debb enters the picture. Debb Eaton, the gruff and somewhat antisocial prison guard who will eventually be the first boot of the game, steps forward to deliver one of the most iconic quotes in Survivor history. Enjoy.

"We got enough rocks here, too! We could build a pretty decent shelter just usin' rawwwwks!"

*****

Annnnnd... scene.

My wife and I have always loved this quote, but we had to discuss recently why we both thought it was so funny. Was it because Debb thinks she can actually build a shelter just using rocks? Or is it just in the way she shouts it? Is it just some magical combination of the two?

Is it perhaps her accent? Or maybe it's the way the editors frame the shot. After all, all we see is a close-up of her screaming face as she bellows across the camp about "RAWWWWKS!"

Hmm... or maybe it's the image of Debb constructing her own little personal Stonehenge and expecting it to keep the Kuchas warm and dry at night.

I don't know.

Artist's rendition of what a shelter made of rocks would probably look like

Like the builders of the Great Pyramid or the mysteries of Loch Ness, we may never know why Debb's quote about rocks is so funny. It might just go down as a mystery of the unknown. All I know is that it's fricking hilarious.

Oh, and I also know that a shelter made of rocks would have probably killed them.

Look! RAWWWWKS!

I tried to get them to build a shelter out of rocks, but none of dat even mattered!

P.S. Yes I know. I'm going to hell.

P.P.S. No, Debb didn't really hang herself. That's just an old joke from my column over at Survivor-Central. I used to always refer to Debb as "the one who hanged herself." She is still quite alive, as far as I know. And I believe she is still probably a lover of rocks.