Boston Rob being switched over to Rotu
The 115 Funniest Things to Ever Happen on Survivor
#79. Boston Rob slams the Rotus
Marquesas - Episode 4
On day ten in Marquesas, Rob Mariano was switched over to the "love
tribe" of Rotu. And it's safe to
say he wasn't very happy about it. Why do I say this? Well because his
first move was to sit down for one of
the most mean-spirited (yet funny) interviews in Survivor history. Rob
basically shredded everybody on his new
tribe, and he didn't try to spare anybody's feelings in the process.
Boston Rob being switched over to Rotu
Rob's confessional about Rotu was quite infamous back in 2002 because
everybody on the internet was talking about
it (and usually not in a good way). And even though it offended a lot
of people, I'm still putting it on the list
just on principle alone. Rob's confessional about the Rotus was a
notable and funny moment in one of the funniest
overall seasons (Marquesas), and there are several reasons why it
deserves to be included on this list:
* For one, it was one of the harshest and most blunt confessionals
we've ever seen on Survivor. It was mean, it
was offensive, it was personal, and it really only could have come from
Boston Rob. Rob Mariano was always the
king of the personal attack.
* Secondly, this confessional came directly after the Marquesas twist,
and right before the Rotus ganged up and
took out Gabriel. So even though Rob made some direct and mean personal
attacks, it sort of felt justified at
the time because the Rotus were about to pull off one of the biggest
asshole moves of all time (taking out Gabe). So the timing of it all
really couldn't have worked out better. Rob would have taken a lot more
heat if the Rotus
hadn't ended up turning on one another in the same episode.
* And finally, the third reason this moment was
significant was because it was the first truly "mean"
confessional in Survivor history. Oh sure, there had been a few bitchy
interview comments made in earlier seasons:
Borneo: Colleen: "Go get your liposuction,
Rich"
Australia: Varner: "That's classic Mike, he's an
idiot."
Africa: Kelly: "Frank is antisocial and weird. But I
feel like they have prescription medications
to counter all that."
All of these comments had been snippy (and funny) little
one-liners, but Rob's confessional took the cake as
the first flat-out mean personal attack in Survivor history. Plus it
was the first time that a player actually
insulted every single person on his new tribe! When
I first heard these words coming out of Rob's mouth,
my first impression was "Damn, he's gonna be hating life at the reunion
show." It was the first time
ever that I thought a player had said something he was really going to
regret. In fact, all throughout this confessional,
I remember sitting there thinking just one word:
"Ouch."
Boston Rob gleefully tearing into the new Rotus
So anyway, here is Boston Rob's infamous confessional about the Rotus.
This came at the start of the fourth episode,
right after Rob was switched over to the "love tribe." I think it's
safe to say he wasn't all that pleased
with his new tribesmates...
"Gabe is definitely a brainiac. Probably thinks he's a lot smarter than
he really is."
"When I first saw John, I knew he was a big time queer. He seems rough
and tough over here, but he does all
the cookin', so I won't be sleepin' next to him. *grin* Not the first
night, anyway."
"The General is big and tough, and wants everybody to know that. He's
probably got a little sausage. *grin*"
"Tammy's engaged. There's not too much hope there."
"And Zoe. *laughs* C'mon. Without a doubt, Zoe is the toughest guy on
this tribe."
So I'm sitting there watching this confessional, and I'm thinking "Did
Rob really just say that on national
TV?" Because remember that while mean confessionals might seem
perfectly acceptable now, back in 2002 there
had never been anything like this before on Survivor. Players didn't
just routinely blast one another just to
be mean. Usually they did it for a reason. I mean, my gosh, Rudy Boesch
set off a flurry of angry message board
posts in 2000 just by saying "I like the queer. He's good." And that
was Rudy trying to give a compliment! So you can imagine the reaction
from angry viewers when Rob insulted the sexuality of both John and Zoe
in the
same interview, and then he accused the General of having a little
dick. Good lord. I honestly thought that Rob
was going to wind up dead at the Marquesas reunion show. I thought he
would end up being the first Survivor postgame
casualty.
Rob Mariano, mudslinger.
So here's to Rob's famous confessional about the Rotus. It
either made you laugh because you thought it
was funny, or it made you laugh because you couldn't believe what you
were hearing. But in either case, it makes
the list just for historical value alone.
Oh, and also for the fact that I could always picture Rob's mom sitting
at home watching this episode for the first
time, and saying to herself, "Oh honey, no."
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