The Funny 115
#98. Boston Rob - The Rooster Hunter
Marquesas - Episode 1
People tend to remember Sarah "Cleopatra" Jones as having the best
introduction in Survivor: Marquesas. After all, she
came in standing up on a raft while her "servants" paddled her in.
Probst loved it,
the producers loved it, and it was one of the most memorable character
introductions of all time. Everybody remembers
Sarah from the Marquesas premiere.
But in my personal experience I thought there was an even better
character introduction in Survivor: Marquesas. It wasn't as widely
talked about as Sarah's entrance, but for my money I thought this one
was even better. And
as an added bonus, the guy I'm talking about ended up being one of the
most memorable Survivor characters of all
time
That's right, I'm talking about "Boston" Rob Mariano... the kid who
tried to catch a rooster in the Marquesas
premiere.
Our introduction to Boston Rob. Note that he didn't have the porn star
mustache yet, but he did have his buff
in an X around his elbow.
Boston Rob has obviously gone on to bigger and better things since
then, but I'll never forget the first time I
saw him on Maraamu. Here was this kid in a Red Sox cap who just
screamed enthusiasm. He was here to have fun,
he had a smile that never left his face, and most memorably, he tied
his buff around his elbow in a very distinct
"X" pattern. Yes, Rob Mariano was a distinct and enjoyable character
from the very first minute of the
game, and that was even before we found out he
worshipped The Godfather and talked in a comical
Boston
accent. In fact, the Good Will Hunting accent was pretty much the icing
on the cake. Once we heard his accent
for the first time, Boston Rob officially become a Survivor legend. We
officially had a really good charactah
ovah heah.
Anyway, Boston Rob's first big Survivor moment came at the start of the
first episode... when he decided he was
going to go catch a rooster. It was the first day of the game, Rob was
already tired of eating fruit, and he was
salivating over the thought of providing for the tribe. So when he
heard some "garblin'" off in the
distance, Rob knew what had to be done. He was going to go catch a
rooster and he was going to do it for the good
of the tribe. And for the rest of the first episode... Rob Mariano
officially became known as "chicken man."
Rob building the shelter when he hears a rooster off in the distance
"Hey, do you hear that garblin'?"
(Note: I say "garblin'" because that's literally how
Rob said the word "gobbling." It was Boston Rob's first memorable quote
on Survivor. "Hey, do you hear that garblin'?" That's an
actual quote! I know I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll say it
again: God bless the Boston accent. For reals.)
As expected, Rob's first foray into rooster hunting turned out to be a
disaster. For one, he took Peter "Holes"
Harkey as his right hand man, and you can guess how that turned out.
The second big problem was that Rob was unaware
that roosters could fly. In fact, this small variable (flying skill)
proved to a major hindrance, because it transformed
Rob's plan from "corner the rooster in a tree and catch it" into the
much less-successful plan of "corner
the rooster in the tree and watch it fly away." So anyway, that's what
happened. The rooster took off like
a jet, Rob gave a really funny confessional about how he had been
unaware that roosters could fly, and that was
our introduction to Boston Rob on Survivor.
The victim
Step 1: Rob chases the rooster
Step 2: Rob and Peter corner it in a tree
"Wait, those things can fly? They can't fly, can they?"
Rob explaining to us how the rooster took off "like a 747." "It was
outta heah."
Boston Rob's rooster hunt was one of the best character introductions
we've ever had on the show. And I'll never
forget that he actually said the word "garblin'."
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