#43. Outlaw


43. Outlaw (1986) - Season 5, episode 519

"I worry about a superhero named Kevin who drives a Camaro."

Plot:  A guy named Cabot drives a Camaro through a time portal, and becomes a hero in the medieval fantasy world of Gor

Famous for:  The fact that the other characters scream "Cabot!" at least a hundred and fifty times during the first ten minutes of the movie. Oh, and also, for the sheer amount of times we see up someone's skirt (aka, "the buffalo shot.")

Oh great, now I've seen that

Hold me closer, tiny flasher

My favorite riff:  Outlaw contains one of the all-time greatest dirty MST3k riffs. And it's sneaky, too, it's one of those lines that not everyone gets.

See, there's this queen in the movie who gets carried around town on a chariot. And one day, as she is being carried through town, she passes by a statue that... for whatever reason... looks a lot like an enormous stone dick.

And as the queen turns to look at the dildo statue... well... here's Mike's beautiful vibrator joke:

"Oh, oh god, PLEASE invent the battery!"

Comments:  The reason why this movie is so confusing, and why the backstory all feels so rushed, is because it is actually a sequel. Outlaw was originally titled "Outlaw of Gor", and it was a sequel to the 1987 science fiction fantasy movie Gor. So if you're wondering why we get so much backstory in the first five minutes, and why everything moves so quickly, that's why. The filmmakers assumed you had already seen Gor and you already knew the backstory of Cabot before you watched Outlaw.

Outlaw is easily one of my favorites of the early Mike episodes. And the reason why is because it was one of the first really dirty episodes of MST3k, which marked a fairly significant turning point in the history of the show. Prior to Outlaw, the dirty riffs on MST3k were usually far more subtle. If they were there, they were generally underplayed. There WERE dirty jokes on the show prior to Outlaw, of course, but most people in the audience weren't expected to catch them. But here, beginning with Outlaw, that started to change.

Starting right around the time of this episode, it felt like the show started aiming for a PG-13 rating instead of a PG rating. And they generally weren't very subtle about it, either. So starting with Outlaw, you started getting jokes about boob sizes. They started commenting on the gratuitous ass shots. The movies on MST3k started featuring far more sex scenes. And of course the vibrator riff. My god, that glorious vibrator riff.

Because I prefer my comedy to be edgy (not gentle), this is why I always enjoyed the Mike era more than the Joel era. To be blunt, it's because it's just dirtier. The Joel era might have been more clever at times, and more whimsical, but the Mike era was just edgier and dirtier, and more savage, and more blunt. And to me, it's just funnier. Almost all my favorite riffs of all time are going to come from a Mike episode.

"I crap bigger than this hat."

And getting back to Outlaw... I mean, you have to love any sword and sorcery movie where the actresses are clearly just 80s girls who stepped right out of the food court at the mall. That's one of my favorite things about this particular era of trash cinema. Just watch for all the anachronistic 80s hairstyles.

80s girl

80s girl

Gag me with a spoon, Cabot. Grody.

Oh, and also... how the HELL did they get Jack Palance to star in this movie? Was his career really at THAT low a point in 1987 that they were somehow able to snag him? Keep in mind that this is the same guy who won Best Supporting Actor for City Slickers just a couple of years later.

How the hell did they get a future Oscar winner to star in Outlaw?

For Jack (left, with mall girl), this was probably a low point

Trivia:  By the way, you know that second actress from the 80's that I mentioned above? The one with the really big mall hair?

Her name is Rebecca Ferratti

Well you might recognize her from another, slightly-better-known movie, The Three Amigos.

She's the one who shows up at the end as Martin Short's hot girlfriend.

Ned Nederlander's hot side piece

Um, how did Ned hook up with the mall girl from Outlaw?


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