#12. Time Chasers

12. Time Chasers (1990) - Season 8, episode 821
"Sooo... in the future, kids become gay agents?"

Hi.  I'm Bob Evil.


Comments:  Time Chasers is an episode that I have only seen twice.  So unfortunately I don't have a lot of backstory behind it to share with you.  And I don't really remember a lot of the best riffs off the top of my head.  I haven't seen it twenty or thirty times like I have for every other episode in my top ten.
What I do remember about Time Chasers is that it is AWESOME.  Seriously, I had heard the legend of Time Chasers for years before I ever got my hands on a copy and watched it.  I knew that this was a unanimous top 20 pick by just about every person who had ever watched Mystery Science Theater.  Every single countdown, every single list I have ever seen, they all list Time Chasers as a favorite.  My friend Brian maintains that this is the funniest episode he has ever seen.  He is not alone.  Lots of people have told me that over the years.
[We finally see 2041 for the first time.  It looks a lot like 1996.]
Mike: [derisively] The, uh, future.
[A 10 year old boy wearing lime-green pants jogs while talking on a cell phone]
Crow: So, in the future, kids become gay agents?
Servo: So... 50 years from now will be 3 years from now?
[As Nick, Lisa, and Matt go into a building, a burly-looking woman walks by]
Servo: Hey, look—a lesbian... of the future!
[Cut to inside, where the camera pans down to a fairly typical mall food court]
Mike: Food courts... of the future!
Honestly, I wish I could share more personal recollections of this episode, but I can't.  I need to watch it more.  Just trust me when I say it shot up into my top ten the moment I saw it.  And the more I see it, it might go up even higher.  We could be talking about a future #1 Mario overall favorite one day.
[The hero jumps out of a truck and jumps onto a bicycle. The bad guys who are chasing him do the same.]
Tom Servo:  Ah, so it's bicycles then, eh? We accept your choice of vehicle! En garde!
[After Robertson punches Nick out of the flying plane, Nick somehow manages to hang on with his palms flat against the smooth metal wing]
Crow [as Nick]: Ha ha! Unlucky for you, I secrete pine tar from my hands!
[The hero is doing something in the crook of a tree]
Mike: Oh, he's trying to get honey like Pooh!
Crow: Oh he's like poo all right.
[As a static shot of a tree goes on for quite a while]
Servo: Did the tree contribute money to the film? Why are they showing this?
[The credits display "The Producers Wish To Thank", followed by a VERY long list of people and organizations]
Servo: Wow, they are special thanking the HELL out of this movie!

For now, let me just say that I will rank Time Chasers are my #8 overall favorite, and leave it at that.  Although I would like to share this anecdote.  Apparently when the producers of Time Chasers learned that their movie (which is little more than a home movie) was going to be chosen for Mystery Science Theater, they were ecstatic.  Seriously, a big name TV show is going to screen our movie?  Our little movie is going to be on TV?  The producers were overjoyed that the little low budget movie that they had worked so hard on for so many years was finally going to get some national exposure.
Well you can probably guess what happened next.  The producers didn't really understand what Mystery Science Theater was, and that their movie was going to be mocked.  So they set up this viewing party for all their family and friends, they proudly turned on the Sci Fi Channel to watch the national debut of Time Chasers, and you can imagine how horrified they must have been when they saw what Mike and the Bots did to it.  I have heard that it was just about the most awkward viewing party ever.
That's a true story by the way.  Even more fuel to add to the legend of Time Chasers.

 "They somehow gave her plaid theme music."

 "Listen, do you want your Library card revoked?"

 "Ah, so it's bicycles then, eh? We accept your choice of vehicle! En garde!"

 "Yep, Grandma came back from the dead, built a duplicate plane, and crashed it."

"Ah Ha! Unlucky for you, I secrete pine tar from my hands."



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