Oh my gosh, I am still in a state of shock. Everything is a first time experience for me right now, talking to a camera. Holding an interview. Sitting in a, wow, pretty comfy chair! ::laughs as she squirms around in her seat:: Everything has just been a complete whirlwind, and still, still, I can’t believe that in under twenty-four hours I am about to go out into the harsh wilderness of Okinawa and try to outlast fifteen other people. I mean, c’mon, it’s Okinawa! That’s in like, Japan, and they make the coolest toys ever so…wait, that’s Thailand. ::laughs:: Still, going to somewhere on the completely other side of the world is huge to me, much less out of the state. The only thing foreign to me is an overgrown mouse with clothes on. ::laughs again:: To a fifteen year old girl, going on sixteen, this is a big deal. I’ve never been away from my family for more than a few days, and now I’m leaving with the hopes of lasting thirty-nine? What have I gotten into you know? Hopefully I make them proud, and I should.

I’m not very good at the whole lying and backstabbing thing, so we’ll see how it all works out. As I say, I’m willing to rip, claw, and fight my way to the top…but I’m not willing to use my nails to do it! I mean, this is coming from a girl that is always underestimated, joining that elite motley crew of those picked last for dodge ball. I’m just the nice girl; nobody thinks I can do anything. That’s what I’m out to prove, I’m out to prove them wrong. Not all fifteen-year old girls worry about what to wear to homecoming, talk constantly on the phone, and instant messenge people like nobody’s business. I don’t wear clothes that expose my stomach and other things we won’t mention, those types of things are what I wear to the beach and that’s where they’ll stay. That’s what I’m most afraid of, by being underestimated by people because I’m twice their age. But at the same time, that’s what drives me. It’s a double-edged sword; it truly is in every sense of the word.

But seriously, that does scare me being younger than everybody else. I mean, it’s not that we don’t have anything in common, give me some good Aretha or Ella and I’m good to go, but throw me in that world of crap, I mean rap, and I’m completely lost. But they don’t know that, and hopefully they don’t assume because immediately it’s going to put me at a disadvantage because the social aspect of the game is where I excel. If I don’t have that, I’m stuck in the air with no parachute.

Hopefully I’ll find a few friends, I usually don’t have trouble with that. I want to align with those that are genuine because then I’ll always know that they have my back. Some people though, they have a very tongue and cheek relationship with trust. To me, I give you my trust right of the bat. It’s not earned, it’s given. Then you lose the facades and people trying to put up these fronts to impress you because you’ve already accepted them. That’s when you get the genuine relationships, because people are genuine. It’s almost like saying; look, the ball is in your court. What are you going to do with it? Hopefully that works to my advantage.

My strategy going into this game is to immediately just find one young girl with similar values. In all probability, they’ll probably be one of the weaker players. However, it is my hope that we join together and kind of set up an outsider’s alliance. The advantage to having your sweet, generally nice yet perceived weak girls is an advantage because in the beginning you’re too nice to kick off and then after the merge you are too weak to be voted off. So it kinda combines into one big thing that snowballs into something much larger and the next thing you know, you’re in the final six or so and you have one ally that no matter what is going to stick by you. Hopefully, if it works out the way it usually does, we’ll just slide to that final six and in the meantime pick up the people that others have been cast out of the main click. It’s alliances like Christy, Butch, Rob, and Matt that win the game because they are aligned out of survival. And although I love Heidi to death, those are the alliances that will hold strong at the end because they rely on each other.

We’ll see how it works out, but my main goal is to befriend someone on the outs in the beginning. From that I have my foundation, so we can bring in some others that are perceived as outcasts and kind of build of a rebellion and take down the big guns. You’re always going to have your people that fit in and those that don’t, whether it’s by their own will or not. So I figure if I bring them together in my original tribe we can join up with some from the other tribe at the merge and take this game by storm. The other half of my strategy though is to also befriend the majority, so if it comes down to a numbers game I’ll be the last one standing and I can scrounge up some time to turn things around. Also, my goal is to put them on the jury and have them want to vote for me in the final two over someone else. ::laughs:: You know what though? I say this now and it’ll probably all change the first day I get there, but we’ll see. ::winks:: We’ll see. Sweet dreams to all, and I’ll see y’all again in a few hours.

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