The
Funny 115 - version 2.0
#98.
Girl on Girl Jury Action
Fans vs. Favorites - finale
Okay now this has got to be one of the top ten most requested entries
on the entire countdown. I swear, when I asked people to
start
sending me ideas for the Funny 115, I couldn't go more than five emails
without somebody nominating Natalie Bolton's jury question from Fans
vs. Favorites. It was right up there with "Denise screams at
the
balut" and "Shane medivacs Bruce without pants" and "Stephen Fishbach
waxes nostalgic about auto-erotic asphyxiation" as the top four
nominees for the new countdown.
And, well, since everyone
already seems to know this moment and is expecting it to get an entry,
I guess I don't have to do much of a writeup for it.
So here it
is. Natalie Bolton's WTF completely out of the blue jury
question
in Fans vs. Favorites. In all of its glory.
Complete with
facial reactions.
It is easily one of the most random and bizarre moments in ten plus
years of Survivor.
Natalie Bolton - cat person
It's
the final episode of Fans vs. Favorites, and Parvati and Amanda (the
final two) are battling it out in front of a jury. The two
original members of the "Favorites plus Amanda" tribe, both charter
members of the infamous Black Widow Brigade, are sitting there getting
grilled by the jury.
And the mood on the set is tense, as tonight's vote promises to
be very close.
The
first three jurors (Eliza, Jason, and Alexis) all come up and ask their
question. Without incident. So far nothing unusual.
And then we come to the fourth juror.
Natalie
Natalie
steps up to face the final two and... well... I guess
we'll just
let her take it from here. Because I'm not sure I could do
this
moment justice in a writeup. After all, I am a guy.
I also
went to a Jesuit school.
Miss Natalie?
Natalie addresses Parvati and Amanda
"First of all, you have my respect tonight. Woman to women."
"We'll start with you Parv."
"You
have labeled yourself as "a flirt." You're probably the most
masterful person in the history of Survivor to play the flirt card,
which is great."
"My question to you is... how does that resonate with you in the
bedroom?"
"How do you take that to the next level, as far as strategy in the
game? How does that translate your layers of being..."
At
this point we are treated to a montage of some of the greatest WTF jury
facial reactions in Survivor history. Nobody can believe
where
Natalie is about to go with this question.
James even says "I'm confused."
Although out of all the reaction shots, here is my favorite:
Probst
eventually has to cut Natalie off, because he has no idea what the hell
she is asking. He also has no idea if he is supposed to be
getting a boner over this.
He then asks Parvati if she has any idea what the hell
Natalie is
talking about.
"Hold on guys, let's.......... Parvati, do you know what she's asking?"
"You're a flirt. You flirted with me on several occasions.
I'm not complaining."
*flirting* "You're sexy."
*flirting* "Thanks."
"So, how does being the flirt parallel to your intimate life?"
Parvati
kind of side-steps the question (at least according to what we were
allowed to see on TV) and finally brings an end to the shenanigans by
answering that yes, she will flirt with anyone in Survivor,
male
or female. As long as it gets her what she wants, yes she
will
flirt with anybody.
And until we see the NC-17 director's cut of
Fans vs Favorites when it comes out on DVD in six years, that's as far
as this jury question ever went. As far as you know.
So
why did Natalie Bolton's jury question make the #98 spot on the Funny
115? Easy. It's because it's the closest we have
ever come
to hot girl on girl action in the middle of Tribal Council.
And for that, we salute the single best juror in Survivor history.
"Excuse me? Best juror ever? Really?"
Huh?
Yes, Heidi?
"You
know, it's not like Natalie is the only hot juror in Survivor history.
I can happen to think of a few others that Parvati might have
wanted to sleep with too. Like, if maybe they only would have
asked her."
Well yes Heidi, but this isn't
your entry. This is about Natalie. You
were on the last
Funny 115, I'm not talking about you anymore.
"But
I'm just saying, maybe there is some other juror out there with a hot
luscious body that is even better than Natalie's. Wouldn't
that
be possible?"
Yes well maybe there is. I don't know. But I don't
see how that is relevant to this entry.
"Well I think maybe we should ask her? Don't you think so?"
Ask who what?
"We should ask Parvati if Natalie is the hottest juror in Survivor
history."
No, I'm not going to ask her that. What do you care?
The entry is over. I already finished the writeup.
"Yeah
but it's kind of an important question. I mean, what if
there's
another juror out there who is even hotter. And what if she
can
run as fast as a whippet. Wouldn't that be important
to
know?"
No. Not really.
"Yeah but don't you want to..."
No. Good night, Heidi.
"Are you sure?"
Yes. Good night.
"Go Phillies!"
