The Funny 115 - The Third One

#71. The Shoulder Grab
Caramoan - episode 1

Some of the entries on the Funny 115 are slapstick.

Some of them are based around the awesomeness of a specific character.

Some of them are more of a season-long slow burn.  

And then... there are the entries like this one.

Where something cute happens in the background and a couple of players share a little moment over it.

This is just a quick little writeup of a cute little Caramoan thing.  I hope you like it.

There, done

Okay, so it's episode one of Survivor: Caramoan.  And the Favorites tribes has done the impossible.  They have managed to lose to the fans tribe in a Fans vs. Favorites season.

Ten bucks if you can name all these people*

* not a legally binding contract

So the Favorites are headed to the first Tribal Council, and things don't look good.

Nice leadership, Phillip.  You lost to fans.

The Favorites sit down and prepare for Tribal Council, and everyone looks grim.

Well, okay, not EVERYONE looks grim.  Erik Reichenbach looks like he just woke up.  Either that or he just found some marijuana and he smoked it like a cigarette.

Jeez Erik, I hate that we woke you

But for the most part, it's a very grim scene.  Featuring people who know they shouldn't have lost to fans, and they are all pissed off about it.

So then of course Probst brings up the question.  If you guys are so much better than the fans, then why the hell did you lose?

"We're all chiefs," explains Brandon.  "There's no indians here."

I mostly blame still being associated with Russell Swan

Please refer to my earlier season where I blamed Phillip

I blame my sunburn

I blame Dawn's teeth

I still blame Sugar's father

So it goes around and around, and pretty soon the topic of fear comes up.  Are you worried that you are going to be the first player voted out of Fans vs Favorites?  

Would that be worse for you, if you went home first as a returning player?

Yes it would.  None of us wants to go home first.  We're all warriors.  None of us even know what that's like.

And then we get to the funny part.

Let's talk about paranoia.  Are you guys feeling paranoid right now?

And an extra grand in your paycheck if you can somehow tie your answer in to Boston Rob

Hell yes.  Of course Frankekwa is paranoid tonight.

"Once the paranoia starts, it's definitely like a snowball effect."

"Sometimes paranoia is created when you hear that other people are suggesting you."

"We're ALL paranoid."

"You hear one little comment and you can just freak out."

Why would she say that about my marriage?

And now Jeff turns his attention to his favorite little sunburned narrator, Cochran.

Cochran, why don't you take the rest of this scene home for us?

"Cochran, one of the things about playing with experienced players, the game is so much faster."

"Things can happen AT Tribal Council!"

"You can have a plan in place, and suddenly hear somebody say something, and go..."


"We gotta change things up!"


Also, be sure to phrase your answer as a reference to Boston Rob.

"Absolutely.  We've seen that happen before."

"On Redemption Island, Boston Rob would reach out his hand."

"And touch the shoulder of the person he wanted voted off."

Thank you.  You said the BR words.

"I mean, there's a precedent for this.  And especially with a group of returning players."

"There's lots of circles within circles of strategy and backup plans.  And, you know, last resorts."

"That's the excitement of a returning player season."

"We're already playing the game right off the bat, and it's exciting."

Well done, John.  You sold the theme for me.  Here's your bonus check.

And now we get the cute little moment that is absolutely one of my favorite things that happens in Survivor: Caramoan.

Because Malcolm is sitting right next to Cochran during this whole little speech

And Malcolm is a bit of a smart ass

Here we go.

Boston Rob would tell everyone who he wanted to go home by touching their shoulder.  And Boston Rob is amazing.

Annnnnnnnd cue Malcolm.

And then he completely nonchalants it like it was just an accident.

Yep, never mind.  Just wanted to say hi to you.

Like I said at the start of the writeup, this is one of the cutest little background moments between two players I can think of in recent memory.  And what makes it so awesome is that NOBODY else at Tribal Council even notices it.  They just continue to prattle on about Phillip, and about paranoia, and about strategy and legacies.  And nobody even notices that Malcom practically just gave Cochran a heart attack.

They then share a quick little private laugh over their moment

What are you two laughing about?  This is Tribal Council.  This is serious.

And so there you have it.  Whenever I ask my wife (who has never missed an episode in seventeen years) why Malcolm is her all-time favorite Survivor player, she always points to this scene.  It's because of the time he almost got SURVIVOR LEGEND JOHN COCHRAN to shit in his little sunburned pants, and nobody noticed.

** Thanks to kidnifty for the Frank Garrison/FUBC picture **

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