The
Funny 115 - The Third One
#45. No, Reed's on OUR Team
San Juan Del Sur - episode 2
It's the second episode of Survivor: San Juan Del Sur, and
the players are competing in an extremely physical immunity challenge
today.
It's the old "beat the shit out of the other player with a beanbag while both of you are standing on a platform" challenge
Also known as the "Coach Wade Karate Chop Memorial"
Players from Hunahpu and Coyopa take their place at the start of each round and get ready to compete.
Kelley and Jaclyn
Natalie and Val
Reed and Josh
And it's at the start of this last matchup (Reed vs Josh) where we hear a particularly odd comment.
"Let's go, Josh!"
Yes,
for those of you who are scoring along at home, that's Drew Christy,
the beefcake/jock/mimbo of the Hunahpus. Cheering on Josh.
Who isn't actually a member of his team.
It happens very quick, and you might not have noticed it if you weren't paying attention.
But of course the editors noticed it.
In fact, they helpfully included this reaction from Drew's teammate Jon.
Just to make sure you noticed it too. :)
Now,
in general this wouldn't be that big a deal. I mean, Survivor is
a game about strangers, right? Aren't they teamed up with and
competing against people they don't really know? I mean, it's not
like it would be that unusual for a player to not know who his
teammates are during the first challenge of the game.
Oh. You say this WASN'T the first challenge of San Juan Del Sur?
Well then I take that back.
But
obviously there might be SOME under-the-radar floaters on your
tribe along the way. I mean, there's always going to be a
player who does nothing on your tribe. Someone
who never stands out in a challenge, or does anything significant
to ever help your tribe win. Clearly Reed could have been THAT
type of a player, who just never attracted any attention and who never
got noticed. I mean, THAT could be why Drew didn't know who he
was. Right?
Oh wait. Reed was the guy who solved the puzzle and won Hunahpu the first challenge.
Okay.
Well I mean sure, anyone could win ONE immunity challenge.
But it's not like Reed was the guy who volunteered on day one for
Rock, Paper, Scissors. And who voluntarily stepped up to be the
tribe's champion.
Oh wait. No, that's not true. Reed WAS the tribe spokesman in Rock, Paper, Scissors.
And look who was watching it all sassy in the background
Well
sure, anyone could step up and represent the tribe in ONE game of Rock,
Paper, Scissors. It's not like Reed ever did it twice.
Well. fuck
Drew was there to watch this one as well
Okay,
so Reed won the first challenge for the Hunahpus. And he
represented the tribe in two out of the first three games of Rock,
Paper, Scissors. But it's not like he ever did anything ELSE
around camp that you might remember him for.
HEY GUYS, WANT TO SEE HOW HIGH I CAN STRETCH?
I CALL THIS POINTING MY ANUS AT GOD
Well shit. I mean, how could you forget that?
Okay,
so Reed did ALL these things on your tribe. And for your tribe.
And arguably to your tribe. And yet you still didn't
remember him.
But
let's be fair here. Let's not overlook the fact that Survivor
is a game about twists. It's a game about swaps, and twists,
and turns, and reshuffles. So obviously something like THAT must
have happened along the way to get you all mixed up. I mean,
PLEASE tell me that a shuffle happened and you just didn't remember who
all was on your tribe. Right? Drew? Buddy?
Here are all the twists that happened prior to the Gladiator at Sea challenge in San Juan Del Sur.
Okay,
it's at THIS point that I'm starting to lose faith in my old buddy Drew
here. Maybe he really DID just not know that Reed was a member of
his tribe. Maybe he really DID pull this amazing hilarious brain
fart. But it's not like Reed was the guy who helped him negotiate
for a replacement flint. I mean, it's not like this was THAT bad.
Here Reed works with Drew to try to get a replacement flint
OH FUCK ME IN THE GOAT ASS, DREW. WHAT THE HELL?!
IT SURE IS FUN TO DO THINGS TOGETHER AND MAKE FRIENDS
ALL
these things happened prior to the moment where Drew had no idea that
Reed was a member of his team during an immunity challenge.
"Let's go, Josh!"
And at this point I can't really defend him anymore. Sorry, man. I guess it was just one of those brain farts.
"Hi, I'm Reed!"I know. I don't care."
Drew
lived with this guy for three days. They bonded. They
negotiated for flint together. Reed won challenges for them.
Reed showed them his colon.
Reed did ALL those things. Yet when push came to shove, in the immunity challenge, Drew still had no idea who he was.
And this is where I point out my favorite thing about this entry.
This writeup is sick
I
hate to do this, but you know how I mentioned how unfathomable it
is that a person could live with somebody for three days and still not
know who he was?
Well here's the fun part.
Gladiator at Sea didn't take place on day three. It took place on day SIX.
Drew lived with Reed FOR ALMOST A WEEK and he still didn't know they were tribesmates.
And now I present the "Reed is on OUR team" moment in its entirety. AS IT HAPPENED ON DAY SIX.
Now that you know all the context behind it, enjoy. :)
Today you guys will be competing in one on one showdowns
VIOLENCE!
VIOLENCE!
And finally, we come to matchup number six.
Reed vs Josh
Although...
let's be fair... it's not like Reed flamboyantly bows to his tribe
beforehand just to let them know he will be their champion.
Oh. Never mind. He does.
And this is where we get the quickie throwaway moment that the editors had a lot of fun with by including in the episode.
Off camera, Coyopa's Dale Wentworth (correctly) yells "LET'S GO, JOSH!"
Hunahpu's Drew immediately agrees with this, as he parrots...
"Let's go, Josh!"
And then the fun part.
The editors hold on this quote for a moment.
And then the camera slowly pans left.
Then Jon enters the frame.
And now we get the punchline.
Sick
Day six, ladies and gentlemen.
This happened on day six.
Thank
you to the anonymous person on Twitter who went to Tampa and created
that FUBC picture for me. If you'd like me to give you credit for
it, please email me your name!
