The
Funny 115 - The Third One
#17. Kat and the B.L.T.
One World - Episode Ten
Here's a quick little moment from One World that pretty much sums up what the Funny 115 is all about.
These are the EXACT things I'm looking for when I am researching this countdown.
So it's the tenth episode of Survivor: One World
And today is very happy day indeed
For day twenty-six is the day of the infamous food auction
Food auction! Yay!
This is where the players will be given five hundred dollars in cash. And they can use it to bid on various items of food.
And for five hundred bucks, you can buy a shitload of stuff
So anyway, let's head to the One World food auction.
Which is literally the only exciting scene in One World
As expected, the usual rules today are going to be enforced.
"You each have five hundred U.S. Dollars."
"Bidding is in increments of twenty dollars."
"You cannot pool your money."
"You cannot share your items."
"Also, somebody please explain to Kat what an increment is."
And, of course, there's always the old David Letterman rule.
"This is only an exhibition, this is not a sport. As always, ladies and gentlemen, please, no wagering."
And with that, let the good times begin.
I hope I get an increment, those sound really good
Now, the One World food auction is an especially goofy one.
If you don't remember it, here are some of the highlights.
Chelsea wins donuts and an iced coffee for $160
Sabrina wins chips, guacamole, and a margarita for $400
Leif wins a protein shake
And then makes a yummy sound
Mmmmmmmmm
Kim wins a shower
And then wins chocolate and peanut butter while bidding from the shower
At one point, Jeff offers twenty bucks for someone to pull his finger
Tarzan refuses to bid because he plans to fix the shocks on his jeep
Troyzan buys the entire damn island
And then. of course. there's this little highlight at the end.
Where Kat wins a giant cake for the tribe
And it also comes with a note
Side note: I love Kat's face in that last shot. That note is apparently the most exciting thing she has ever seen in her life.
She then reads the note out loud
"Dear Kat, Kim looks strong. Watch out for her. -xoxo, J.T."
"P.S. I'll meet you up at the merge. And if you make the merge, I'll even date you. BFFs!"
He's going to date me!
Anyway, so yeah, it's a goofy food auction.
Mmmmmm
However...
There is ONE part of the food auction that will forever go down as the single funniest moment of One World.
Which, admittedly, isn't saying all that much.
And there was much rejoicing. Yay.
But still, it managed to reach the top 17. That's not bad.
That sounds like a great increment
So here we go. The infamous "Kat and the BLT scene."
At one point, I legitimately considered this for the #1 overall entry.
I just love it.
So we're at the food auction, and the bidding is ready to begin
First up, donuts and an iced coffee
Ohhhhhhh, Kat wants that
I'm getting that
However, she does NOT get that. Chelsea outmaneuvers her and winds up getting it instead.
The faces of envy
So Kat is 0 for 1.
But never fear. There's a second item coming up.
And this is one that Kat wants even MORE.
Chips, guacamole, and a margarita with ice
Kat sees the guacamole that she wants so much, and she gets into a bidding war
"Twoooooooooo forty?"
"Threeeee twenty?"
Another
side note: I know I pick on Kat in these entries, but it's just
adorable the way that she bids. She always says it as if she's asking a
question. She makes me laugh because she's always so quirky.
In any case, Kat does NOT win the chips and guacamole. Sabrina does.
And Kat is physically pained by this
Damn you Sabrina, I wanted that increment
After two items, Kat is already visibly rattled that she can't seem to buy any food.
UGGGGGGHHHHHH
"I wanna buy something!"
And so next comes the third item.
The slightly less interesting "two bananas and a protein shake."
I don't know, if you guys want some energy or something
Sorry. Met-Rx is one of our sponsors this season, we kinda had to.
Kat isn't especially thrilled by a protein shake and some shitty bananas.
I would have preferred the margarita
But you know what? What the hell.
She just really wants to buy something.
"Twenty?"
However, for the third time in a row, she's about to get locked into a bidding war with someone.
This time, with an opponent who is far more cunning and calculated.
It's the Guillermo Vilas of auction strategy, Leif
FUCK THIS, I CAN'T BEAT LEIF
Like the great chess matches of Fischer and Spassky, Kat and Leif engage in a tête-à-tête strategy war.
And as expected, at the end, only one titan remains.
That's both check and mate, Edorsson
So Leif wins the milkshake prize.
And like in any great sporting event, to the victor go the spoils.
Here's your shitty protein shake
And this, of course, is where Leif decides to pile on the humiliation for poor Kat.
By looking right at her, and making a yummy sound
Mmmmmm
Yummmmmmmm
"Yeah yeah yeah, get your butt back over here."
At this point, Kat is now 0 for 3.
And who's gonna date someone who can't even buy any food?
And it sucks, because not only is she 0 for 3...
... but Leif just sits there two people away from her, and continues to make yummy sounds.
For Kat, this has got to be like some kind of Chinese Water Torture.
Item number four is a shower.
Complete with shampoo and toothbrush.
And this is where we get into Kat having a problem with increments.
"Twenty bucks!"
"Twenty!"
"Errrrr...."
At this point, Christina has to step in and offer a little bidding advice.
"You do forty."
Kat: "Can I do thirty?"
Christina: "No."
Alicia: "It goes in twenties."
What the fuck, this is hard
And, of course, I can't resist pointing out Leif's face of extreme bliss in that last pic.
So good
In any case, Kat doesn't win the shower either.
Surprisingly, she is outmaneuvered by Kim
So Kat is now 0 for 4 in the bidding department.
And at this point, now she is desperate.
At this point, she's just going to buy any fucking thing they throw up there
And here's where we get to the awesome part.
Finally, the prize
"A B.L.T., chips, and a cold iced tea."
Ohhhhhh, now this is something that everyone wants.
Hell yeah, I do
It is affirmative by the mention of Hades, I do
Mmmmmm, so good
Now here's the hilarious thing about this scene. I don't think Kat even knows what a B.L.T is.
I'm not even sure she knows what a sandwich is
All she knows is that she wants something. She just wants ANYTHING.
So here comes the bidding war.
"Forty!"
"A hundred?"
Crestfallen, she has to sit there now.
And watch as her friend Christina then starts to escalate.
No no no no, whatever that is I think I want it
"One sixty!"
"One eighty?"
And... what's this? Success!
All of a sudden, it appears that Christina is going to back off.
Side
note #3 in this entry: Christina makes the greatest faces. If you ever
want a good One World screencap, just look for one where Christina is
in the background reacting to something. She always makes the best
faces.
In any case, Christina backs off and stops bidding.
And just like that, it looks like Kat is finally going to win something.
In honor of Leif, she inadvertently makes a yummy face
Soooooo good
"Sold to Kat."
So Kat walks up to Jeff with her "hundred and eighty?" dollars.
And I still don't think she has any idea what she just bought
And this is where she sees what "a B.L.T." really is.
Her face is immediately overcome with pure joy.
Like the Nazis opening the Arc of the Covenant
"Yo!", she excitedly announces to everyone
Looks like the producers gave her a little something extra that she wasn't expecting
"Yo, there's BACON on there!"
Yes, that's right.
Kat is excited that they put bacon on her bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich.
And just wait until she finds out about the tomato
So Kat excitedly announces to everyone that she had no idea what she just bought.
She was simply bidding on whatever bright, shiny object they threw up there.
Alicia laughs out loud.
Kim laughs out loud from the shower. Oh, Kat.
"Did you just say there's bacon, and he clearly said that was a B.L.T.?"
This is my alliance, Jeff
BACON! YUM!
And how does Kat respond to all this?
Well by doing a little bacon dance, of course.
She's so happy
And that's what happens when you buy a B.L.T. sandwich.
And they unexpectedly put bacon on it.
This is so rad
And I'm like hell, the first time she orders a cheeseburger it's going to blow her fucking mind.
HEY GUYS, THEY GAVE ME SOME CHEESE ON IT!
And so that's the top rated One World entry on the countdown.
Thank you for saving this season, Kat.
P.S.
I can't resist pointing out there's yet ANOTHER great Kat moment of
confusion during this auction scene. You might have forgotten about
this other one.
It's when Jeff announces they can all bid on letters from home
Kat sees that they all have letters, and she loudly announces...
"What, someone even WROTE me?"
Not only does Kat not know what a B.L.T. is...
She also apparently didn't know that she had a loved one.
Hey guys, there's words in this letter!
