Norm Macdonald
The Last Dangerous Castmember

I warned you about these ones. Get ready.

Wednesday on CBS's "This Morning" program, correspondent Eleanor Mondale went toy shopping with Kato Kaelin. According to producers, it was part of a new segment on the show called "Let's Punish the Audience."
11/22/97 - S23E7

The play "Hiroshima", a tribute to the victims of the first atomic bomb, with music and singing by Yoko Ono, opened in New York City this week. One tearful Japanese survivor of the attack, who attended the premiere, called the play, quote, "the most horrifying experience of my life."
10/4/97 - S23E2

In California, Christian Brando was released from state prison Monday, after serving nearly five years for killing his sister's boyfriend. Meanwhile, his father, Marlon Brando, ate nine pizzas.
1/13/96 - S21E10

This week, talk show host Kathie Lee Gifford addressed published reports that her husband had an extra-marital affair, saying, quote, "Frank did, and always does, what is right." Kathie Lee's statement has been widely interpreted as a public admission that her husband beats her.
5/17/97 - S22E20

Action star Arnold Schwarzenegger is reportedly planning to appear in an upcoming production of the Broadway musical "The King and I." Schwarzenegger says that, in contrast to other actors' portrayals of the King of Siam, his will be really, really horrible.
10/4/97 - S23E2

Last week, Duchess of York Sarah Ferguson visited the Big Apple and showed off her fourteen-pound weight loss. Hopefully this will not interfere with her official duties of sitting on her fat ass all day long.
4/8/95 - S20E17

Skater Tonya Harding, banned from competing for the United States because of her part in the Nancy Kerrigan attack, received a setback this week when her request to skate for Norway was also rejected. However, Harding remains optimistic that she'll get the okay to compete for the republic of White-trash-istan.
2/8/97 - S22E12

Washington power twosome Mary Matalin and James Carville are expecting their first baby in July. No one knows if the baby will be a Democrat or a Republican, but doctors are sure of one thing - it will be weird looking.
2/25/95 - S20E14

Sources in Hollywood report the on-again, off-again relationship between actor Johnny Depp and supermodel Kate Moss is on again, and that Depp and Moss are now engaged. According to her friends, Moss is so excited, she hasn't eaten a thing in twenty-three years.
10/18/97 - S23E3

Well, Gary Busey left the hospital this week after overdosing on cocaine last Friday. Doctors say Busey is okay and he should be back in the hospital in no time.
5/13/95 - S20E20

Wellll, it's Oscar time once again, and 'Breaking the Waves' star Emily Watson was nominated for Best Actress. Asked to comment, Watson said, "Who the hell am I? I've never heard of myself!"
2/15/97 - S22E13


Well, for the second week in a row, Richard Gere's new film "Primal Fear" was number one at the box office. Leaving many Hollywood insiders to wonder, "Hey, uh, you think that gerbil story is true?"
4/20/96 - S21E18

In the new movie, Mrs. Winterbourne, talk show host Ricki Lake plays the part of a young mother-to-be. According to the film's producers, Ms. Lake was so serious about achieving a realistic pregnant look, she forced herself to lose thirty pounds.
4/13/96 - S21E17

According to published reports, MTV news anchor Tabitha Soren has been romantically linked with journalist Michael Lewis. Soren denies the reports, claiming she doesn't have time for a boyfriend, because she's too busy pretending not to be stupid.
5/18/96 - S21E20

In other entertainment news, a religious group in Chile is trying to ban a new Claudia Schiffer film, which features explicit lesbian sex scenes. According to the group, sex between two women is an abomination before God. Almost as blasphemous as sex between a woman and David Copperfield.
10/18/97 - S23E3

In a recent interview, Christopher Reeve said that Robin Williams' comedy helped convince him to go on living. He then added that Pauly Shore's comedy made him pray for the sweet release that death would bring.
3/16/96 - S21E15

Former Wilson Phillips member Carnie Wilson’s new talk show kicked off this month. According to Carnie, her show will be different from the others, in that guests will be treated with respect and dignity. And then she will eat them.
9/30/95 - S21E1

Well I guess we've officially crossed the line into nasty. So let's continue the trend with this next page. Where Norm attempts to get NBC as much hate mail as possible.

I call this next page, "Norm Dares Them to Fire Him."

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