We're not done with O.J. yet. Here is Page 3 of nothing but O.J. jokes.
In his civil court deposition this week, O.J. Simpson denied under oath that he ever punched, kicked, or slapped his ex-wife Nicole. Oh great. As if O.J. isn't busy enough tracking down the real killers, now he's gotta track down the real wife beater, too.
2/10/96 - S21E12
O.J. Simpson's lawyers have decided to skip hearings on DNA evidence, and go right to trial. Asked why they did this, the lawyers replied, "We want to get OJ acquitted as speedily as possible, so he can get back to doing what he does best: Killing people."
12/17/94 - S20E9
O.J. pal Al Cowlings said this week that, in looking for the truth in the O.J. Simpson case, he sometimes talks to a picture of Nicole Brown Simpson. Something that, in the past, would have gotten him killed by O.J.
2/25/95 - S20E14
O.J. Simpson's new fitness video was released this week. And hitting the shelves next week, Simpson's newest video: Dorf on Stalking.
10/1/94 - S20 E2
O.J. Simpson had been discussing marriage with girlfriend Paula Barbieri, but reportedly she has called the wedding off. Her fear was that if they married, she would be brutally murdered. (audience laughs) And then... someone would try to pin it on O.J.
10/28/95 - S21E4
Dismissed Simpson juror Jeanette Harris revealed in interviews this week that the jury is torn by dissension, and is already divided into two camps: Those who think he is guilty, and those who are really, really stupid.
4/15/95 - S20E18
Well, in a questionable move by the defense team this week, O.J. Simpson demonstrated how to stab two people at the same time.
5/13/95 - S20E20
Well, in a sworn deposition this week, O.J. Simpson claimed that he never, ever beat, choked, or hit his ex-wife with a closed or open fist. Luckily for O.J., lawyers forgot to ask if he'd ever cut her head off.
2/17/96 - S21E13
More bad news for O.J. Simpson. This week, a Los Angeles Court ordered him to turn over his Heisman Trophy to the Goldman Family. In addition, the same court may order Simpson to surrender a coffee mug inscribed "World's Greatest Husband."
10/4/97 - S23E1
In sworn testimony this week, Paula Barbieri admitted that she had broken up with O.J. Simpson the very night Nicole Brown Simpson was killed. Boy, that had to be a tough day for O.J., huh? First he gets dumped by his girlfriend, then Colombian hitmen kill his wife.
12/16/95 - S21E9
This week on NBC's Dateline, three members of the O.J. Simpson jury explained their "not guilty" votes. And argued that if Simpson had killed his wife, there should have been bloodstains all over his gate, front door, and light switches. Also this week, Simpson friend Al Cowlings released his video, "How to Get Bloodstains off Gates, Front Doors, and Light Switches."
1/20/96 - S21E11
The announcement of the O.J. civil verdict came toward the end of President Clinton's annual State of the Union address. And, to many observers, completely overshadowed the event. Even the President was distracted during his speech, waiting to hear exactly how much it costs to kill your wife.
2/8/97 - S22E12
In England, where he spoke at Oxford University, O.J. Simpson defended actor Marlon Brando's criticism of Hollywood Jews. Later, from his island hideaway, Brando sent O.J. a telegram, which read, "You're not helping!"
5/18/96 - S21E20
This week in the O.J. Simpson trial, after grisly photos of the murdered Nicole Brown Simpson were shown in court, O.J. turned his head away and wept. It was at that moment that he realized he would never be able to kill her again.
5/6/95 - S20E19
Next up, I have one last page I just called Miscellaneous Norm Jokes. Then after that we end with my favorites.