Not approved by the FDA
The 115 Funniest Things to Ever Happen on Survivor
#11. The Return of the Fafaru
All-Stars - Episode 14
There is no way I can describe this moment and manage to do it justice.
I'm sorry but I just can't. This is one
of those wonderful visual moments that All-Stars is most famous for,
it's one of those "blink and you'll miss
it" moments of spontaneous hilarity, and there's no way you'll be able
to appreciate it if you don't actually
see it for yourself.
So go out and buy the All-Stars DVD, just for this moment alone. I
promise you won't regret it.
To be honest, I know I do my fair share of All-Stars bashing in my
Survivor writeups. I'll admit it, I do. But I do
have to give that season credit from a comedic standpoint. All-Stars is
easily one of the
funniest seasons overall, and that's mostly
because it has lots of referential callbacks. All-Star Survivor is full
of jokes from old seasons, it's the only
season that could possibly do this, and most of these moments really
are pretty funny when the editors manage to
handle them right.
So anyway here's my favorite callback joke, and the moment that I
consider to be the comedic apex of Survivor:
All-Stars. Don't blink, or you are going to miss it. It's
time for the return of the fafaru!
Not approved by the FDA
You remember fafaru, don't you? It was the putrid-smelling, raw,
sewage-like fish chunks that the players
had to gag down during the second episode of Survivor:
Marquesas. Fafaru was probably the most disgusting
food item they have ever featured on Survivor, people still talk about
its disgusting smell to this day, and it was
notorious for giving us this image, which I'm sure
everybody remembers from Survivor: Marquesas.
That's right, it's our old friend Boston Rob Mariano. He couldn't
handle the disgusting fafaru in Marquesas. He
puked it up into a great big pile of bile-y white goo, and it was
the single most humiliating moment of his
Survivor career. Nobody ever forgets Rob barfing up a half-eaten piece
of fafaru, and I'm sure he never
forgot about it either. It's the type of thing you are just never going
to live down
over the course of your life.
And that's where we come to the single funniest moment from Survivor:
All-Stars.
It's the fourteenth episode of All-Stars, and the players are in the
middle of the gross food challenge. All their
relatives have come out to play, everybody is having a lot of laughs,
and Boston Rob is having a wonderful time
laughing and joking with his brother. In fact, things could not be
going better for Boston Rob at this moment
in the game. He has complete control of the tribe, he has handled every
strategic move with the greatest of ease,
and there's really very little right now that can stop him.
And that's when Jeff brings out the fafaru.
Rob is sitting there, just smiling and laughing with his brother. Then
he suddenly catches a whiff of the approaching
fafaru. And Rob's face immediately drops. The grin disappears from his
face, his whole demeanor turns immediately
into dread seriousness, and it's one of the funniest f'ing things I
have
ever seen on TV. Rob's face literally changes
from exhilaration, to fear, to dread, in the time it took you to read
this sentence. The minute he sees his old
arch rival (the fafaru) again, it's like he suddenly doesn't want to be
there anymore. And it kills me EVERY
SINGLE TIME I SEE IT.
I so wish I could upload this clip to YouTube, just so you could see
it. But I don't know how to do that. The
best I can do is post the frame-by-frame screen caps from All-Stars.
And even though they are pretty good, even
the screen caps can't begin to do this moment justice. There's just no
way to convey how fast (and how drastically)
Rob's expression changes when he sees Jeff walk out with that fafaru.
It's just something you have to see for
yourself.
Needless to say this is one of my very favorite moments on the Funny
115.
Rob is laughing and smiling with his brother. All is right in the
world.
Uh oh. What's that smell?
Is that...? Is that...fafaru?
Rob makes an identification. His face drops.
The grin is gone
He freezes in mortal terror.
Dead serious
You might not think this deserves the #11 spot on the countdown, but
you have to believe me. This could honestly
be #1. Just see it for yourself before you judge. Because if you
actually know the backstory behind Rob and the
fafaru, there's no possible way you won't laugh when you see this. It
really is that fricking funny. Just trust me!
P.S. Yes, those screen captures are almost frame-by-frame. That's how
fast it happens on TV. Rob's face drops
and changes in literally about a second and a half.
P.P.S. Yes this was Mario's second "golden moment" on the Funny 115.
That means it was a personal
favorite moment that I didn't think anybody would be able to predict.
But I stand by this one 100%, just like
I stand by the final "golden moment" at #4. Like this one, that one is
almost entirely visual as well. But no, it's not from All-Stars.
Blauggggggh!
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