Funny 115 - version 2.0
Heroes vs Villains - episode 9
If you have ever watched America's Funniest Home Videos, you will know
that there are two types of videos that usually win the "video of the
week" top prize.
The winning video on AFV each week is
almost always either an "Oh my God that kid took a basketball to the
face!" slapstick video, or it is an "Oh man wasn't that sweet when the
puppy fell asleep on the kitten?" cute video.
vs. cuteness. Saying "Oooooh" vs. saying "Awwwwwww."
you go. For more than twenty years, those are the yin and the
yang when it comes to judging a truly great comedy moment.
Here's a rare example of both. A puppy taking a nutshot.
do I bring up the "ooooh vs. awwww" school of comedy? Well
because this is a great "awwww" moment. It might not be as
out loud funny as Shane walking around with his junk hanging out, or
Ace taking a watermelon to the face in Gabon, but it is one of my all
time favorite "cute" moments in Survivor history, and I have always
Oh yeah, and the other great thing about this moment is that it is
the culmination of an amazing nineteen-season
arc, which is by far the most impressive story arc I have ever written
about on either the first Funny 115 or the new Funny 115. The
editors really worked overtime to bring us this one. It could
the single most epic storyline in Survivor history.
here it is. The story of Jerri and Colby. The
dysfunctional lovers on TV since George-Michael and Egg (Ann).
Colby and Jerri - star-crossed lovers
In the opening episode of Survivor:
The Australian Outback
(which, for you kids out there, was 17 seasons before Russell
Hantz invented Survivor), we were introduced to a pair of
looking kids named Colby and Jerri.
They were young. They were beautiful. They were on
the same tribe.
And sure enough, they quickly hit it off.
Colby and Jerri hanging out and flirting
and Jerri quickly became the first true "couple" in Survivor history
(no, Greg and Colleen don't count). And it became a major
storyline in Australia. Pretty much every time we cut to a
about Ogakor in the first couple of episodes, sure enough there were
Colby and Jerri, hanging out and just flirting away.
Jerri gives Colby a back rub
Colby gives Jerri a piggy back
anyway, for three episodes we have the first power couple in Survivor
history, hanging out 24/7 and pretty much doing lots of couple things
But alas... that's when the honeymoon starts to fall apart.
Colby tells us he is nervous about aligning with Jerri
Jerri tells us she is wary of Colby, he is starting to pull away
Keith warns Colby that Jerri will eat him alive
Colby decides he doesn't want to be in an alliance with Jerri.
He would much rather align with Keith and Tina.
So he lies to Jerri to throw her off the track...
"It'll be you, me and Amber to the end."
And then what follows is... well, for lack of a better term... eighteen
seasons of two people who really don't like each other.
Colby votes out Jerri's friend Mitchell
Jerri begs Colby to come back to the voting bloc
Colby tells her to shove it
Jerri being annoying in the shelter
Colby pissed off that he has to listen to Jerri yap all day
Colby getting more and more angry that he has to be around Jerri:
"Bring on Kucha, get rid of these goons."
Jerri blows an important reward challenge in episode 6, and Colby
At this point there is no turning back
Colby dumps Jerri on her ass during a reward challenge
Colby dumps Jerri on her ass again during a reward challenge
Jerri and Colby win a "date" together as a reward
Jerri tells us how romantic it is out here with him
Colby disagrees. Romance with Jerri? Ewww.
Jerri looks longingly at her Hershey Bar
And then, finally, in episode 10, the Jerri-Colby star-crossed lover
relationship officially comes to an end.
When he blindsides her
"Jerri, Jerri, Jerri, Jerri, Jerri. That knock you keep
hearing on your door? It’s checkout time"
So anyway, that's Survivor: The Australian Outback.
But wait, there's more!
seasons later, in Survivor: All-Stars, Jerri and Colby return!
They both come back to play again as All-Stars, and their
on the beach in episode one leads to one of my favorite moments of the
entire season. In fact, I already wrote about
it on the original Funny 115.
Hi Cowboy! I'm back!
Shit. Her again.
Now obviously because you know how Survivor works, you can pretty much
guess what happens the second time around.
comes into All-Stars guns a-blazin', and she pretty much makes it her
life mission to destroy Colby and get revenge for the way he humiliated
her three years ago.
Which she does, when she votes him out of the game in episode 7.
"Is this a revenge vote? Hell yeah."
Revenge, thy name is Manthey
"Yes I feel like I'm being evil right now, but boy does it feel good."
gone. I mean, what more can I say? I've officially
lived out one of my goals in this game. And that is to make
longer than Colby."
She even references his famous voting comments for her in Australia.
"Knock, knock. You hear that sound, Colby? That's
the bellboy. And he just took all of my baggage away."
"My closet is now clean. My Survivor closet is now clean."
So anyway, that's round two of the Colby-Jerri pissing match.
Jerri votes him out of All-Stars, and then laughs about it.
you know, you would think that would have been the end of it.
With pretty much any other feud in Survivor history, Jerri
getting revenge on Colby in All-Stars would have marked the inevitable
end of the storyline.
But nope. Not this one. Not the Jerri-Colby feud.
This particular feud is special.
see, for some reason, around season 16, the producers decided
pretty much every other Survivor season was now going to be an All-Star
season. I have no idea why they thought this was a good idea,
from this point on now we're apparently just going to go with the
veterans. Apparently casting new people is just way too
And what does that mean to the single most iconic male-female feud in
you got it! Ten years later, eighteen seasons after they
met and had their little tiff in Australia, Jerri and Colby are now
coming back to play Survivor again!
Jerri and Colby - now officially known as Grandma and Grandpa Survivor
Colby and Jerri never really had all that much interaction in Heroes vs
Villains. But they did have one particularly memorable
interaction, and it is the #101 entry on the Funny 115.
might find yourself wondering, why did Mario include this big long-ass
writeup for a moment that is only about two seconds long in season 20?
Why couldn't he have done this entry in about 1/10th the
and about 1/10th the effort? After all, who really gives a
about what happened to Jerri and Colby in Australia and All-Stars?
Well I'll tell you who gives a shit: me.
is no way you can appreciate the irony of the following scene, there is
no way you can appreciate how cute it is, and what an adorable little
"awwww" moment it is, until you know the backstory of Jerri
Because once you know how much they have hated each other
in the past, once you have all the details of their long running blood
feud, once you how much baggage Jerri once had over the way that Colby
backstabbed her in Australia, you will appreciate how cute and
significant the following moment is:
episode 9 of Heroes vs. Villains, and the two tribes are about to
compete in an important reward challenge. Whoever can balance
the pegs the longest wins reward for their tribe.
look at that! Due to the random selection process, look who
be competing against each other for reward today. Jerri
the guy with the giant white teeth.
Seriously, this is one of my favorite subtle moments in Heroes vs.
what happens when the two people from the most notorious and bitter
feud in Survivor history wind up next to each other in a reward
challenge? Do they taunt each other? Do they
curt nod and barely make eye contact? Do they refuse to even
acknowledge each others' existence?
leans across the barrier wall, and in the sweetest, most
and happiest and most adorable voice possible, she says:
(sweetly) "Hey Colby."
Sorry, I don't care what anybody else says. That's cute.
I have heard a lot of rumors that Colby and Jerri actually
huge reunion and reconciliation at one point during Heroes vs Villains,
but because it didn't fit into the Russell storyline, the
decided not to show it. Yeah, good call. Wouldn't
show the resolution of a story arc that has lasted 19 seasons, starring
two of the most iconic characters. Yeah, excellent choice.
Wouldn't want to show that at all.
Frankly I'm amazed that they even left in this moment.
Want to see the perfect resolution to the 19 season
story arc? Well here you go. One picture pretty
When Colby is voted out of Heroes vs Villains, Jerri cries