The
Funny 115 - version 2.0
#105. damn.
Fans vs. Favorites - all season long
It's episode six of Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites, and Erik and Tracy
are having a conversation in the woods about how screwed the two of
them are at the moment.
"We're in the minority, we have no power, and we're about to be voted
out. Also, a lot of people keep confusing me with Mary, and
it is
pissing me off."
Mary Tracy is going over all the handicaps that the
Fans have in the
game at
that moment, and that's when she drops the hammer on poor Erik.
She informs the hapless ice cream scooper that because he's
so likable, and because he's such a good athlete, and because he has
such adorable tiny green shorts, that he is a very big threat to the
Favorites. People like Ozzy and Amanda and Cirie simply don't
want anything to do with him.
"Erik, you are a threat. They are going to vote you out."
So anyway, Mary Tracy lowers the hammer on poor
Erik, and as you can guess, the news kind of annoys him.
The
Favorites are going to vote him out? Him?
The Favorites are
going to vote out sweet young uber Survivor junkie Erik?
After all that he did to get here?
These bastards are going to crush his dreams this early on in the
game?? How dare they!!
As you can imagine, he hears this news, and it quickly pisses him off.
It might look like Erik is unemotional about this news, since he face
doesn't really change or anything. But don't be fooled by the
CGI Brett special effects the editors are trying to use here.
This kid is hot. This kid is furious.
This kid is about unleash the rage.
And he does so, about 10 seconds later.
The minute the fury has built up inside him to Judd Sergeant
and Shane Powers level of white-hot magma, the minute there is no place
for the anger to go but out, the kid finally erupts. He
unleashes the most spectacular rage we have seen in the first
twenty-two seasons of Survivor.
Behold.
And witness the fury!
"..... damn."
Ha ha. Seriously, there is no way I can do the wimpiness of
Erik's "damn" justice in print.
You just have to hear it
for yourself. It is easily one of the tiniest, little
wimpiest curse epithets
I have ever heard in my life.
Just imagine if a mouse was angry at you, and if he walked up to you
and shook his fist at you and told you he was going to kick your ass in
a fight. Take that level of authority and rage and anger, and
divide it by three, and that's about how angry and scary Erik
sounds when he squeaks out his little "damn."
He sounds like Hannah Montana if she dropped her
pencil.
damn.
I have to say, the first time I heard Erik's wimpy little "damn",
I cracked up. I couldn't believe that sound could come out a
grown adult human male. But my reaction was nothing compared
to my wife's reaction. When she heard Erik's "damn"
she practically rolled off of the couch and fell onto the floor.
She made me rewind the scene so she could hear it over and
over and over.
In fact, at this point, this could be her #1 all time favorite Survivor
unintentional comedy moment.
damn.
But wait, you say that Erik's wimpy little "damn."
isn't funny enough to make the Funny 115? You think it
wasn't that funny because it only happened in one meaningless little
scene during Micronesia?
Well let me just dispel that notion right out of your head, mister
Doubty McGee.
Because Erik's wimpy little "damn." -does- show up
again.
It shows up again two episodes later.
In fact, let's just jump to that magical little second scene right now.
It is the first two minutes of episode eight, and the Malakals are
returning to their camp after Tribal Council
And
who is the first person to discover that their fire has gone out when
they were away? Why it's the guy with the wimpiest little
"damn"
in the world, of course.
Erik (offscreen) unleashes the fury
Okay, okay, so the second "damn." wasn't as
great as the first (which you will see when you watch the Youtube
clips.)
But the third
"damn"...?
Oh yes. There was a third one. Gifts like this don't come
around only twice.
And what is so awesome about the third one is where it showed up.
It is the thirteenth episode and Erik has just been voted out
It is one of the most humiliating exits in Survivor history
"Nice move, tard."
*smuff*
And
what does Erik say in his final words? What is the very first
word he uses to sum up his Survivor experience, and his humiliating
exit from the game that he loves so much?
You guessed it.
"damn."
In any case, Erik and the wimpiest little "damn"
in the history of the English language were a lock for the Funny 115
from the very first minute I sat down to create the countdown.
If
for no other reason than my wife can't take him seriously because every
time we watch Fans vs Favorites she just sits there and waits for him
to get angry at something. And then she gets into a giggle
fit.
And then we try to imitate his rage in the squeakiest, wimpiest little
voice possible.
Try
it yourself. It's a fun new game you can play when
you are
watching Micronesia with your friends. See
how wimpy
you can sound when you see Erik get mad at something.
Try to
make your rage sound even weenier and more impotent than his.
It is a fun
party game.
Erik Reichenbach goes apeshit
