23. Coach doing Coach things

The Funny 115 - version 2.0

** Special Note ** - If you want to read this entry with background music, go here. Trust me, it is a whole different experience with music involved. :)

#23. Coach doing Coach things
Every day ever, 24/7, since the time of King Charlemagne

Okay now this is going to be a fun entry.

The reason it is going to be fun because there is hardly going to be any writing in it. This one is pretty much all pictures.

Um Coach? What the fuck was that?

Yes, that's right. It is time for one of my favorite entries on the Funny 115. The one dedicated to Coach just doing... well, what I like to call "Coach things."

So here we go. Sit back, relax, and enjoy my favorite pictures of Coach doing Coach things in the background. Or Coach doing Coach things in the foreground. Or Coach just deciding to Coach up for no particular reason.

I had a blast coming up with all these screen caps. Hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

I'm here to defeat the Visigoths and to chew bubblegum. And I'm all out of bubblegum.

P.S. And before you ask, no this isn't the Coach character entry. This is just the Coach picture entry. Dude is so entertaining he basically gets two character entries.

Hello fair maiden. Might you join me in my chambers for some mead and some sex?

And so here we go. Time for some Coach things.

For the kingdom!

No reason.

One of these things is not like the others

Maybe the greatest picture ever

Bowflex 2000

Dear CBS. Thank you for me.

The king of the skies

Take me, lord

An Erinn tribute

What the hell is that?

Guys, are you seeing this? Seriously, what the f?

Curse you Ostrogoths!

Knife hand

Um, Stephen called. He said it's not that exciting.

Who's the man?

King of the fish

But not king of the squirrels

An artsy shot

Primal yell

The last thing Chuck Norris ever saw

Raise the roof

Hey guys, I think we are missing a tribe member. Who's missing?

Yeah, baby. Dragon! Slayer!

Good one!

I'm the king the world!

Oh, that wasn't pretty.

Perfect time for a little slayer move

Who's still the man?

Untitled

One of these things is still not like the others

Little kendo practice with my Dragon Cane? Don't mind if I do!

I will punch you, ocean.

Coach, seriously. Knock it off.

Oh I will not knock it off

Lord of the sun

Lord of the skies

Lord of the fields

Lord of the helicopter

Here's a great quote from user DragonSlayerCoach at Survivor Sucks: "My favourite picture is the HvV helicopter scene. Everyone is looking out the heli, looking at all the amazing sights, in shock and awe of how beautiful it is. Then you have Coach, just sitting there doing his Coach things thinking about how awesome he is."

Coach Wade, now complete with Force Lightning

Woah.

The fallen messiah

Coach, please don't hit me!

Mugging at the reunion show

Upstaging Probst in the background

A thousand words

The kicking peacock

The sliding panther

The submissive narwhal

The inquisitive gerbil

Seriously Coach. Haven't you gotten enough attention? Can we end this entry? Please?

No!

The sleeping cobra

The upright beagle

The man who moves so fast that he starts to blur

Like in the Matrix

*sigh*

The wandering monk

The hamming it up in the audience fist bringer

The traveling kiltsman

The guy who upstages the final three

The invisible swordsman

Good lord.

And I let this guy grind me?

Okay okay. That's enough. Hope you enjoyed that.

By the way, before I go, I want to highlight my two favorite "Coach doing Coach things" moments of all time.

The first one was summed up quite nicely by a guy named Neal in the Funny 115 guestbook:

"One moment I'm really hoping for on the countdown is when Coach cheated to win one of the wrestling rounds, and he spent what seemed like an hour flexing and celebrating his victory while Jeff yelled at him that it didn't count. God, I laughed forever at that."

Well here you go, Neal. My favorite Coach doing Coach things moment #1!

Coach wins the wrestling match against Rupert

No no no.

YEAH BABY!

YEAH!!!!!

No, Coach. No!

Yeah! Dragon Pose!

The Fist of Justice!

Coach! Knock it off! It didn't count!

Rrrrrrrrr

*sigh*

More screaming. YEAH!

I SAID YEAH!!!!!!!

Are you done yet?

No. Apparently not.

Good point

Finally Jeff gets his attention. Um, Coach? You used your arm. The point doesn't count.

Whaaaaaaaat? No flexing?

Beaten by a bunch of rules

And then we come to my #2 favorite Coach doing Coach things moment of all time. A lot of people don't remember this one, but it is a personal favorite.

This is from episode 8 of Heroes vs Villains. This is where Coach just decides to start doing Coach things in the middle of a confessional. For no reason.

Who knows, maybe it just seemed like a good idea at the time.

Coach is giving a confessional, and then right there in the middle of a sentence...

He is making a point with his arm...

And he decides to turn it into a Coach thing

Oh look. Why, it's my muscular arm.

Let's see what happens if I make it into a little fist

Aw yeah

And that, my friends. Is how you end a confessional.

And so there you have it. My favorite pictures of Coach doing Coach things. At least through the first two times he ever played Survivor. Lord knows how much ridiculous shit he is going to pull in Survivor: South Pacific. Frankly I'm not really sure the universe can take anymore.

Wait, what's that? You say you want more?

Well how about this?

I asked some of my favorite Survivors to do their best impression of Coach doing Coach things. Let's see which Survivor can come up with the best Coach homage.

Okay Stephen, that's pretty good.

Not bad, BobDawg.

Well that one's a little scene specific, but I appreciate the effort.

Um, that sucks. But I'll put it in the entry because I am scared of you.

Um no, Coach doesn't smile. Back to the classroom, Yau Man.

Colby manages to nail the intensity. Hey, and the water too. Good job, Colby!

Um, no. Nice try, psychopath.

Good effort, Becky

Ooh, a rare double Dragon Pose. 10 points for ~~Gryffindor~~ Tagi.

Mother Africa also knows Dragon Chi

Ew, Butch. That's just wrong.

Awesome. Best one yet. Thanks Lex.

Perfect. If Coach sang show tunes.

Rupert for the win

Wow, these are getting better. Good work Tom.

And finally, we come to the winner.

Richard Hatch. You are the greatest Coach impersonator in the land. Way to go, you always were the king of Survivor.

Respect

P.S. Sorry, I can't resist. There is just too much good stuff for this entry.

Here are a bunch of photoshops of Coach doing Coach things in the background of famous historical pictures. I asked if anyone could photoshop these for me over at Survivor Sucks, and two posters named Nemo78 and HalberdOwl came up with a bunch of great ones. I know this entry is getting long, but these were too funny to leave out. Enjoy.