The Funny 115 - version 2.0
should they vote out tonight at Tribal Council? Should they
out Yul, the master politician? Or what about Becky, the
of excitement? Or what about Sundra, the other one?
should be the person to go home on the very last day before the million
In the end, the Aitutongas decide that they are going to split
the vote, 2-2. Two votes wind up going to Becky, two to
After 38 days of Survivor, we are going to have a tie.
Vote 1: Becky
Becky reacts with outrage
Vote 2: Sundra
Vote 3: Becky
Becky drops an f bomb
according to the rules of Survivor, when you have a 2-2 at the final
four, what happens next is that you are forced to compete
in a tiebreaker. Since this vote is always
going to be
deadlocked at 2, there is no point in having a revote and forcing
Sundra and Becky to argue their case and go through this whole
redundant process again.
Nope, when the vote is tied 2-2 at the final four, that means
it is time for a tiebreaker.
And today's tiebreaker challenge is...?
right. If Sundra or Becky want to stay alive and fight for a
million dollars tomorrow, first they are going to have to win a
firemaking challenge. Right here, right now, at Tribal
It is do or die, winner takes all, first one to light a
successful campfire gets to stay in the game. The one who
to light a fire goes home.
This challenge is for all the marbles.
Becky hears this and goes apeshit
"Please take your seats over behind the firemaking stations."
"You both have the same materials. You both have flint and steel, in the form of a knife. You both have the same amount of coconut husk, and wooden kindling."
Butch hears this and gets an erection
And there they go.
Now at this point what I was planning to do was show you each and every minute of the famous Cook Islands firemaking challenge. What I was planning to do was document it here with picture after picture, and show you just how long it took Sundra and The South Korean Sparkplug to finally make a fire.
That sounded like a good idea
at first. It sounded great on paper. At least, it
great until I sat down to actually plan out the entry.
when I sat down to actually start writing this entry, that is when I
finally realized something.
I realized that I don't think the internet has enough
bandwidth for me to write an entry like that.
'Cause this challenge was long.
long did it take Sundra and Becky to finally make a fire?
they didn't actually say it in the episode,
but from what we saw in the subtitles it was least an hour and a half.
And it was probably closer to two hours. In fact,
did it take the two of them around two hours to make a
one point they actually nearly RAN OUT OF FLINT.
about an hour into the challenge they practically fucking ran out of
not only nearly ran out of flint, later in the challenge she
actually did manage to RUN OUT OF MATCHES. Becky and Sundra
so hopeless with flint, and so bad at making a fire, that Jeff Probst
had no choice but to call in the mercy rule and go full retard
them. He gave them each a book of matches that even a five
old could operate, and even then neither one of them could figure out
how to make a fire. It took Becky nearly an hour to make a
even after she had been given a book of matches.
It was the most pathetic thing I have ever seen on Survivor
that wasn't named Lill.
I said, there's no way I can show you the full firemaking challenge
from Cook Islands, because I don't have the time to post it all.
And I am also pretty sure that the internet doesn't
have that much bandwidth. But here are the
you to enjoy. Since, you know, I'm sure
it's way more
interesting in print than it must have been in person.
So anyway... here are the "highlights."
Sundra tries to make a spark with flint. It doesn't work.
And the crowd goes wild
And the crowd goes wild
I love this picture
"Congratulations, Becky. You now advance to the final vote tomorrow."
Becky lets loose and celebrates
so there you have it. One of the weirdest, stupidest, and
randomly awkward moments in Survivor history. Becky and
the non firemaking firemaking challenge. It is truly one of
the great unintentionally funny moments in...
"Excuse me. Mario?"
Well hey there, look at that! It's our old friend, Gervase Peterson!
How are you doing these days, Gervase? What are you
up to? We haven't seen you around the Funny 115 in a while.
"I love the countdown, dog. I just wanted to say something about this entry."
Sure, absolutely, no problem. Fire away. We always love it when you stop by.
"Remember back in Borneo, when I said that women were the stupidest thing on the planet next to cows? Remember how I got into so much trouble for that comment?"
As well you should have. That wasn't a very nice
"Well look at it this way. In 1871, Mrs. O’Leary’s cow accidentally kicked over a lantern, starting the Great Chicago Fire. This was one of the worst fire disasters in United States history."
"Well, in 2006, with flint and matches and a million dollars on the line, Becky and Sundra could not intentionally start a fire for several hours."
Yeah I just wrote about that. What's your point?
"My point is... women might not be as stupid as cows, but cows are definitely better at starting fires."
Oh now that is just terrible.
"F you, Joel!"
Back to The Funny 115 - version 2.0