The Funny 115 - version 2.0

#38.  Bob's pelvic thrust (The Gaboner)
Gabon - episode 5

This is one of those quickie little visual moments that happens really fast and most people might not even remember.  But if you have ever been on the website Survivor Sucks, you will know it is a Sucks favorite.

Also, because it involves Bob (of all people), it is also a Mario favorite.

It's episode five of Survivor: Gabon, and Jeff is explaining the rules of today's reward challenge

And then he gets to the part that everyone is excited about

"Wanna know what you're playing for?"

"Yes!   Yes!   We do!"

"You've been out here for thirteen days.  Your taste buds are screaming for something new."

"Yay!  Food!"  *orgasm*

"Today's reward will satisfy that craving."


And the fantastic food reward of the day is.......?


"Your own herb garden."

*disappointed groan*



I could end the moment right there and it would already be Funny 115 worthy.  Just right there, it is already one of my favorite little quickie Survivor moments of all time.  Jeff Probst builds up this fantastic amazing feast of a reward, Corinne and the others have visual orgasms over the fact that they are about to eat, and then everyone's hopes are dashed when Jeff pulls the curtain aside and it is just a fucking pile of leaves.  Just classic.  Capped off by the most pathetic sad little groan ("ohhhhhhhhh") I have heard in 22 seasons of Survivor.  

The players go from squealy to bored in the span of about five seconds.  Their reaction sounds like Probst just told them that Survivor was canceled and that they weren't getting paid.

Corinne wants to tear the herb garden's vocal cords out

Right there, that would already be enough to be a top 100 entry on the Funny 115.

But... wait a minute.  This isn't a top 100 entry.  This is a top 40 entry.  This is an A+ top forty elite Funny 115 moment.

Why does this scene suddenly jump up from a pretty good Funny 115 moment into a really good elite Funny 115 moment?

Well because of what happens next, of course.

Bob sees the herb garden behind the curtain and he gets very excited

In fact, some would say he gets very very excited.

So he drops down his arms and....

Sexual pelvic thrust!

And there you go.  One of the most unlikely and bizarrely awkward moments in Survivor history.  Jeff tells the players they are playing for a shitty herb garden.   The players groan audibly because they don't want anything to do with a shitty herb garden.   Well, except for Bob, who really really DOES want it.  Bob wants the shitty herb garden so much that he gets a Gaboner over it.

A Gaboner

Because my writeup can't possibly do justice to how awkward this little moment is, here it is in its entirety in full animated gif form.  Now you can watch Action Hips Bob in all of his sexual glory.  

Beware though, this is very hypnotic.


And there you have it.  One of my personal favorite entries on the Funny 115.   Bob pops a Gaboner over vegetables.  Or, as a user at Sucks named Kitty Pryde1 summed up very succinctly in an email to me, "Bob's pelvic thrust at the notion of getting an herb garden is just classic."

Bob the Impaler

P.S.  Every time I watch this scene, I laugh because it strikes me as a particularly perverted vegan version of American Pie.   Bob sees greenery.  The greenery makes Bob excited.  So Bob... in his excitement and giddy exuberance... pantomimes having sex with it.   The only thing that's missing at this point is Eugene Levy.


And of course you know what happens in the following scene...

"Well, we'll just tell the Kotas that we... uh... ate it."

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