The Funny 115 - version 2.0

#63.  Dreamz gives a shalingua
Fiji - episodes 4 and 8

Yay!  Two Dreamz entries in a row.  This must be what it is like for Yau-Man when he writes a therapy journal.

Yau Man

It's episode four of Survivor: Fiji, and Dreamz is at Tribal Council.

And that's when he hears a word that is... well... is a little bit confusing to him.  

Matter of fact, he has never actually heard this particular word before.

"Dreamz goes on a soliloquy about... you know... how some people should be voted off.'


soliloquy (noun)  \sə-ˈli-lə-kwē\ - 1: the act of talking to oneself  2: a dramatic monologue that represents a series of unspoken reflections

Dreamz hears this word and his inner monologue quickly tries to process it

Meanwhile, as Dreamz is trying to process the word soliloquy, Jeff continues...

"So Dreamz, you come back to camp, and you decide, let's just have a powwow.  And I'm gonna tell you how it is."

"Well, not like that Jeff.   Don't make me sound like a monster."

"I'm asking!"

"Alright, I was just sayin' "Stop me if I'm wrong.  If you all think I'm wrong, at any point in time."

"Nobody stopped me, Jeff."

"They let me go on a.... shakwila... or whatever she called it."


Boo and Lisi enjoy the word mix up

"Yeah.  They let me go on a soliloquy, or whatever they called it."

Now okay, that's a pretty funny moment.  Right?  I mean, a guy tries to use a word that he doesn't understand.  And then he completely butchers the pronunciation.  That's awesome Funny 115 material, don't you think?

What, you say that it's not?  You say that I need to try a little harder than that?

Well first of all, you're right.  That scene is kind of funny, true, but it's certainly not something that is Funny 115 worthy.  I mean, there have been lots of times in Survivor history where a person encountered a word that they didn't understand.  Who can forget Ralph not knowing the word "cohesive"?  Or Darrah not being able to pronounce "firewood"?  Or Neleh not being able to say "Fuck this you motherfucking cocksucker"?

Who can forget Big Ted not understanding the word "no"?

Doesn't know the meaning of the word "can't"

Yes, there have been lots of times in Survivor history where a player didn't recognize a word, or butchered the pronunciation of a word he or she didn't really understand.

"Guys!   We've got amber!!"

So anyway, if this has happened so many times in Survivor history, if people are mispronouncing or misusing words they don't really understand left and right, what is it that makes Dreamz lack of recognition of the word soliloquy so particularly special?  What makes the soliloquy scene worthy of the #63 spot on the Funny 115?

Ah yes.  Well I am glad that you asked that.

The reason Dreamz' butchering of "soliloquy" is so awesome is because... are you ready for this?... four episodes later, in episode eight, he tries to use it correctly again.  And once again he completely butchers it.

That's right.  Dreamz is the first person in Survivor history to turn his linguistic ignorance into his own little callback joke.

I love this moment.  Take it away, Mister Dreamz.

It's episode eight of Survivor: Fiji, and Lisi and Dreamz are in a heated argument at Tribal Council

Dreamz:  "Let me ask you.  Do you wanna be here?"

Lisi (winding up to give a big long complicated answer):  "Okay..."

Dreamz:  "It's a yes or no question!"

Dreamz (going down the line):  "Do you want to be here, Alex?"  Alex:  "Yes"

Dreamz:  "Do you want to be here, Edgardo?"  El Doucho:  "You know it."

Dreamz:  "Do you want to be here, Mookie?"   Mookie:  "Yep."

"You see how simple their answers was?"

"And then she gives me a... shalingua..."

(struggling) "... uh, a shakwaria..."


"Yeah, they didn't give me one of those."

Jeff laughs

Everyone laughs

Thank you for this wonderful scene, Dreamz.  It is easily one of my favorite moments of Survivor: Fiji.

P.S.  Here's a great observation from a reader named Mike:  "Another funny thing about this entry is that by definition Lisi is using "soliloquy" incorrectly. Unless she is actually suggesting Dreamz was talking aloud to himself as if no one was listening..."  An excellent point.  Thanks Mike!

P.P.S.   Sorry, I couldn't resist.

"Soo Yee?"

"No. Soliloquy."

"Shin Jo?"



"No!!  Soliloquy!!"


"Shitty apartment?"



"No!  Soliloquy!  It's soliloquy, you idiots!!  Soliloquy!!!"


"I dunno."

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