The Funny 115 - version 2.0

#65.  Amanda's dead eyes
China, Fans vs Favorites, and Heroes vs Villains - all season long

"And, you know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes.  Black eyes.  Like a doll's eyes."

"When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living."

"I met this six year old child, with this blank, pale, emotionless face."

"...and the blackest eyes.  The Devil's eyes. "

"I watched him for fifteen years, sitting in a room staring at a wall, not seeing the wall.  Looking past the wall.  Looking at this night, inhumanly patient.  Waiting for some secret, silent alarm to trigger him off."

"What are they doing?  Why do they come here?  Some kind of instinct.  Memory, of what they used to do. This was an important place in their lives."

"You always have a glazed over look on your face.  Was that part of your strategy, to kind of play the zombie pretty girl, not really knowing what’s going on pageant queen cliché?"


By now I'm sure you get the joke.  Yes, Amanda Kimmel kind of looks like a zombie.

But here's the thing.  As much as I love "The Amanda Zombie Face", what makes it so spectacularly awesome (and perfect for the Funny 115) is the fact that... you know, most of the time, Amanda is actually an extraordinarily attractive person.  I mean, come on, you're not just talking about some random girl off of the street here.  You're not talking about some chick who is only kind of cute, like the girl next door.  Amanda Kimmel isn't just "kind of" cute, she happens to be a former Miss Montana.  She is so cute that she has actually won beauty contests because of it.

In real life, Amanda is so hot that I bet most other women tend to naturally hate her.


But what happens with Amanda... how she winds up with a zombie face... is that she's got dead eyes.  Or, as Doctor Sam Loomis said above, "the Devil's eyes."   She's got the type of eyes that look creepy in pictures if you see them from the wrong angle.  It's not really her fault, she was just born that way.  She was born with eyes that are flat, lifeless, heavy-lidded, and opaque.

So what happens is that the minute Amanda stops smiling...

The minute the emotion goes out of her face and all her facial muscles go slack...

The minute she starts concentrating on something and is trying to look all serious...

She comes off looking like... well, you guessed it....

A zombie.

So anyway, here we go.  Here are the top 15 pictures of Amanda looking like a zombie.  Or of Amanda just staring off blankly into The Dead Zone.   Or of Amanda's flat eyes just looking weird and creepy and lifeless in a picture.  I dug through every single freaking minute she spent playing Survivor (over three different seasons!), and these are my 15 favorites.

This was a lot harder than it looks, by the way.  Believe me, there were a lot of nominees for this countdown.

And yes I cheated on some of them by screen capping her in the middle of a sentence.  Screw you, I can do whatever I want.  It's my list.

The Top 15 "Amanda in the Dead Zone" pictures

15.  Crap, I think Medusa got her

14. I can see into your soul!!

13.  She's a demon!!!

12.  The Devil's eyes

11.  Brrraaaiiinnnsss!!!

10.  There is no Dana, there is only Zuul

9.  Wait'll they get a load of me

8.  Brrraaaiiinnnsss!!!!!!

7.  Welcome to the Dead Zone

6.  Fresh from the grave

5.  Tom is way into necrophilia

4.  Braaaaaaaaaaaaiiinnnsssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!

3.  Watch out Todd!  She's a flesh eater!

2.  Looking at the wall.  Looking through the wall.

1.  J.T., just leave her alone.  She's dead.

P.S.  By the way, want a great quote about Amanda that is way funnier now after you have read this entry?  Check out this quote from Parvati towards the end of Micronesia.


P.P.S.  When I originally sat down to create "The Amanda Face" entry, I originally thought it was going to be her other famous face, the infamous Amanda Doe Eyes.  However, once I realized that there were way more pictures of her looking like a corpse, I switched from Doe Eyes to Dead Eyes, and I think it made a funnier entry.

However, if you are a fan of the Amanda Doe Eyes, here you go.  Merry Christmas.


P.P.P.S.  Want a great video of somebody making fun of yet another famous Amanda Face?  Check out this clip on Youtube where Jerri makes fun of Amanda's "sour face."  Thanks Jerri.   I love Jerri.

P.P.P.P.S.  By the way, as much as I love pictures of Amanda, I also equally love quotes about Amanda.  All of these quotes were taken from my Funny 115 discussion thread at Survivor Sucks.  If you have never stopped by and read the thread at Sucks before, you really should, because there are some funny people there:

From newslang:  "I don't know if it's really something that can be included on the Funny 115 but it's kinda funny how similar Amanda's China/Micronesia games were.  Pretty UTR for the first bit, a strategic final 7 episode, she gets close to a person at the final 5, then boots them, she wins the final 2 immunities (and makes a strategic decision in both of them with flipping the cup/underhanding the rods), she votes out the overweight middle aged women, then she has a meltdown and fails the final Tribal Council, only getting votes from young males."

From tullfan3:  "With regard to the "Amanda face", Natalie refers to it as a glazed over, zombified look.  The problem with the Micronesia jury is that Natalie, Alexis and Eliza all seem to have it in for Amanda but it doesn't follow from the editing.  The only thing that makes sense is that the 3 of them are all jealous that a vapid airhead beat them."

And my favorite...

From linesinaconversation:  "Amanda is so much worse and better than people give her credit for. "

"Yo, she bitch.  Come get some!"

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