The
Funny 115 - version 2.0
#70.
Shane's Blindside
Exile Island - episode 12
If you were to pick the top 50 most memorable moments in Survivor
history, I would be willing to bet that a good number of them would
probably be blindsides. After all, these are the moments that
really tend to resonate with people. When a big cocky
character
takes a big humiliating fall, and-- best of all-- he doesn't see it
coming for a second, these are the types of moments that Survivor has
traditionally tried to build its storylines around.
Case in
point, remember these guys? For 80% of the people
reading
this countdown, I'm guessing I don't even have to mention their names.
Just by looking at their faces I bet you know exactly who
they
are and what season they were on.
The reason you remember this is because all five of them were big
characters, and all five of them were blindsided.
Now,
just on the surface, a blindside is awesome enough on its own.
I
mean, it's a person who gets totally bitchslapped when they didn't see
it coming. What's not to love about that? That's
the
equivalent of watching AFV and seeing some random fan at a soccer game
take a ball to the face. Whether you like the guy or
didn't
like the guy or whatever, I don't care what you
say. A guy
takes a ball to the face and he didn't see it coming, that's funny.
(whining) "No it's nottttttt."
So anyway, yeah, a blindside is generally pretty funny on its
own.
But when it comes to a Survivor
blindside, well, now, that's sort of a whole different category of
awesomeness altogether.
When
it comes to a Survivor blindside, now you throw in the added variable
that there's about a 50% chance said blindside is happening to a crazy
person.
And once you throw crazy into the mix... well now pretty
much all bets are off. Because if you combine crazy +
blindside +
starving + scumbags, now you have a recipe for some pretty
awesome
TV.
Which, hey, what do you know? Is exactly what happened in our
#70 entry!
All work and no play makes Shane a dull boy
All work and no play makes Shane a dull boy
All work and no play makes Shane a dull boy
All work and no play makes Shane a dull boy
All work and no play makes Shane a dull boy
All work and no play makes Shane a dull boy
All work and no play makes Shane a dull boy
All work and no play makes Shane a dull boy
All work and no play makes Shane a dull boy
All work and no play makes Shane a dull boy
One
of the things that has made Survivor so spectacular over the years is
that when they cast people for the show, they don't just go out there
and cast people. No, they go out there and they cast -fun-
people. They go out there and they look for the type A
personalities. They look for the people you will remember.
They seem to spend a lot of time specifically looking for the
loose cannons.
And, well, with Shane Powers, you don't get very much looser than that.
Shane was an awesome Survivor character for two reasons.
First
off, he was kind of nuts. No, not nuts in a scary way, like
he's
going to come over to your house and hack up your family or anything.
But he was definitely nuts in the sense that, in his own
words,
he was "thirty-four going on twelve." So from just a strange
loose cannon psycho boy A.D.D. perspective, Shane was already kind of
nuts just as a baseline.
Oh yeah, and then add in the fact that Shane had just given up smoking
right before he went on Survivor. And I mean right before he
went on Survivor. He quit smoking like two minutes before the
game began.
Take
a guy who is already kind of nuts to begin with, throw him into a
stressful situation where he's not sleeping, eating, or drinking water,
and then throw in massive nicotine detox on top of that?
Yikes. Do you really want to see how crazy a guy
like that
will get? And do you really want to see what happens when a
guy
like that actually gets blindsided?
What, you say that you do?
Well I do too! Yay!
Let's go watch it.
Thinks Charlie Sheen has some good ideas
It's the twelfth episode of Exile Island, and Shane Powers
thinks he has the game in the palm of his hand.
And
why wouldn't he? After all, he's in the dominant alliance.
He has solid allies behind him in Aras and Cirie.
He's a
strong competitor who is good at challenges and also helps out around
camp. Why would there be any reason to worry?
On paper, Shane Powers at tonight's Tribal Council should be as safe as
can be.
And he knows it.
Prior to the vote, Shane congratulates Aras on the fact that they'll
both make the final four.
Shane thinks he will be perfectly safe tonight. He can
totally see himself making the final two.
But that's when he gets to Tribal Council.
And that's when the wheels come off.
The final five at Tribal Council
Shane appears confident
But not for long.
Shane's #1 ally (Aras) decides to turn on him
And so does his #2 ally, Cirie. Now Shane is pretty much
toast.
And now all that's left is the official blindsiding.
Shane awaits the results of the vote
The first Shane vote comes up. Uh oh.
As Scooby Doo would say, "Aroo?"
Shane vote #2 comes up.
More Shane reactions
Jeff reaches into the urn for the deciding vote... and Shane reacts....
... he knows what's coming...
... preparing for the blow...
"The fifth member of the jury... Shane."
Blindsided
Now although Shane's facial
expressions and cartoon like reactions were already awesome enough,
what happens next is what officially
makes him a legend. Because after Shane's blindsiding comes
the
most important part of the entire sequence: Shane's reaction.
This is what we have been waiting for.
So here we go.
What happens
when a guy who is already nuts to begin with has one last chance to
speak to the people who have betrayed him, and who have voted him out
of the game?
How will Shane direct his
fury towards the people that he once thought were his friends?
What words of wisdom will
Shane Powers leave as his one final legacy in Exile Island?
Well here you go.
This is what happens when you
blindside a crazy guy.
"Oh my God. I'm gonna have a chocolate ice cream bar in about
one min..."
He turns to face them
"I mean... ONE MINUTE!"
He holds the pose just to let the message sink in
Then he turns back to Jeff
This is my favorite part of the scene. The awkward pause.
Jeff just stands there and smirks at him. He is
clearly trying not to laugh at what just happened.
Still fighting it....
And then finally... "Shane, the tribe has spoken."
*smuff*
I love it.
I love that
you are waiting for this big huge explosion of anger or rage (or
whatever) and instead he makes a joke. He makes an ice cream
joke. It's just classic Shane. The guy is
unpredictable
even by loose cannon standards.
Shane Powers is so unpredictable and is so much of a wild card
that when it's time for him to snap, he doesn't even snap right!
And there he goes. That's it for Shane. A truly
awesome ending for an
awesome character.
Scumbags
P.S. Fine, but you
should have already known this. The guy in the middle is
Hunter from Marquesas.
