Funny 115 - version 2.0
Erik licks Cirie
Fans vs. Favorites - episode 11
Okay now here is a scene that just about everyone remembers.
is episode eleven of Fans vs. Favorites, and the Foshizzle Tribe is
competing in the most beloved of all the Survivor reward challenges.
They are competing in the ever-popular free food giveaway.
"Okay, today we are going to be auctioning off food."
"Yay! We love food!"
there is one thing you say about the Survivor food auction, it is that
just about every one of them in Survivor history has had at least one
moment that is funny or is in some way oddly memorable. After
all, these are the scenes where we get stuff like Debbie not knowing
how to bid in $20 increments, or Big
Tom becoming an anti-Semite just because he got an
extra piece of ham, or Jenna Morasca
because the deaf girl took her letter, or Clay Jordan ejaculating when
he sees a Hawaiian woman.
These might not be the most
epic or the most strategic moments in Survivor history, but they have
always been among my favorites.
And... well... I guess it's safe
to say that the Fans vs. Favorites food auction had its own
funny/goofy/disturbing standout moment as well.
And, perhaps most shockingly, it didn't include Jason.
the star of the Fans vs. Favorites food auction is our very
Ozzy Lusth wannabe, Erik Reichenbach. Who manages to take an
innocent auction of chocolate cake, and turn it into a
of sexual delight and of the senses.
That's right. Behold, my friends. But first take
the kids away.
Because this is what happens when chocolate and farm boys go wrong.
It's the episode eleven food auction, and the Foshizzles are happily
bidding away on food items.
Cirie wins French fries
Erik bids on a mystery plate
James chows down on fruit bat
Amanda loses a jury vote to a $280 peanut butter and jelly sandwich
Jason likes shiny things
And then finally, we come to the big one.
The one that everybody has been hoping for.
In the exact words of Jeff Probst, "It's a gigantic chocolate
Natalie makes a cake face
So does Alexis
Natalie wins the cake, and Jeff announces that there is a twist that
goes along with it.
reads the twist out loud: "You must share this cake with
your tribesmates. You have sixty seconds to eat as much as
She picks Parvati, Alexis, and Cirie
The four of them dig into the cake.
Om nom nom nommmmm
Erik sees this last image (Cirie's gooey chocolatey fingers) and he
suddenly gets an idea
"I'll give 'em twenty bucks each to lick their fingers when they're
The most underrated part of this scene. James in the
background hears this and mutters "ew."
And just like that, the feast is over. "5... 4.. 3... 2...
1... and you're done."
would think the feast was over. But you would be wrong.
Because now it is time to pay the piper. Now it is
a little Reichenbach time.
"Erik," says Cirie, through a mouthful of food, "Hwwwmwm mffffphhhh you
sppffff youwnnnnn pfffffmpph?"
"Twenty bucks. I say twenty bucks to lick your
"Twenty pmffffff fingffffff?"
Erik is caught off guard by her shrewd negotiating skills
"Alright, alright, how about forty bucks to lick your fingers."
James looks on in amazement. "He's serious?!"
Cirie doesn't care that it's gross. All she cares about is
that she just made forty bucks. "Mmmmfkay."
So Cirie comes over.
She holds out her fingers.
And the forbidden ritual of chocolate bacchanalia begins.
Erik moves in for the kill
"Ah, that's sad," comments James.
Erik continues the assault, as Brett comes over to investigate
"Somethin's wrong with that boy."
To quote Frank Drebin: "I've got nine more."
They call me Dr. Lickenbach
"He really has problems, poor thing."
Get a room
Erik gets every little last bit of cake off
And then, finally... mercifully... Jeff calls for an end to the
Reichenbach finger orgy.
"Knock it off before I get the hose"
And that's pretty much it for the most sexual non-Jenna Lewis-moment in
"Can I lick Ozzy now?"
* Special thanks to Nemo78 at Survivor Sucks for the CGI Brett picture