The Funny 115 - version 2.0

#80.   Erik licks Cirie
Fans vs. Favorites - episode 11

Okay now here is a scene that just about everyone remembers.

It is episode eleven of Fans vs. Favorites, and the Foshizzle Tribe is competing in the most beloved of all the Survivor reward challenges.  They are competing in the ever-popular free food giveaway.

"Okay, today we are going to be auctioning off food."

"Yay!  We love food!"

"Food!  Yay!"


If there is one thing you say about the Survivor food auction, it is that just about every one of them in Survivor history has had at least one moment that is funny or is in some way oddly memorable.  After all, these are the scenes where we get stuff like Debbie not knowing how to bid in $20 increments, or Big Tom becoming an anti-Semite just because he got an extra piece of ham, or Jenna Morasca breaking down because the deaf girl took her letter, or Clay Jordan ejaculating when he sees a Hawaiian woman.

These might not be the most epic or the most strategic moments in Survivor history, but they have always been among my favorites.

And... well... I guess it's safe to say that the Fans vs. Favorites food auction had its own funny/goofy/disturbing standout moment as well.

And, perhaps most shockingly, it didn't include Jason.


No, the star of the Fans vs. Favorites food auction is our very own Ozzy Lusth wannabe, Erik Reichenbach.  Who manages to take an innocent auction of chocolate cake, and turn it into a carnal orgy of sexual delight and of the senses.

That's right.   Behold, my friends.  But first take the kids away.

Because this is what happens when chocolate and farm boys go wrong.

Ozzy Lusth


It's the episode eleven food auction, and the Foshizzles are happily bidding away on food items.

Cirie wins French fries

Erik bids on a mystery plate

James chows down on fruit bat

Amanda loses a jury vote to a $280 peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Jason likes shiny things

And then finally, we come to the big one.

The one that everybody has been hoping for.

In the exact words of Jeff Probst, "It's a gigantic chocolate cake."


Natalie makes a cake face

So does Alexis

No comment

Natalie wins the cake, and Jeff announces that there is a twist that goes along with it.

Natalie reads the twist out loud:  "You must share this cake with three of your tribesmates.  You have sixty seconds to eat as much as you can."

She picks Parvati, Alexis, and Cirie

The four of them dig into the cake.




Om nom nom nommmmm


Erik sees this last image (Cirie's gooey chocolatey fingers) and he suddenly gets an idea

"I'll give 'em twenty bucks each to lick their fingers when they're done."

The most underrated part of this scene.  James in the background hears this and mutters "ew."

And just like that, the feast is over.  "5... 4.. 3... 2... 1... and you're done."

You would think the feast was over.  But you would be wrong.  Because now it is time to pay the piper.  Now it is time for a little Reichenbach time.

"Erik," says Cirie, through a mouthful of food, "Hwwwmwm mffffphhhh you sppffff youwnnnnn pfffffmpph?"

"Twenty bucks.  I say twenty bucks to lick your fingers."

"Twenty pmffffff fingffffff?"

Erik is caught off guard by her shrewd negotiating skills

"Alright, alright, how about forty bucks to lick your fingers."

James looks on in amazement.  "He's serious?!"

Cirie doesn't care that it's gross.  All she cares about is that she just made forty bucks.  "Mmmmfkay."

So Cirie comes over.  

She holds out her fingers.

And the forbidden ritual of chocolate bacchanalia begins.

"Oh baby..."

Erik moves in for the kill

Deep throat

"Ah, that's sad," comments James.

Erik continues the assault, as Brett comes over to investigate

"Somethin's wrong with that boy."

To quote Frank Drebin:  "I've got nine more."

They call me Dr. Lickenbach

"He really has problems, poor thing."

Get a room

Erik gets every little last bit of cake off

And then, finally... mercifully... Jeff calls for an end to the Reichenbach finger orgy.

"Knock it off before I get the hose"

And that's pretty much it for the most sexual non-Jenna Lewis-moment in Survivor history.

"Can I lick Ozzy now?"

* Special thanks to Nemo78 at Survivor Sucks for the CGI Brett picture

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