Funny 115 - The Third One
South Pacific - episode 14
This is just a quick little scene from episode
fourteen of South Pacific, but it is so perfect in the way it plays out
that it always makes me smile. So I figured it should get its
This one stars the puppy dog of South Pacific
himself: Brandon Hantz
so we're down to five Upolus left in the game, and basically the
storyline at this point is "how is Brandon going to screw up this
game?" Honestly, that's the entire storyline of South Pacific
this point. Ozzy is over at Redemption Island, Coach is busy
being BFFs with God, and the Upolu four are trying their best to dance
around the fact that Brandon has good intentions, but he is a loose
cannon. They can't control him. The kid has a heart
gold, but sooner or later he is going to do something stupid and he is
going to screw it all up. They can all just feel it.
Bad, Brandon! Sit, Brandon! Bad!
Okay, so we're down to the last five Upolus, and Coach is
sitting there in a hammock doing what he does best.
He is pontificating about something that is probably just an allegory
for how much he can bench press.
"And anyway, that's how I came up for the idea for Uber."
Just kidding. Here's how it went.
Coach is pontificating to Albert about who they need to fear
in the upcoming jury vote
agrees that maybe Brandon might be a threat. The kid is a
disaster but everyone seems to like him. That's a bad combo.
In the middle of Albert's sentence, Brandon comes up from
behind him and he interrupts everything
Hey guys, what's up?
Albert: "Um, we're just talking about jury
threats, and stuff like that."
Albert tries to quickly hide the fact that they were talking
Coach sighs. This is why it is annoying to have
the puppy dog around. Hantz Junior is always underfoot.
Coach asks how Brandon is doing
"I'm a little bit nervous, what's the conversation?"
Coach kind of snaps at him
"Don't be a bully. Don't interrupt us."
Brandon has a sad
Grownups were talking. Go play with your toys.
Coach gives Brandon a horrible guilt trip
Brandon, naturally, has a hashtag Survivor Breakdown over
My God, what have I done?
This is worse than that time Mikayla set fire to my
trailer while wearing that thong
Coach feels bad that he made Brandon cry
As always, Coach makes up for Brandon's sad by hugging it out
wasn't actually there in this scene, but since she has probably seen
this exact same interaction a hundred times before, this is how she
would probably react
Okay, and now we get to the fun part.
Right after Brandon's little interruption breakdown, Coach
sits down to go on a rant about it
"Brandon really pissed me off."
"You know, all of a sudden Brandon comes bullying up to us
and is like "What are you guys talking about?""
"First of all, it's rude to interrupt somebody's
"Number two, bullying people is not gonna help you at this
"In fact it's gonna seal your fate."
is so angry that Brandon keeps nosing his way into things and
interrupting, that he goes down to the beach so he can have A Stoic
Coach Moment (tm).
"The apple never falls far from the tree."
"And meeting [Brandon's] father was double confirmation..."
Here Coach pauses, so he can milk the moment for perfect
And sure enough, right in the middle of a rant about how
Brandon always interrupts everyone...
Here comes Brandon
To interrupt him
South Pacific has a lot of cute little character moments
towards the end of the season, this is one of my favorites.
Oh my little Chester the Molester, why can't I quit you?