Funny 115 - The Third One
#23. The Christy Fifty
San Juan Del Sur - All Season Long
When I sat down to research version three of this countdown, I
would generally start by emailing friends of mine who are big fans of
the show and who have never missed an episode of Survivor. I would
contact them and I'd ask them which funny moments stood out to them the
most from each season.
And without question, there was one answer that ALWAYS came up whenever I asked about San Juan Del Sur.
That's right. It was the meat collector Alec Christy.
And his mouth that was forever hanging open whenever they panned to him over on the jury.
I don't know why Alec's mouth was always hanging wide open. Maybe he's
simply a mouth breather. Maybe he has a deviated septum. Maybe he
stepped on a nail and he had lockjaw. Maybe this is just how he
processes information. Maybe he recently found out who
won Nicaragua and he was as amazed as you were. I don't know.
I know is, almost EVERY single time they panned to Alec on the jury,
his mouth was hanging wide open. Like he was trying to catch flies.
And the editors would keep lingering on the shot because they knew how goofy it looked. It was the funniest thing.
Reddit, somebody even referred to Alec as having a "dial-tone face."
And that's a phrase you will never get out of your head the minute you
If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and dial again
And this led me, of course, to a question.
My question is, okay yeah, so everyone remembers Alec as having Resting Chad Face (RCF) when was sitting there on the jury.
Ask around about San Juan Del Sur, and that's like the first thing that everyone will nominate.
But my question is... so wait a minute...
If Alec was like that when he was on the jury, he HAD to be doing the same thing when he was still a player in the game. Right?
I mean, there's no WAY he only started doing that when he was a member of the jury.
Lost in a cream cheese fantasy somewhere
so this is the entry you now find yourself reading. Where I, Mario
Lanza, went looking for EVERY other moment in San Juan Del Sur where
Alec was just standing there off to the side, with his mouth hanging
No, not this one
Would you believe that I found a BUNCH of other shots of Alec standing around with his mouth hanging open?
Ones that you probably never noticed before?
In fact, would you believe that I found A HUNDRED AND TWENTY TWO OF THEM??
Oh shit, Mario I hate you
here we go. It's time for an entry you are never going to forget. Where
I (meat) collected my favorite fifty pictures of Alec standing there,
or sitting there, or lying there. With his mouth hanging wide open. And
not when he was on the jury, either. All fifty of these ARE WHEN
HE WAS STILL A PLAYER IN THE GAME.
In fact, he was doing it as early as the first episode
Are you ready for this? I like to call it The Christy Fifty.
and P.S. I didn't have to cheat and hit pause when he was in the middle
of speaking to get any of these. All of these are legit pictures you
can spot if you are simply watching the episodes. In fact, some of the
funniest ones are when the camera barely catches him doing it off to
the side when somebody else is talking. Alec Christy open mouth
photobombs are the best.
Hey, didn't you pitch for the Braves?
Okay, so here we go. The Christy Fifty.
A guy who is very good looking in real life...
... but who has a really bad habit when he's listening to people.
THE CHRISTY FIFTY
All of these are from episodes 1-12 when he was still a player in the game.
Presented in no particular order.
#50Episode five - pure shock #49Episode three - the sleep collector #48Episode nine - general befuddlement #47Episode four - did I leave the oven on? #46Episode two - Sweet, that's John Rocker #45Episode seven - the rare Double Chad #44Episode seven - how can somebody do that? #43Episode ten - the King of all Alec Episodes
Author's Note: Alec's mouth is hanging wide open for almost forty-five straight minutes
in episode ten. It's a thing of beauty if you go looking for it. In
fact, I think that's the episode where his mouth got permanently stuck
open. Probably because of some accident caused by a Make a Wish kid.
Anyway, back to the Christy Fifty.
#42Episode seven - The Magnificent Lord Fauntleroy #41Episode ten - The vibrating seat cushion #40Episode eight - NO WAY! #39Episode ten - Dude, wasn't John Rocker once here? #38Episode eleven - Is Reed the one on our team? #37Episode three - Man, my brother is such a badass over there #36Episode ten - Flycatching at night #35Episode ten - Wondering if we should stick to the plan #34Episode five - The peat collector #33Episode ten - I wonder if he knows I flirt with his girlfriend #32Episode two - doof with dignity #31Episode ten - Seriously, where the hell did John Rocker go?? #30Episode three - Prince Valium of Druidia #29Episode ten - Just pure shock #28Episode nine - Watching Wes eating ribs #27Episode ten - The opera singer #26Episode ten - Learning that Baylor's a brat #25Episode ten - McMurphy after the lobotomy #24Episode eleven - Wow, something's happening over there #23Episode one - I think I'll just supervise #22Episode five - OH MY GOD THERE ARE TWO NATALIES #21Episode eleven - So wait, is THAT John Rocker? Or is that the other Jon? #20Episode twelve - the rare side angle #19Episode six - the faces of victory #18Episode ten - Realizing Finkle was really Einhorn #17Episode eight - Who wants a horsey ride? #16Episode eleven - The apathy of the middle child #15Episode twelve - Alecbomb #14Episode four - Dial tone rage #13Episode two - Wanting John Wetteland's autograph #12Episode four - Rainbow chain, cloudy mind #11Episode twelve - There's no cure for tetanus. Please give me medications to ease symptoms and supportive care. #10
Episode six - Peekaboo!
#9Episode eight - Learning how you can nail Miss Michigan #8Episode nine - After being broken by his stepmom #7Episode ten - the Eagle's Beak #6Episode seven - Just doing a straight up Eliza #5Episode ten - No Drew, now I'M the huge badass #4Episode three - I wonder if God wears a hat? #3Episode twelve - Hearing a face melting guitar solo #2Episode eight - dude, I'm tripping balls
And, of course, the best one of them all...
Surprisingly, it's in episode one.
#1Episode one - The Thinker
so there you have it. My tribute to Alec Christy, the more bad ass of
the two Christy brothers. And also, the more open mouthed bass, if you
come right down to it.
The real twinnies of San Juan Del Sur. Mouths open!
I go, I should point out that I really enjoyed Alec in San Juan Del
Sur. He seems like a nice guy. And I sort of feel bad that I had to put
together this entry.
Well okay, let's not go THAT far. I don't feel THAT bad.
Want to know what I REALLY feel bad about?
It kills me that the camera didn't pan down far enough in this picture.Because you just know he was doing it.
In any case, before I sign off, and I leave Alec and his mouth breathing alone, I want to leave you with two things.
First, I want to leave you with this picture.
Where Alec is Aleccing and Wes is Wessing, both in the same shot
then I want to finish with this essay. Which was written by a
friend of mine named Lisa Lundin. Who claims be to the biggest Alec
Christy fangirl of them all.
Remember, after you roast someone, you're then immediately supposed to compliment them.
Take it away, Lisa.
If anyone ever wonders why I love Alec (because I love him so fucking much, even after all this time), this is why:
is a reminder of a more innocent time. A time when people didn't know
the game coming in, couldn't grapple with how to play it. Because Alec
shouldn't have been there. He wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for his
brother. Drew is the one who got cast, and Alec just went along for the
ride. He had never watched the show, and he had no clue what he was getting
himself into. Then a few tribals in, his brother is voted out and he is
left there all on his own trying to play a game he doesn't understand.
And watching him try to do that is a joy (for me at least). Because he
isn't trying to play up some character or make some big moves
warranting him to return. All that is way above Alec, he's just being
himself: a dumb surfer boy in way over his head. He's a Robb Zbacnik for the
modern era. He says dumb weird stuff, he tries his heart out in
challenges, and he ultimately fails at every fucking thing. But hey, at
least he beat Drew. And after he leaves the game he becomes a modern
day Eliza Orlins, being visibly shocked at every turn of events
unfolding in front of him while on the jury.
Instagram is one of the most hilarious things ever, it's basically just
him taking selfies with various fish he's caught.
Literally, the Meat Collector
So anyway, thank you Alec. Thank you for being a good sport and for not killing me when you read this entry.
You are (hopefully) one of the good guys.
P.S. You know I can't leave without at least one last cheap shot
*Thank you to Nathan Barnett for the School of Rock FUBC picture.