The Funny 115 - The Third One




#23. The Christy Fifty
San Juan Del Sur - All Season Long



When I sat down to research version three of this countdown, I would generally start by emailing friends of mine who are big fans of the show and who have never missed an episode of Survivor. I would contact them and I'd ask them which funny moments stood out to them the most from each season.

And without question, there was one answer that ALWAYS came up whenever I asked about San Juan Del Sur.






That's right. It was the meat collector Alec Christy.

And his mouth that was forever hanging open whenever they panned to him over on the jury.




DURRRRRRRRRRR



Now, I don't know why Alec's mouth was always hanging wide open. Maybe he's simply a mouth breather. Maybe he has a deviated septum. Maybe he stepped on a nail and he had lockjaw. Maybe this is just how he processes information. Maybe he recently found out who won Nicaragua and he was as amazed as you were. I don't know.




ZOMG FABIO



All I know is, almost EVERY single time they panned to Alec on the jury, his mouth was hanging wide open. Like he was trying to catch flies.







And the editors would keep lingering on the shot because they knew how goofy it looked. It was the funniest thing.






On Reddit, somebody even referred to Alec as having a "dial-tone face." And that's a phrase you will never get out of your head the minute you hear it.




If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and dial again



And this led me, of course, to a question.






My question is, okay yeah, so everyone remembers Alec as having Resting Chad Face (RCF) when was sitting there on the jury.

Ask around about San Juan Del Sur, and that's like the first thing that everyone will nominate.




Right, Chad?



But my question is... so wait a minute...

If Alec was like that when he was on the jury, he HAD to be doing the same thing when he was still a player in the game. Right?

I mean, there's no WAY he only started doing that when he was a member of the jury.




Lost in a cream cheese fantasy somewhere



And so this is the entry you now find yourself reading. Where I, Mario Lanza, went looking for EVERY other moment in San Juan Del Sur where Alec was just standing there off to the side, with his mouth hanging open.




No, not this one



Would you believe that I found a BUNCH of other shots of Alec standing around with his mouth hanging open?

Ones that you probably never noticed before?

In fact, would you believe that I found A HUNDRED AND TWENTY TWO OF THEM??




Oh shit, Mario I hate you



Yep, here we go. It's time for an entry you are never going to forget. Where I (meat) collected my favorite fifty pictures of Alec standing there, or sitting there, or lying there. With his mouth hanging wide open. And not when he was on the jury, either. All fifty of these ARE WHEN HE WAS STILL A PLAYER IN THE GAME.




In fact, he was doing it as early as the first episode



Are you ready for this? I like to call it The Christy Fifty.

Oh and P.S. I didn't have to cheat and hit pause when he was in the middle of speaking to get any of these. All of these are legit pictures you can spot if you are simply watching the episodes. In fact, some of the funniest ones are when the camera barely catches him doing it off to the side when somebody else is talking. Alec Christy open mouth photobombs are the best.




Hey, didn't you pitch for the Braves?



Okay, so here we go. The Christy Fifty.

A guy who is very good looking in real life...







... but who has a really bad habit when he's listening to people.








THE CHRISTY FIFTY

All of these are from episodes 1-12 when he was still a player in the game.
Presented in no particular order.




#50

Episode five - pure shock



#49

Episode three - the sleep collector



#48

Episode nine - general befuddlement



#47

Episode four - did I leave the oven on?



#46

Episode two - Sweet, that's John Rocker



#45

Episode seven - the rare Double Chad



#44

Episode seven - how can somebody do that?



#43

Episode ten - the King of all Alec Episodes



Author's Note: Alec's mouth is hanging wide open for almost forty-five straight minutes in episode ten. It's a thing of beauty if you go looking for it. In fact, I think that's the episode where his mouth got permanently stuck open. Probably because of some accident caused by a Make a Wish kid.

Anyway, back to the Christy Fifty.



#42

Episode seven - The Magnificent Lord Fauntleroy



#41

Episode ten - The vibrating seat cushion



#40

Episode eight - NO WAY!



#39

Episode ten - Dude, wasn't John Rocker once here?



#38

Episode eleven - Is Reed the one on our team?



#37

Episode three - Man, my brother is such a badass over there



#36

Episode ten - Flycatching at night



#35

Episode ten - Wondering if we should stick to the plan



#34

Episode five - The peat collector



#33

Episode ten - I wonder if he knows I flirt with his girlfriend



#32

Episode two - doof with dignity



#31

Episode ten - Seriously, where the hell did John Rocker go??



#30

Episode three - Prince Valium of Druidia



#29

Episode ten - Just pure shock



#28

Episode nine - Watching Wes eating ribs



#27

Episode ten - The opera singer



#26

Episode ten - Learning that Baylor's a brat



#25

Episode ten - McMurphy after the lobotomy



#24

Episode eleven - Wow, something's happening over there



#23

Episode one - I think I'll just supervise



#22

Episode five - OH MY GOD THERE ARE TWO NATALIES



#21

Episode eleven - So wait, is THAT John Rocker? Or is that the other Jon?



#20

Episode twelve - the rare side angle



#19

Episode six - the faces of victory



#18

Episode ten - Realizing Finkle was really Einhorn



#17

Episode eight - Who wants a horsey ride?



#16

Episode eleven - The apathy of the middle child



#15

Episode twelve - Alecbomb



#14

Episode four - Dial tone rage



#13

Episode two - Wanting John Wetteland's autograph



#12

Episode four - Rainbow chain, cloudy mind



#11

Episode twelve - There's no cure for tetanus. Please give me medications to ease symptoms and supportive care.



#10


Episode six - Peekaboo!



#9

Episode eight - Learning how you can nail Miss Michigan



#8

Episode nine - After being broken by his stepmom



#7

Episode ten - the Eagle's Beak



#6

Episode seven - Just doing a straight up Eliza



#5

Episode ten - No Drew, now I'M the huge badass



#4


Episode three - I wonder if God wears a hat?



#3

Episode twelve - Hearing a face melting guitar solo



#2

Episode eight - dude, I'm tripping balls



And, of course, the best one of them all...

Surprisingly, it's in episode one.



#1

Episode one - The Thinker



zzzzzzzzz





And so there you have it. My tribute to Alec Christy, the more bad ass of the two Christy brothers. And also, the more open mouthed bass, if you come right down to it.




The real twinnies of San Juan Del Sur. Mouths open!



Before I go, I should point out that I really enjoyed Alec in San Juan Del Sur. He seems like a nice guy. And I sort of feel bad that I had to put together this entry.

Well okay, let's not go THAT far. I don't feel THAT bad.

Want to know what I REALLY feel bad about?




It kills me that the camera didn't pan down far enough in this picture.
Because you just know he was doing it.



In any case, before I sign off, and I leave Alec and his mouth breathing alone, I want to leave you with two things.

First, I want to leave you with this picture.




Where Alec is Aleccing and Wes is Wessing, both in the same shot



And then I want to finish with this essay. Which was written by a friend of mine named Lisa Lundin. Who claims be to the biggest Alec Christy fangirl of them all.

Remember, after you roast someone, you're then immediately supposed to compliment them.

Take it away, Lisa.


If anyone ever wonders why I love Alec (because I love him so fucking much, even after all this time), this is why:

Alec is a reminder of a more innocent time. A time when people didn't know the game coming in, couldn't grapple with how to play it. Because Alec shouldn't have been there. He wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for his brother. Drew is the one who got cast, and Alec just went along for the ride. He had never watched the show, and he had no clue what he was getting himself into. Then a few tribals in, his brother is voted out and he is left there all on his own trying to play a game he doesn't understand. And watching him try to do that is a joy (for me at least). Because he isn't trying to play up some character or make some big moves warranting him to return. All that is way above Alec, he's just being himself: a dumb surfer boy in way over his head. He's a Robb Zbacnik for the modern era. He says dumb weird stuff, he tries his heart out in challenges, and he ultimately fails at every fucking thing. But hey, at least he beat Drew. And after he leaves the game he becomes a modern day Eliza Orlins, being visibly shocked at every turn of events unfolding in front of him while on the jury.

Also his Instagram is one of the most hilarious things ever, it's basically just him taking selfies with various fish he's caught.




Literally, the Meat Collector



So anyway, thank you Alec. Thank you for being a good sport and for not killing me when you read this entry.

You are (hopefully) one of the good guys.





The best

















P.S. You know I can't leave without at least one last cheap shot




*Thank you to Nathan Barnett for the School of Rock FUBC picture.


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