The Funny 115 - The Third One

#103.  Trish gets grossed out
Cagayan - episode 10

One of the most notorious challenges on Survivor over the years has been the infamous... and feared... "gross food challenge."  This is the challenge where the players are required to eat something disgusting in order to win a reward.  Or, if the stakes are really high, they are forced to eat something disgusting in order to win immunity.

The gross food challenge has been a part of Survivor since the very first season.  In fact, it is very possible that the show Fear Factor never would have existed had Survivor not invented the gross food challenge and given Fear Factor the entire blueprint for their show.

Butod from season one.  Fucking nasty.

There have been a lot of gross food moments on Survivor over the years.   I'm sure if you know your Survivor history you will remember all of the ones listed below.  Also, my apologies in advance if you ate something right before you read this entry.  Don't blame me, blame the producers.

Tina eats an exploding black worm in Australia

Rotting fafaru, which was so disgusting it could very legitimately be called Boston Rob's Survivor arch-nemesis

A unicorn's butthole, which should never be consumed by anyone under any circumstances, ever

Balut.  'Nuff said.

Yes, there have been a ton of disgusting, or just flat out disturbing, gross food moments on Survivor over the years.

Like Linda drinking blood in Africa

Or the challenge where Jeff blends up raw seafood and they have to drink it

Or Corinne, when she ate Sugar's dead father

But it wasn't until Cagayan that we got the single most disgusting food moment of them all.

Although it will be tough to beat the challenge designed by Make-A-Wish kid Brian Gold - "Eat Raw Chicken from Chipotle"

Okay, here is the gross food moment that probably tops them all.  

Make sure you have your barf bag handy.  This one is repulsive.

It's the tenth episode of Cagayan, and the players have learned that they are about to participate in the famous Survivor food auction

Trish, of course, is the happiest to hear this, because she is skin and bones and she is absolutely starving.  Around camp, the other players have started to refer to her as "Malnutrisha."

Trish cackles with delight at the fact that she is finally going to get some food in her belly


Why is Trish so happy about this?  Well because as she explains to us later in a confessional, all she ever gets to eat is rice and, well, she just wants something a little bit different for a change.

"All I wanted was something to eat, outside of rice."

Trish unhinges her jaw and prepares to consume mass quantities

Okay, so flash forward, and it is time for the Cagayan food auction.

Come on in, guys.  And welcome to the Survivor auction.  Please make sure to make a big move.

Yay!  We love bidding on food!

First up?  Something innocent.  How about candy, popcorn, and soda.

Spencer reacts

Sold!  To Malnutrisha!

Trish comes up and she enjoys her new purchase

Look at that, Kass.  Candy.  It's so yummy and delicious.  Do you have any candy, Kass?

Trish does well with her first purchase, and so does everyone else.  There aren't any stingers in the first part of the auction.

Much to the dismay of Jan from Thailand, Jefra wins a margarita

Kass wins a delicious steak sandwich

Tony and Spencer both react to that one

The best item of all is a delicious plate of barbecue ribs, which is won by Woo.

"Do we fight for the ribs...?"


Probst even takes the time to make the scene extra creepy, by talking dirty to Woo as he is enjoying it.

Do you like having that hot wet meat in your mouth?  Does it thrust it way deep into the back of your throat?  Can you feel its girth?

Do you want those ribs to tie you up and spank you and ask you what you're playing for?

Just kidding.  Go back to the bench and make some big moves.

And now we come to the moment which will disgust you and horrify you.

If you are a Millenial, consider this your trigger warning.

Okay who wants to bid on this covered pink item?

I bet it's yummy!

Trish takes the bait and she throws out a bid

Sold!  To Malnutrisha for sixty dollars!

Trish comes up and she finds out what she bought.

Jeff reveals the item...

And this is where we see the item that is even worse than all the gross food challenge items.  It is worse than the fafaru.  It is worse than the balut.

It is even worse than that time in Borneo where they made the players eat dog food

"Oh gross!!!!!!!!!!"

What is it?

"It's rice!!!!!!!"


Well I guess never mind then.

Thanks Trish.

I woulda rather had the unicorn butt

** Special thanks to Jonas Ceulemans for the Memento/Brad Culpepper picture **

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