The Funny 115 - The Third One




#1. Ozzy Totally Outsmarts Survivor
South Pacific - All Season Long



Okay, at this point in the writeup, there's something we need to talk about when it comes to Ozzy.

Seen here, in Cook Islands, at age eight



This is one of those things that has basically been lost to time, but I think it's important to point out JUST HOW INCREDIBLY BADASS IT WAS when he volunteered to go to Redemption Island for the first time.

I mean, seriously, if you invented a time machine, and you went back to the fall of 2011, and you asked a 2011 Survivor fan to name the most badass moment in Survivor history... "Ozzy sends himself to Redemption" probably would have gotten a lot of votes. It probably wouldn't have gotten the MOST votes. First place probably would have gone to something like "Tina crosses the river to get the rice." Or "Boston Rob cuts Lex's throat in All-Stars." Or "Tom Westman makes his move, and then tomorrow he makes his apologies." Or "Bobby Jon decides the optimal strategy is to run face first into a wall."

Bobby Jon (center) attacking the sea



Through the first twenty-three seasons of Survivor, Ozzy's plan might not have been the MOST badass moment in Survivor history. But it was definitely up there. And like I said, this is one of those things about Survivor history that has sadly been forgotten to time.

Because it winds up not really impacting the season, and because Ozzy winds up losing the game at the end, and because there are farrrrrr bigger moments of South Pacific that still have yet to come up, fans forget just how incredibly ballsy this move was at the time. They forget that, through the first eleven years of Survivor, there had never been anything even REMOTELY comparable to "The alpha of the tribe sacrifices himself out of the game, just so his tribe has a better chance to win."

They forget that Ozzy was an even bigger badass than NYC firefighter Tom Westman right about here.

"Hey guys, don't throw any sticks in the fire while I'm gone. Cause I'll be back."



And yes, of course, you could make the argument that the only reason Ozzy was able to pull off this move at all... was because the producers added a stupid twist in the game for South Pacific. One that allowed players to be voted out of the game, and then get a chance to win their way right back in.

You could make that argument quite easily, and of course you'd be right.

This move definitely only happens in a season like South Pacific.

"Vote me out once, twice, three times. Fuck it, I don't care."

"As long as I've got Redemption I'll probably be back."



Yes, Ozzy had Redemption Island as a safety valve. And yes, most seasons don't contain such a safety valve. So if you want to say you weren't impressed by Ozzy's badassness in South Pacific, you have every right. Yes, it's stupid game-breaking twist, and yes, the producers probably should have never invented it.

In the words of the great one, Dan Foley... I can't disagree with that. I really can't.

"Please God, end this stupid twist and put me out of my misery."



But you know what?

Even though Redemption was a stupid game-breaking twist that the producers shouldn't have done... it was also a stupid game-breaking twist that they actually DID. I mean, this dumb twist actually HAPPENED on Survivor. More than once. So as much as you might want to look down on Ozzy for figuring out a way to exploit it, I really don't think that's fair.

Because here's the big takeaway. Ozzy Lusth, as much as we might want to mythologize him, or turn him into some sort of over-the-top action cartoon figure... he was really just some guy who signed up for a game show. Same as evvvvveryone else.

And just like every other player in Survivor history, all the guy could do was play the hand he was dealt.

Even if that hand was ridiculous, all he could do was react to it.

"And if you're gonna hand me a dumb, game-breaking twist that can be easily exploited by players like me..."

"....well, I say game on."



So anyway, that's why I think people should focus less on how Redemption handed Ozzy one of the greatest storylines of all time. And they should focus instead on how badass it was that he figured out a way to exploit it. Because if you remember your Survivor history correctly, Redemption Island wasn't actually invented for Ozzy. A lot of people believe that it was, but that's wrong. It was invented for a much more prominent player who played the season before this.

The only reason "Redemption Island" ever existed at all was because, I assume, Boston Rob had some sort of a clause in his contract that he would only come back and play again if the producers could ensure he wouldn't just be voted out immediately in the first episode.

Hence, we got this ridiculous new game-breaking twist.

The biggest name in Survivor history (left), with friend



Again, Redemption Island wasn't invented for Ozzy. It was invented the season before. All Ozzy did was he figured out a way to exploit it. Which, I should point out, was something Boston Rob never actually figured out how to do. All Boston Rob used Redemption for was to torture Matt Elrod.

Ozzy was the one who finally figured out the way to exploit Redemption Island. Never forget that.

And this is why Ozzy is forever a badass



Oh and... by the way... I should point out that I'm NOT the only person who is gonna sit here and point out that Ozzy's move was one of the most badass things that has ever happened on this show. Because if you remember your South Pacific (which you should, please go rewatch South Pacific, it's incredible), you'll remember that Cochran actually sat there and openly agreed with me. At the start of episode eight, he points out that Ozzy just did one of the most badass things he has ever seen on this show.

Which is especially notable coming from him because...

A) This is coming from the guy who knows more about Survivor history than just about anyone.

B) This is coming from the guy who had no sort of a connection with Ozzy at all.

C) Again, THIS IS STRAIGHT OUT OF THE MOUTH OF JOHN COCHRAN!

Cochran points out to the Savaiis that they just saw something huge

And he seems surprised that no one else on the tribe seems to acknowledge this



Right after that, we get Cochran commenting on what a badass Ozzy is in a confessional.

Again, this isn't just anyone saying this. This is a guy who knows his Survivor history inside and out. This is a guy I would have been honored to be a part of Survivor Historians. This is COCHRAN.

"Ozzy descended from the heavens, and saved me from going to Redemption."

"He sacrificed himself for the good of the tribe, based on a gamble."

"If everything connects in the way we hope it will..."

"This is gonna go down in history as one of the single biggest and greatest moves in Survivor history."



And again, like I said... it's a shame that so few fans nowadays tend to remember how incredibly BIG this moment was at the time.

"Ozzy sacrificing himself to Redemption" was one of those things that was an actual game changer.

"Or, flip side of the coin, Ozzy goes down in history as Jason Siska."




"Either way, it'll be fun."



So Cochran sits around at camp after the big Ozzy sacrifice, and he tries to explain to these pinheads on Savaii how god damn historic that just was.

"I told Whitney she should be savoring and appreciating this moment."

"She shouldn't be disgusted. Instead she should degust it."



But of course, you know how that goes. The Savaiis SHOULD be all happy and appreciative and amazed by what Ozzy the incredible badass just did for them. But instead of sitting around and appreciating the moment, and appreciating that they were just a part of Survivor history, instead they decide to do what they usually do. They tell Cochran he can go eat a dick.

Because, I mean, you've seen South Pacific. This is just what they do.

They're Savaii.

"Hey guys, wasn't that cool what Ozzy just did?"

"Wasn't that AMAZING?"

Dawn: "We only did it because that was our best option to stay in the game."

"We needed someone who could get the job done out on Redemption."

"No offense, Cochran."



Then, of course, Keith the eight foot tall Sith Lord chimes in.

"I know you keep saying you were willing to go to Redemption, but actions speak louder."

"Sometimes you just gotta step up and take control."





"But that's just me. That's how I live my life."

"I don't live it where somebody else fights my battles for me."




"Sometimes you just gotta step up and prove to the world what you can do."



Now, there are a couple of interesting things that are going on in this scene.

And I feel it's important to point them out, because they are going to become important much later in the episode.

Cochran, I mistrust you



The first thing that's happening in this scene is the most obvious one. It's the fact that Cochran just can't catch a break when it comes to this tribe. Because no matter how HE looks at the game play out, no matter how HE looks at the situation, it's pretty obvious that everyone else on the tribe looks at things much differently.

I mean, it's pretty obvious when you watch this scene why he feels like he will never fit in.

"Wow guys, that was Survivor HISTORY! Wasn't that cool?!"

"Survivor history? More like Survivor puss-tery."

"But wasn't that COOL?"

"Cool if you're Upolu, maybe."



A lot of fans get into the whole "bullying" aspect of South Pacific, and that tends to be all that they focus on when they think about this season. But Cochran himself pointed out in interviews (after the season aired) that he was never actually bullied by anyone on his tribe. For the most part, he actually DID get along with everyone on Savaii. Despite what the edit would try to tell you, he was actually fairly well-liked.

Cochran, you may be infuriating, but you actually delight me



Cochran wasn't actually bullied by anyone on his tribe. He has gone on record and said that. The closest thing he ever got to "bullying" was probably when Ozzy spent the first seventeen days pleading to everyone that they needed to vote out this skinny little dork. Because if they didn't, it was going to wind up costing them.

Which, I mean... hey, you gotta admit...

Ozzy was kinda correct.

Ozzy's oracle skills were fantastic, because Cochran DID wind up costing them



Cochran was never actually bullied by anyone on Savaii. But he most definitely did NOT fit in. With anyone. I mean, you watch this tribe for five minutes and it's pretty obvious. There was no chance Cochran was going to have anything in common with ANY of them.

"Hey Keith, you ever play bowling?"

"Yeah I'm in like four leagues. Why?"

"No, I meant on the Wii."

"What the fuck is a Wii?"

"Wait, you mean bowling is REAL?"

"Cochran, do you ever fucking leave the house?"

"Well, I mean Harvard is partly outside."



Cochran, for lack of a better term, was a fish out of water on Savaii. They didn't know him, and he didn't know them. And at this point in the game, they were never GOING to know each other, either. He was always going to look at this game through the lens of a dorky internet superfan, and they were always going to look at this game through the lens of people who were NOT dorky internet superfans. And that's just the way that it was.

That's the story of Cochran on Savaii in a nutshell.

"Do you guys think Ozzy is going to make the Survivor Hall of Fame one day?"

"I don't know, man. I'm usually too busy thinking about girls."

"I mean, there are girls in the Survivor Hall of Fame too. You think Ozzy could be like Jerri?"

"Hard to say. I don't really watch Seinfeld."



So that's the first thing to take away from this scene.

Cochran wants to point out WHAT A BIG MOMENT IN SURVIVOR HISTORY this "Ozzy goes to Redemption Island" thing just was. And nobody on Savaii seems to care. All they care about is how Ozzy leaving is going to affect them now. Which, I should point out, isn't necessarily the WRONG way to look at the situation. It's just different than the way Cochran is looking at it. That's what I wanted to point out to you.

When you watch this scene, it's really, really obvious why Cochran is going to have far more interest later in hanging around with the Upolus.

Because Upolu has far more dorky internet superfans



Oh, and what's the SECOND thing I wanted to point out about this particular scene around the campfire?

Well, this one is a little more heartbreaking.

Okay sure, maybe the Savaiis are harsh about how Cochran was being a bit of a pussy tonight

And true, maybe it's clear they aren't thrilled to always have him around

And yeah, maybe Dawn flat out admits that they no longer have faith in him

And sure, maybe Jim is now openly giving him the stink eye



But you know what's important to take note of here?

The fact that OZZY WASN'T ACTUALLY HERE DOING ANY OF THIS!

If Cochran got harsh treatment from the Savaiis after the big Ozzy sacrifice, that sucked. Admittedly, it hurt, and it sucked.

But you know what's going to suck even MORE?

When you're off on Redemption Island, being a hero in the name of Savaii



And when you come back to camp, after saving the day for everyone...

Cochran makes you pay for what everyone else on the tribe said to him



I know most people don't look at South Pacific this way.

But from the point of view of Ozzy...

That SUCKED



So anyway, let's get back to how Ozzy's badassness is going to wind up being a giant big fat nothing burger in the end.

Just because Cochran would rather play Survivor with the other dorky superfans.

So the Savaiis all sit around camp, and they pretend to be friends with Cochran for one last night

Even as they subtly openly condescend to him

And he just sits there and enjoys it, because this is all he can do

Up to this point in the season, this is all that he knows



And this, of course, is where the Savaiis hash out their incredibly complex (and incredibly unnecessary) plan for Cochran to become some sort of a hidden, secret, evil Survivor supervillain.

"When I go to the other tribe, and say I idoled out Ozzy, what do you want me to say about all of you?"

"They're going to ask me what all the Savaii bonds are. What should I say?"

"Just say whatever you want, man."

"I don't want to say anything that I shouldn't."

"Whatever. Just make it all up."

"Just say we wouldn't play Wii bowling with you, or some shit."

"Tell them we wouldn't let you play with your Survivor: Guatemala action figures."

"And that would be pretty shitty of you, because the Rafe one you can dunk upside down."



The Savaiis don't have any specific advice for him. They basically just tell him to "pretend that you hate us."

Although this is where Keith drops the line that he doesn't realize is going to become very prophetic.

"You prepared to be the big villain tomorrow?"

Why yes, I am actually quite prepared



But anyway, enough about Savaii.

This isn't the story of Cochran, this is the story of Ozzy.

Let's get back to the Tale of Ozzy.

So it's night eighteen, and Mister Badass Himself has just shown up on Redemption Island



Which, naturally...

Shocks the shit out of Christine

"Hello."





"Hi. I'm Ozzy."

An actual shocked Pikachu face

For I am become death. Destroyer of worlds.

Damnit! I was hoping for that little ginger dork!



And this is where Ozzy shares his ridiculous tale about how Cochran is actually some amazing, sinister, powerful 4-D Survivor chess player.

Which... I have to remind you... is one of the all-time greatest Survivor subplots.

"It was Cochran who put me here."

"Freaking Cochran."

Wait, the Human Wedgie sent you here? No way.

"I can't believe we had a Monty Python movie quote tiebreaker. DAMNIT!"

"THAT LITTLE WEASEL!"



And again, I can't possibly recap this scene without making fun of the whole thing.

South Pacific is one of those seasons they just sort of served up to me right on a plate. It's so goofy.

"I came into Redemption. And I, uh, put on my actor suit."



Keep in mind that is Ozzy is good at a LOT of things.

But, uh, acting is not one of them.

Ozzy's actor suit



Regardless, COMMENCE WITH THE ACTING!

"We all voted for Cochran, and he pulled out the idol."





"Then he laughed at me."





"Then he spin kicked me in the throat, and he pulled out a blade."





"Then he powerbombed me."

Hmmm

"Then he cucked me. That's when he took all my girls."





"Then he killed me."



Anyway, let's just say the acting goes pretty well from Ozzy's side. But it doesn't go over so well from Christine's side.

Which, you know, with her being a cynical New Yorker and all... maybe he should have expected that.

"Then he constructed a trebuchet and he fucking launched Dawn."



And cue the confessional.

"I think she bought it."

"I think that she, uh, took it hook, line, and sinker."

"I think I acted her."

"Wow, this Cochran sounds like quite the scoundrel."

"I had no idea."

"No, you didn't."

"He's like the devil, if the devil was mixed with Hitler."

"Basically."

"Yeah, that's bad."



Man, I just love this scene. Because I have to point out, yet again, that NONE OF THIS IS NECESSARY FOR OZZY'S PLAN IN THE SLIGHTEST.

All Ozzy has to do while he's here on Redemption Island is go to the duel tomorrow, and beat Christine, and knock her out of the game. And that's it. Which we all know he has a 150-200% chance of doing, because she's Christine, and because he's fucking OZZY. Why there has to be all this subterfuge, and all these details about Cochran being an amazing super-villain behind the scenes, is beyond me.

Remember, it doesn't matter if Christine buys this story or not, tomorrow she's dead meat anyway.

All Ozzy is doing here is he's going for style points.

"What is it in this game with me and idols?"

"What is it with lawyers, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"

"Can you describe the frustra..."

"I CAN'T BEGIN TO DESCRIBE THE FRUSTRATION, CHRISTINE!"

"I LOVED THAT MAN!"

"I LOVED YOU, JOHN COCHRAN! AND YOU DID THIS TO ME!"

"Wow, he really sounds like a putz."

"He is. And I told him that as he was suplexing Keith."



Anyway...

Thanks for getting lost into character, Ozzy.

Or should I say Mister Daniel Day-Lewis.

"This is just part of the plan."

"The next step is getting back in the game, and giving the other tribe false information."



And if there's one thing we can say about this whole plan...

"This move is either stupid, or it's brilliant."



And with that, let's jump ahead to the following day.

Because it's time for Plan Either Stupid Or Brilliant to finally go into effect.

Day 19. The Day That Ozzy Becomes Legend.



I already covered the majority of this next scene in my Ozzy Goes for an Academy Award entry. So we'll just skim through it this time instead of getting into all of the details. If you want to get into all of the details, go read that entry. It's one of my favorites.

Stand back, everyone. He's ACTING.



In any case, every player in the game (and also Rick) comes out to watch this particular duel on day nineteen.

Because they all know this is the big one.

The winner of this duel is coming back in the game, and everyone knows it



And of course, because everyone is here, and because everyone is watching....

Ozzy starts doing his acting for everyone

FUCK YOU, COCHRAN. YOU DID THIS!



Which, of course...

Nobody buys.

Yeah, right





So cute. Tee hee.



And then Jeff explains how the winner of today's duel will make Survivor history today.

"The winner of today's duel will earn the Power Is Freedom Advantage."

"Which, combined with Wisdom Is Greatness, gives you a plus four initiative roll when Voting With Judgment."

"And that allows you to earn your way back in the game, and also win a Shot At The Moon."

"Which can only be activated, of course, if you're wearing the Talisman of Freshly Shaved Manatee Nuts."





"Got it?"

"How about whoever wins just gets to come back in the game?"

"Ozzy playing the Negotiation With Sass Advantage. I like it."

"Dude, what happened to you? You used to be beautiful."

"Save it for the podcast, brother. Save it for Why Jeff Sucks."



And anyway...

Hey, guess what happens?

Ozzy wins a challenge again!

As expected, he wins this one fairly easily



And because of that...

Christine is done



And just like that, the King of all Survivor Challenges is now back in the game.

Ozzy wins the duel! And returns to the game!

Yes!



And everyone cheers.

Yay! We love Ozzy!

Well, at least now we don't have to deal with Christine anymore



And it's at this point in the writeup that I need to point out that Ozzy's Hero Journey in South Pacific* is now officially complete.

* his first Hero Journey in South Pacific, anyway

He came into this game with all the enthusiasm in the world

He came into this season raring to go



But then his teammates conspired to undercut him, and sabotage him, and neutralize him...

Again

And again

And again



EVERY single time Ozzy had a friend, or an ally, or someone he was close to, his tribe would vote them right out of the game.

Muhahahaha



Just to make sure Ozzy would never be able to ascend to a position of power.

Damnit. I really need to stop having girlfriends.



But now, on day nineteen, Ozzy has officially done it. Finally.

For the first time all game, he has FINALLY ascended to a position of power.

Despite all of their efforts.

Yeah! Fuck you guys. I'm fucking Ozzy! I did it!



And I feel it's important to point out that, just like the famed Greek hero Theseus, he did it by undertaking what is known as The Hero's Journey.

Just what is the Hero's Journey?

Well here's a definition for you, from Wikipedia: : "In narratology and comparative mythology, the hero's journey, or the monomyth, is the common template of stories that involve a hero who goes on an adventure, is victorious in a decisive crisis, and comes home changed or transformed."

He did it. The son of a bitch did it. Ozzy actually came back.



If you're not familiar with the concept of The Hero's Journey, let me summarize it for you so you can see how Ozzy managed to pull off something that was basically out of Greek mythology.

A Hero's Journey Step #1: The Ordinary World
This is where the Hero exists before his present story begins, oblivious of the adventures to come. It's his safe place. His everyday life where we learn crucial details about our Hero, his true nature, capabilities and outlook on life. This anchors the Hero as a human, just like you and me, and makes it easier for us to identify with him and hence later, empathize with his plight.

At the beginning of our story, Ozzy is a known legend

Oh shit, WE GOT OZZY!

MY PEOPLE! I LOVE YOU!



A Hero's Journey Step #2: A Call To Adventure
The Hero's adventure begins when he receives a call to action, such as a direct threat to his safety, his family, his way of life or to the peace of the community in which he lives. It may not be as dramatic as a gunshot, but simply a phone call or conversation but whatever the call is, and however it manifests itself, it ultimately disrupts the comfort of the Hero's Ordinary World and presents a challenge or quest that must be undertaken.

This one is pretty obvious. They literally give him a Hero Challenge.

Yay! Our hero is better than that kayak guy!



A Hero's Journey Step #3: The Refusal Of The Call
Although the Hero may be eager to accept the quest, at this stage he will have fears that need overcoming. Second thoughts or even deep personal doubts as to whether or not he is up to the challenge. When this happens, the Hero will refuse the call and as a result may suffer somehow. The problem he faces may seem too much to handle and the comfort of home far more attractive than the perilous road ahead. This would also be our own response and once again helps us bond further with the reluctant Hero.

This is evident in his earlier subplot with Dawn

Where Ozzy wants to be her mentor

He wants to mentor all of them, really



But this tribe is SO inexperienced, and SO hard to corral, and SO over their heads when it comes to survival...

And Dawn is SO unpredictable and emotional...

Keep in mind, this was even pre-Brenda



That eventually Ozzy admits to us in a confessional...
 

"Um, I guess I'm the anchor."

"This is exhausting."

Man, this tribe is unleadable



A Hero's Journey Step #4: Meeting The Mentor
At this crucial turning point where the Hero desperately needs guidance he meets a mentor figure who gives him something he needs. He could be given an object of great importance, insight into the dilemma he faces, wise advice, practical training or even self-confidence. 

What's that, you say Ozzy needs to be given an object of great importance?

Well how about a stick with a face on it?



A Hero's Journey Step #5: Crossing The Threshold
The Hero is now ready to act upon his call to adventure and truly begin his quest, whether it be physical, spiritual or emotional. He may go willingly or he may be pushed, but either way he finally crosses the threshold. However the threshold presents itself, this action signifies the Hero's commitment to his journey an whatever it may have in store for him.

At this point Ozzy is like fuck the threshold

Our tribe sucks at survival, but I'll just win all the challenges



A Hero's Journey Step #6: Tests, Allies, Enemies
Note: This is where the Hero's Journey officially starts to get real.

Now finally out of his comfort zone, the Hero is confronted with an ever more difficult series of challenges that test him in a variety of ways. Obstacles are thrown across his path; whether they be physical hurdles or people bent on thwarting his progress.

You know who would be fun to thwart? Ozzy.



The Hero needs to find out who can be trusted and who can't. He may earn allies and meet enemies who will, each in their own way, help prepare him for the greater ordeals yet to come. This is the stage where his skills and/or powers are tested and every obstacle that he faces helps us gain a deeper insight into his character and ultimately identify with him even more.

Hey Cochran, wanna help me thwart someone?

You know, it just struck me that we could thwart Ozzy by revealing he has an idol

Brandon, let's pray that God comes down and kills Ozzy in the name of Upolu

See I love that, because that would thwart him



Once Ozzy has been tossed from the throne, and sabotaged by a group of his underlings, that leads us to this next step, which is the one that we saw in this episode.


The Hero's Journey Step #7: Approach To The Inmost Cave
The inmost cave may represent many things in the Hero's story such as an actual location in which lies a terrible danger, or an inner conflict which up until now the Hero has not had to face. As the Hero approaches the cave he must make final preparations before taking that final leap into the great unknown.

I mean, "the inmost cave" in this story is perfectly obvious.



At the threshold to the inmost cave the Hero may once again face some of the doubts and fears that first surfaced upon his call to adventure. He may need some time to reflect upon his journey and the treacherous road ahead in order to find the courage to continue. This brief respite helps the audience understand the magnitude of the ordeal that awaits the Hero and escalates the tension in anticipation of his ultimate test.

This is the part of the storyline that I think a lot of people forget



If you haven't watched South Pacific in a while, you might not remember that Ozzy didn't want to go to Redemption Island at first. He, and the rest of the Savaiis, wanted Cochran to go. They practically spent an entire night trying to convince Cochran to go, just so Ozzy wouldn't have to.




"Come on, man. Just go there and kick Christine's butt. You know you want to."




"In what world am I going to kick anyone's butt?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's a Pringles Potato Chip Survivor Trivia thing."




"I've never had Pringles. My mom won't let me eat salt."

"Jesus Christ, Cochran."



In any case, at the end of the day, Ozzy decides to make the journey to the inmost cave himself.

The way a hero is supposed to.

I sure hope they have hot girls in there



And that leads us to the duel we saw here in episode eight.


A Hero's Journey Step #8: Ordeal
The Supreme Ordeal may be a dangerous physical test or a deep inner crisis that the Hero must face in order to survive or for the world in which the Hero lives to continue to exist. Whether it be facing his greatest fear or most deadly foe, the Hero must draw upon all of his skills and his experiences gathered upon the path to the inmost cave in order to overcome his most difficult challenge.

Ozzy faces off with his most dangerous foe



And like many of the great heroes we read about in the history books...

He defeats a small middle aged woman



Only through some form of "death" can the Hero be reborn, experiencing a metaphorical resurrection that somehow grants him greater power or insight necessary in order to fulfill his destiny or reach his journey's end. This is the high-point of the Hero's story and where everything he holds dear is put on the line. If he fails, he will either die or life as he knows it will never be the same again.

Well guess what? He didn't fail.

Our hero survived the inmost cave, and he is back in the game

Man, I really thought we had thwarted him



And that leads us to...

A Hero's Journey Step #9: Reward (Seizing The Sword)
After defeating the enemy, surviving death and finally overcoming his greatest personal challenge, the Hero is ultimately transformed into a new state, emerging from battle as a stronger person, and often with a prize.

Hi, I'm Ozzy. I am literally a god.



The Reward may come in many forms: an object of great importance or power, a secret, greater knowledge or insight, or even reconciliation with a loved one or ally. Whatever the treasure, which may well facilitate his return to the Ordinary World, the Hero must quickly put celebrations aside and prepare for the last leg of his journey.

"I just made the craziest move that you could possibly make."

"And now, I can only hope that Cochran's gonna be able to infiltrate Upolu."

"And take the advantage... take the lead..."

"And take the victory."



Although don't be fooled into thinking that Ozzy's Hero's Journey is officially over now. Because there are still three more steps required to make it a proper Hero Arc.

Beginning with...

A Hero's Journey Step #10: The Road Back
This stage in the Hero's journey represents a reverse echo of the Call to Adventure in which the Hero had to cross the first threshold. Now he must return home with his reward but this time the anticipation of danger is replaced with that of acclaim and perhaps vindication, absolution or even exoneration.

The Road Back Home

"Man, I can't believe it. You were awesome."

"Ozzy, that was so amazing!"



But the Hero's journey is not yet over, and he may still need one last push back into the Ordinary World...

And uh oh. Here comes that push.

Because here comes the REAL enemy that Ozzy didn't see coming




The enemy that Ozzy couldn't see coming




It's the battle for Cochran



And this, of course, leads us to the final two stages of a traditional Hero's Journey. Which we're not going to get into just yet, because they will both happen much later in the season, and they aren't particularly relevant yet.

For now, just remember that the final two stages of a proper Hero's Journey are:

11. Resurrection
This is the climax in which the Hero must have his final and most dangerous encounter with death. The final battle represents something far greater than the Hero's own existence with its outcome having far-reaching consequences to his Ordinary World. Ultimately the Hero will succeed, destroy his enemy, and emerge from battle cleansed and reborn.

And the big one. Number twelve.

12. Return With The Elixir
This is where the hero succeeds, gets the prize that he wants, and kicks ass.

And this is where Coach desperately tries to take over this chapter, and make it all about him



In any case, no. Sorry Coach. The Hero's Journey doesn't really apply to you in South Pacific. The person it applies to, the person it has ALWAYS applied to in this particular storyline, is Ozzy. HE is the one who follows the Hero's Journey.

HE is the one we are supposed to be rooting for as "the good guy."

Take it back



Oops. Sorry. I meant Sophie. Sophie is the hero.

Yeah don't you forget it, asshole



In any case, let's wrap up this chapter on Ozzy and his path of The Hero's Journey. Because to be honest, this is where the most interesting part of his storyline actually ends. The minute Ozzy defeats a fearsome minotaur small middle aged woman in combat, and earns his place in the history books, what happens is his storyline now basically ends. From here on out, he's basically just going to become a side character in everyone else's story, and no longer the star of his own.

The minute Cochran flips (in the next episode), the story is now going to become about Coach, and Cochran, and Brandon, and Albert, and Sophie. In more or less that order. And I guess you could throw Edna and Rick in there too, if you were feeling generous.




Purple cowboy, baby! YEEEEEE HAAAAAAAH!



And as for Ozzy's story in the following episodes?




Cochran, you stumblefuck



Well let's just say it's time to start his Hero Journey all over again.

Only this time, starting back again at step number one.




You know, it occurred to me that if I vote with Upolu tonight, we could thwart him



And this is why Survivor is so damn hard when you're following a Hero Journey.




Man, this game is exhausting






Next up... watch Ozzy start his Hero Journey all over again. In a chapter I like to call GOD DAMN YOU JOHN COCHRAN (coming soon).

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