Mario Stories
by Mario Lanza

Hi. My name is Mario Lanza, and I'm a writer. And I've had an interesting life.

Although I'm mostly known for writing about movies and TV shows, most of my best writeups aren't about pop culture at all. They are actually stories about ME. And the strange childhood that I had growing up back in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. And that's why I put together this little section of my website called "Mario Stories." These are stories that I first started writing on my Facebook page a couple of years ago. And they eventually got so popular, and I eventually got so many requests to write more of them, that I eventually just moved them over here on their own little page. And now you, too, can be introduced into the world of Mario Stories.

Most of these stories are pretty funny, although I can't guarantee that all of them will be. Some of them will actually be pretty serious. Although you will definitely see where I got my weird personality and my weird sense of humor, the more that you know about me. Because I can GUARANTEE you, no one had a childhood (or a family) quite like the one I did.

Oh yeah, and yes P.S. all of these stories are 100% true. Although obviously they're filtered through my memory of them at the time, and in some of these stories I was quite young. But I really did try to be as accurate as I could. And you're about to learn something that people have been saying about me ever since I was about five years old: "Damn dude, you have a scary good memory."

And with that, let's get on with the Mario Stories!

Your humble narrator

The Stories
(When there are more of these, I will start to index them by subject)

1. The Night We Watched Alien
2. Growing Up at The Track
3. My Mom at the Movies
4. The Port Angeles Cousin
5. The West Seattle Baseball Game
6. Memories of Mount St. Helens
7. The Truck Stop Girl
8. Self Esteem Camp
9. The Football Bounty
10. Renting Movies with Grandma
11. that albino boy
12. The Mormon Dance Card
13. How To Get in Trouble in Preschool
14. The Insulin Store
15. My Summer as a Serial Killer
16. Button Day
17. The Last Home Run
18. Princess Di
19. The Really Good Amish Mexican Food (coming soon)
20. Ode to my Mom (coming soon)
21. For I Am The One They Call Punky (coming soon)
22. Spending Time at Degrassi (coming soon)
23. Dan the Fan (coming soon)
24. The Superstar Wrestling Association (coming soon)
25. The Night I Got Robbed (coming soon)
26. The Year We Sabotaged Grandpa (coming soon)
27. Sexpo '86 (coming soon)
28. Balloon Warfare With Mom (coming soon)
29. My Life as A Golf Pro (coming soon)
30. The Foot Long Wedgie (coming soon)
31. King of the Arcade (coming soon)
32. The Top Secret! Tape (coming soon)
33. That Time Mom Stole That Sign (coming soon)
34. The Worst Free Throw Shooter ever (coming soon)
35. Little Miss Sunshine (coming soon)
36. Metallic Pea (coming soon)
37. Scared Shitless of the Blue Angels (coming soon)
38. Mendy (coming soon)
39. Making Kaldunies (coming soon)
40. Atalanta (coming soon)
41. The Great Bennett Dam of 1983 (coming soon)
42. Foxy and Freedom (coming soon)
43. Why I Hate The 4th of July (coming soon)
44. Disneyland 1981 (coming soon)
45. The Triple Steal (coming soon)
46. The Day They Hit Gigi (coming soon)
47. Welcome Back, Mark Langston (coming soon)
48. The Spokane Delinquent (coming soon)
49. My College Recommendation (coming soon)
50. The Natchez Emergency Room (coming soon)

My mom in 1997, not knowing thrilled I was going to write stories about her one day on the internet

Questions? Comments? Feedback? Requests for future Mario Stories? Drop me a line at if you'd like to get in touch with me. I always write back.

NOTE: If you like Mario Stories (or any of my other projects), please consider becoming one of my Patrons.

Patron fees are the only way I can keep this website alive, I don't have any other ads or revenue streams.

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